Destiny In Bloom

What Mirror Are You Looking In?

What Mirror Are You Looking In?

posted on August 12th, 2009 / by Stacy Burnett / 15 Comments

What Mirror Are You Looking In?

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Peter 3:2–4

We’ve all had them. Those days when we don’t feel beautiful. In fact, sometimes we feel downright ugly. For me, I’ve had too many of those days in my life.

Several years ago, I was going through a really tough time. I was having the “I’m too fat and ugly and no one is ever going to love me” pity party. I was single and lonely and didn’t think God was ever going to bring “Mr. Right.” There was one night in particular that I was feeling particularly sorry for myself. I had just left a singles’ event that left me feeling even uglier and lonelier than normal … as if that was possible. It was one of those times when I was surrounded by people but felt completely alone … almost like people were scared to look at me … they might be blinded by my ugliness. (Yeah, I know, I can be a drama queen too.)

As I left and got in the car, my heart was aching. I mean just hurting. I started having all kinds of those horrible thoughts about how I looked. I was so upset that I decided not to drive home; instead I just drove around praying and pouring out my heart to God. I was crying out to Him to change my thoughts, to change my feelings about myself.

After a while, I turned on the radio right at the beginning of a song. It was one I’d never heard before, but the words seemed so familiar. It was almost as though I had written them.

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Those were my words! I mean, I didn’t write the song and I wasn’t singing it on the radio, but that was my heart’s cry! It was as though my feelings and emotions were being played out in a song on the radio for everyone to hear. I wanted to be beautiful. Or at least to be told I was beautiful. Even more, I wanted to feel beautiful.

The voice on the radio continued signing:

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy

My heart kept aching. How many times had I looked in the “wrong mirror” trying to feel beautiful, but failed. I wasn’t seeing myself through God’s eyes. I wasn’t looking in His mirror of love and grace. I realized this fight would never end until I started looking in the “right mirror.”

The song continued:

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful

It was like God was singing directly to me. Me! Right in my car. Right in the middle of my pity party. At that moment, God began pouring out His love for me. My heart was full, but no longer of hurt and pain, but of love and peace. God began revealing to me the way He sees me. The love He has for me. I began to feel loved, worthy and beautiful.

That night was just the beginning of the journey He’s been taking me on to show me the true beauty He sees in me. Although, it’s rare that I have these very dramatic and “ugly” meltdowns, it doesn’t mean I don’t have negative thoughts about myself. I still have days where I feel ugly and unworthy of love. I feel like I’m not “pretty enough” or “good enough.” I’m lingering in front of the wrong mirror, gazing in it far too long. It’s on those days that I have to ask myself, “Why are you looking in the wrong mirror again? You need to start seeing what God sees. Start looking in the right mirror.” Part of the journey is remembering to see myself the way God sees me … worthy of love and beautiful.

Beautiful
By Bethany Dillon

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it’s killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I’m dying for new life

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won’t you help me back to glory

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful

Stacy Burnett

Stacy Burnett

15 Responses to “What Mirror Are You Looking In?”

  1. Stacy! Thanks for showing us all that struggle no one talks about! Sometimes people like to pretend the ugly parts we struggle with aren’t there!! It can be something as small as a comment or one of those terrible distorted store windows you walk by and think, “Woah! Last time I wear this outfit!”:) Our society is not kind to women’s self image and it’s easy to let Satan give you a beating through that door!! Especially young girls, who have not become aware yet that there is a wrong mirror!! If we leave them quiet in their struggles, the evidence of them drowning in them is so obvious! I have a heart for this because I was anorexic in my youth for many years! You can actually weigh under 100 pounds and see a distored image in a physical mirror!God’s brought me a long way by his grace, but that doesn’t mean the enemy doesn’t love to throw his junk drawer of lies and see if anything sticks!!
    There’s nothing like music to pierce our souls! that’s why the musicians always lead in battle! Praise seems to always precede a miraculous work or victory much like the praise in the outer courts before entering into the holy of holies!!! Not meaning to digress, but I am so blessed you shared the beautiful reflection that comes out of your heart!!!:) Thanks! Sacha

  2. Sacha –

    Thank you so much for your comment. It has blessed me immensely. I’m so glad God has brought you through this too. You understand what it’s like to be on the journey! :)

    Stacy

  3. What a great blog- I can relate greatly to your past feelings; which are now my past feelings as well. I am so pleased that the Lord speaks to us in ways we would have never imagined; even though sometimes we lack the skills of hearing his voice, and also acting on the word He has for us. I have accepted inner beauty is much more valuable than outter beauty! Thanks again! Blessings!

