God brought some incredible revelation to me during my second go-round at Gateway’s Kairos a little over a month ago. He had very specific issues He wanted to target, and throughout the three days I was there, those areas were made abundantly clear.

One of the rotten pieces of fruit on my heart tree that God has been trying to prune for quite a long time is gossip. Yep, that little ‘g’ word that doesn’t seem so ugly or sinful when we choose to use another moniker instead, like…oh, ‘sharing’. Kind of the same way we make lying sound less harsh by using the term ‘fib’.

During a time of corporate prayer at Kairos, we were asked to turn to a page in our binders where a list of generational sins were written for us to speak out loud, acknowledging and breaking sins specific to our family line. Before I even opened my book, God spoke that little ‘g’ word to me as if He was standing right next to me.

You see, I was raised in a very close family where up until a few years ago all the adult children lived relatively close to our parents. Sunday dinners were a main staple of weekends and all holidays were shared with one another. Because we spent so much time together, we knew most of the ins and outs of each other’s lives. Information about ‘who’ was doing ‘what’ was shared freely, along with everyone’s opinion of the act and what they would have done had they been in his or her shoes. If you did it, the entire family pretty much knew about it; even those mistakes you sort of wished would remain under the radar. But, we’re family…right?

Does this sound familiar to any of you?

What God began to show me as I got older – and I’m talking when I was in my late 30′s! – is that there is a fine line we walk between ‘sharing information’ about one another’s lives and indulging in the fine art of gossip.

Just a week ago, as I was spending time with Jesus on my backyard swing, God brought up Kairos and what He had spoken to me about gossip. I hadn’t really gone back and revisited the issue because I had broken that generational sin and it was now behind me. See the prideful set up here for a fall?

As I was reading in Proverbs, I came across these two verses:

Proverbs 13:3 – He who guards his mouth keeps his life, but he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

Proverbs 15:9 – The way of the wicked is an abomination, extremely disgusting and shamefully vile to the Lord, but He loves him who pursues righteousness (moral and spiritual rightness in every area and relation).

Instantly, God brought to mind a situation that had taken place just mere hours after leaving Kairos. That Saturday afternoon, our family had a meeting with my ex-husband for business that’s too convoluted to go into here. At the end of our meeting, with the kids out of earshot, my ex shared information about a conversation he had had with some family members back in California. He had questions about whether or not “this” was something I actually expressed to said family members. It was not the truth and I did set the record straight, but I left this meeting angry and wanting to call other family members just so I could vent, “Do you know what so-and-so said?” Well, I compromised. I only told one family member and disguised my intent by beginning the conversation with, “Oh, let me tell you about an interesting conversation I had with…” Who was I kidding? I knew exactly what I was doing.

It turns out that God was revisiting the little ‘g’ word, whether I wanted to or not. He showed me in His Word His thoughts about the mouth and wickedness…“will come to ruin”, “extremely disgusting” and “shamefully vile”. God is gracious, but He doesn’t pull punches when describing sin. These words left my stomach churning.

Gossip has two, distinct definitions. One refers to the act of gossip, while the other refers to the person who commits the sin.

• Gossip – idle talk, usually about other people’s private lives, especially of a disapproving or malicious nature.
• Gossip – a person who habitually talks about other people, usually maliciously.

Either way you look at it, gossip is ugly.

God has been trying to get my attention about this for at least the last five years. I’d come across scripture, or read an article in a magazine or hear a message delivered and know that God was speaking to me. Even worse, I’d be in a conversation where the flashing neon sign was hanging above my head with the words: “Warning! Gossip in the Air! Turn Back Immediately!”…and yet I’d still sit there, indulging in the deliciousness of letting my opinions be heard, while making myself feel better because at least I’m not doing the despicable thing the person I’m talking about is doing.

Unfortunately, I can’t shout from the rooftops that after any of these God moments did I repent and live a gossip-free lifestyle…quite the contrary. I’d just take the gossip test. I’d hear something about someone, I’d test my heart to see if I was ‘sharing’ or ‘gossiping’, and if the information fell into the correct category [which it usually did], I’d go and freely ‘share’ with the next person…but the decision never came without a pang of guilt.

Did that guilt – or Holy Spirit nudge – keep me from gossiping the next time around? Nope. I would still ‘share’, all with the pure intent of keeping the next person up-to-date. If I knew, how much worse could it be if one more person knew? even if the words “but don’t share this with anyone” closed our conversation?
And then there’s the gossip that goes one step beyond…you know, that conversation you intentionally steer to a certain subject just so you can spew your bitterness about said person, while covering the sin with the tasteful umbrella of ‘venting’. Who doesn’t feel the need to vent every once in a while? Isn’t venting necessary to purge our bitterness? to let it out before it eats us up?

Ahhh, but here’s the perspective that God has been trying to shift in me [taken from Proverbs 15]: Am I pursuing righteousness in every area and relation in my life?

• He didn’t ask some: the ones who deserve my respect because of how graciously they treat me.
• He asked every: especially those who have hurt or betrayed me with their words or actions.

God is asking me if I am ready to move beyond revelation and into real change.

Something I read a couple days ago really hit my heart and summed up my thoughts on receiving revelation versus the heart’s willingness to pursue real change.

“Matthew uses the Greek verb thelo. It’s translated “to will, to wish, to desire.” There’s another Greek verb that means almost the same thing. It is boulomai. But there is a difference. Thelo implies the action necessary to accomplish the desire. I don’t just want something. I go after it and get it. It is purposeful action toward a goal. Boulomai also means desire, but it does not imply I actually do something about it. There is no consequent action.

This small shift in meaning is the essential core of a lot of repetitive sinful behavior. Those of us who have been awakened to the realm of the Spirit know the difference between good and bad. We don’t usually sin in ignorance. We sin in defiance. We simply aren’t willing (thelo) to give it up. Yeshua has done all that needs to be done to rescue us from our tragic state of existence, but we aren’t buying. Why? Because we really aren’t willing to change. We want the benefits of grace without the pain and suffering of repentance. We want the Messiah without the blood. As Albert King used to say, “Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.” [skip moen]

So I ask you, if not the little ‘g’ word, then what piece of rotten fruit is God tugging on and ready to prune from your heart? Let’s thelo together and go after real change!

Babs Coppedge