Turn Off the Flow
posted on August 17th, 2009 / by Tirzah Warwick / 10 CommentsFor a moment the world stands still and the blood rushes to my head. My ears are ringing and I can’t think clearly but that doesn’t last long because all too suddenly the thoughts all come rushing in at once and I cringe inwardly thinking “Ugh! Goodness! Did I really say that?! Seriously! Why on earth did I say what I did? That was just a little too much information on my part! Do I always have to open my big mouth? Why can’t I just be quiet? Why can’t I talk less and listen more? Why do I feel the need to share my opinion so freely even though no one asked for it? Okay! Next time, for sure, I am not going to open my mouth!”
Sometimes I just want to bang my head in frustration as a result of this tongue of mine!
These are some of the thoughts and feelings that I know intimately as I often reflect back on the things I’ve said maybe as I lie in bed at night or I’m driving home from an evening with friends, a book club meeting or some other function.
You see, far too often I talk way too much. I am not a shy person, I am quite the opposite, I see myself as a friendly and open person. I love to meet people and make friends. I love to make people feel as welcome and as comfortable as possible. I love to be a friend! This is a good thing but often, in my eagerness to try and find common ground with others, I overcompensate by unintentionally diminishing their experiences by dominating the conversation with what I have to say about the matter or saying things that I should not have said and I don’t realize what I’ve done until it’s too late. I do this a lot and it’s something that I don’t want to do. I often struggle to find the right balance.
My heart has been crying out to the Lord about this praying, “Lord, I am so sorry when I do this to others! Help me, Lord, not to say things that diminish their experiences. Help me to not be selfish by dominating conversations …
Phillipians 2:3 – 4 (NLT) “Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.”
… Thank You, Lord, that You made me an outgoing, talkative person so that I can easily reach out to others. With all of my heart I want my conversation to be full of grace and seasoned with salt which heals, preserves and produces good flavor. (Colossians 4:6) Help me, Lord, not to say things that hurt my testimony but that what I say will be as a representative of You. (Colossians 3:17) …
Proverbs 10:19 (NLT) “Don’t talk too much, for it fosters sin. Be sensible and turn off the flow!”
… Thank You that You have provided a gold mine of instruction throughout Your Word so that I can diligently read, study and apply all that You say about the mighty power of the tiny tongue and the massive destruction it can cause or avert. ( James 3:1 – 12)
And when I mess up with this mouth of mine thank You that Your mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22 – 23) ~ and I have another day and another chance to be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19) ~ and gracious with my words. AMEN”
Psalm 19:14 “May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer”
I must turn off the flow too. For other reasons. But I need this leaky faucet fixed just as desperately.
God, I pray for Tirzah today. That she would hear Your Holy Spirit reminding her of her goals before she speaks. And that You would remind her she can never talk Your ear off. Show her who to pour all her thoughts into. Show me the same! IN JESUS’ NAME.
Tirzah, thank you for sharing your heart. I can totally relate. I use to be really bad at this, always wanting to share but not remembering to listen! I, like you, love to talk! :} But isn’t it great what happens when we listen and sometimes even when I have something to say I’ll wait..and just listen. God has also been teaching me the art of listening. It’s been really good. Thank you again, this is a good word :}
“Don’t talk too much, for it fosters sin. Be sensible and turn off the flow!”
Love how this is worded in the NLT!
I “like to think” that I have always been a pretty good listener…mainly for the fact that I was asked numerous times while I was a young adult if I had ever considered going into the counseling field because I listened well. But, I’m not puffing myself up here…quite the contrary…I believe I am considering out loud if that statement is really true.
As I’ve grown up and learned, I find myself walking away [at times] from conversations and asking myself “oh gosh, did I talk too much? did I not listen enough? did I interject too much? did I dominate the conversation or nor let this person share IN FULL what was on his/her heart?”
This is a great reminder to me that even if I believe I have something “wise or learned” to share, there is always a place and time for everything. We love to be heard and know that someone is willing to sit and listen to our hearts. I need to refocus my thoughts and heart and ask the Holy Spirit to make me aware of that on a daily basis…”and guide my words and thoughts to be pleasing to Him”.
This is a great post and something that all humans can relate to on one level or another. I know out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Your heart if full of wanting relationship with people so you share your heart quickly and freely. That is beautiful. You are a lovely gal, Tirzah, and I love the things that come from your heart! I pray my heart will be full of the love for the Lord and love for other people:)
Amen!
wow- this is such a great post! I struggle with the same problem! thanks for sharing!
First of all, I love your name! It’s beautiful!! I really want to know what it means!!
This is something I pray about often! I want HIS voice! I don’t want to be clanging cymbals without love! I want to speak with wisdom and purpose and passion!! I want to bless and pour out life! I pray these things sometimes when I’m sitting with someone!
However, I always get so excited about one thing or another and I realize I’ve just interrupted someone or got lost in my story!Every gift has it’s strengths and weakness’ and I have often thought, “Why in the world did I say that?!”
I’ve also been in awe of the opposite where I walk away from an encounter and think, “That was all you, Lord!”
So, somewhere between my giddiness and Spirit led conversation lies my gift of reaching out that can be an act of worship!
So, I love your life giving verses about turning off flow and letting my ears and eyes reflect care and my words be life giving!!!Thanks, TIRZAH!!:)
Tirzah, thank you for sharing this. I know that it’s something I deal with all the time and many of my friends find themselves doing the same thing. I love the verses you included. I think I’m going to print out a few of them and put them on my desk at work. It’s such a great reminder to that’s it’s OK to be who God created me to be, but it’s important to be disciplined with my words.
Thank you for writing this!
Stacy
PS – I LOVE the title!
Oh my Gosh,
I can relate, Thank you for writing this, holding your tongue is the hardest thing to do.
I’m glad to know I am not the only one who loses sleep from foot in mouth disease.
Although I know you Tirzah, and you are the sweetest most eloquent voice I have known.