    -Ashley-

  4. Hey beautiful! Your beautiful! I’m glad your MY beautiful friend! I continue to be inspired by your courage and honesty! I love this song … Thank you for introducing it to me … It’s message has seared itself to my heart like it did yours!

    With the Greatest LOVE!
    ~Ris

  5. Thank you for this…it’s exactly what I needed to be reminded of this morning.

  6. Stacy, Your blog is so honest – I love it! It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable. But, we can help a lot of people in our authenticity.

  7. You are a brave woman and have blessed many with this post! Self-image and cultural brainwashing is something that is very near and dear to my heart; I blog about it often. I have a favorite scripture for this very thing: Genesis 3:11 “who told you that you were naked?” God is questioning Adam and Eve as to why they all of a sudden think they are not enough, have shame and guilt…and it is because they ate of the apple/listened to the world/looked in the wrong mirror! Thanks for your transparency and courage–it is refreshing!

  8. Stacy this was so great! I remember about a year ago I was worshiping at home and singing along with Kari her song Beautiful to the Lord when He stopped me and said He wanted to sing it over me. I cried and cried as the song played and I dared to believe that my Father in heaven was singing the words to me.

    Thank you for sharing this with me. Let me know if ya ever need to view yourself through my lenses. You’ll see the beautiful, smart, and strong woman that I see in you. :)

  9. Touched my heart. Love the song…never heard it. Good reminder to me to make sure I am looking in the right mirror. You are beautiful, my sweet daughter!

  10. Stacy you don’t know me but I am a friend of your mother and she passed along your blog as she was so blessed and wanted to pass the blessing along : ) Don’t you just love how you can pour out to God and he moves circumstances to wash you with his love anew! I believe it is the Amish that don’t allow mirrors in their homes but you know what, sometimes a reflection can come by another person’s negative expression.. especially from someone you have not seen in a long while and they can’t hide their “look” when they see you and you’ve changed so much or just get caught out on one of your grubby days, no makeup etc. Now this is something not saved for only the young, you can have issues years down the road. Feel blessed you learned your lesson early. I never wanted to be someone else, I wanted to be me..the young pretty me but you can only fight time just so long, everyone has to deal with aging if they are blessed with a long journey here on earth. God spoke to me when reading your blog that he knew ME (and all of us) before we were born in the womb and we are wonderously made, when He sees us He sees Jesus, how beautiful is that!

  11. Five years ago this was a theme song at a young girls retreat I was blessed to be a part of. Since then, I think it has become a favorite of not just the young girls that were there – but ME, and the other women who joined me. We all had one of those “that’s me” moments when we heard it. It seems to be a deep cry in the heart of females. But your encouragement to have that cry draw us back to God himself was so good. So right on. Something I hope you can share with the young women around you, before they spend years hurting!

  12. Gah! These blogs are all SO good! Everyone just speaks in tandem with what God is showing me! Stacy, thank you for being so honest and vulnerable! I love this! And I LOVE YOU my Sweet Friend!

  13. Stacy, Just got a chance to read your blog and loved it. I like it when you get to share from the deep places of your own heart instead of always having to help others share from theirs. There is a minister to women in you – so let her out all the time! You are beautiful, my friend.

  14. I was reading through this and Bethany Dillon’s song came to mind. I was going to post the lyrics for you, but low and behold, you’re already aware of them. Of a woman calling to GOD for recognition of her beauty.

    Have you read “Captivating” by John and Stasi Eldredge? If you haven’t, you really should. It’s all about how to fill the yearning for beauty (and all of those other womanly yearnings) with God. And how these feelings are not something to be ashamed of like the world would have us feel, but that they’re a mirror of the beauty of the Lord!

    I’m so glad others feel this way. Your post and the book I’ve mentioned are helping me to realize that there’s no shame in my yearning to be beautiful, in my yearning to be womanly and romantic. These are gifts from God, a reflectin of God and I should exhude Him in all things I do.

  15. I had forgotten about this song! It used to be one of my favorites!!!!
    What a strong story! Thank you for sharing it…I know i've felt that way.