The Front Porch
posted on March 19th, 2010 / by Penny Spurling / 26 CommentsA few years ago, when we were looking to purchase a house I told my husband “it has to have a front porch”. I love houses with a front porch, the kind that wrap around the whole house! He asked me, “Is that non-negotiable”? I gently smiled and said, “Yes! It’s non-negotiable”. In time we did find a house and it did have my front porch. It wasn’t the ‘wrap around the whole house’ kind of porch. But still, it is a house with a front porch.
You may be wondering why it was so important for me to find a house with a front porch. Well, it all goes back to the fond memories I have from my childhood. You see, growing up I would spend time almost every Sunday night after church hanging out with my family at one of our friend’s house. We would hang out on the front porch while our parents would sit and chat for what seemed like hours. We would play games, swap stories, learn how to jump over the bushes that were ever so close, and even play a little tag.
These nights were part of what would become “normal” in my life. One thing I also remember about those nights out on the porch is that there was no fine china set on a beautiful dining room table that had taken every ounce of Sunday afternoon to prepare so all would be perfect. There was no catered meal that cost a week’s salary, and most of all there was no sense of fear if someone found some dust on a mantel or end table. Laundry often sat on the staircase and if something did not go as planned no one seemed to care. These evenings were filled with conversations after the last “Amen” had been said, and most of the time we ended up snacking on popcorn and grape Kool-Aid.
The Lord reminded me of those fond memories just the other day as I was trying to drive in busy traffic. I had been thinking about my daughter who will be going off to college this fall. Then, all of the sudden I began to tear up, and then I began to cry uncontrollably. You know the kind… the “can’t breathe, can’t see, stuff coming out of your nose cry”. My first thought, after I determined I was not having some kind of emotional meltdown, was to call one of my closet friends. Without a thought as to what was going on in her day, I just started to dump all my thoughts and emotions on her. And how did she respond? Well, she did exactly what she always does! She listened to my fears; she heard my heart, encouraged me and reminded me that everything was in God’s hands.
As I thought of those precious moments, talking to my friend, immediately God took me back to the front porch all those years ago. I thought “that is what my parents were doing while we played”. They were talking and sharing with each other about life, kids, and their dreams. They were doing life together! They were sharing deep needs and holding each other accountable, encouraging each other to do all God had for them.
What I also realized was that, in order for those nights to happen, our parents had to make the decision that they were not going to live this life alone. They had chosen wisely to live out what the Bible teaches and do as it says. They chose to be vulnerable and care for one another’s burdens. My parents had taken advantage of the opportunity that God presented when He placed these dear friends in their lives. They chose not to worry about the cares of this world, and be more aware of the things our Heavenly Father gives. They chose to accept each other, without judging. They chose to not compare or envy what each other had or did not have. They chose to find time in their busy lives to drop it all at the mention of a need.
I know that we live in a busier time, with more technology than I will ever learn, and things are just a little more complicated. But what I have often wondered is, what would people say if they really knew our stuff? I am sure that times have not changed that much. One thing I do know is that those four couples, my parents and their friends, would NOT go back and change one thing. And by the way, even though they are no longer able to get together every Sunday night, they do make it a priority to vacation together every year. And they make sure to send the latest pictures of the grandchildren. Most of all, they still make it a priority to pray for each another; especially when troubles come and words like cancer or heart attack are shared.
It must make the enemy so angry when God’s children choose to walk out His word and bare one another’s burdens. I believe Satan can be most effective in our lives when we feel like we have no one we can turn to and we are all alone. It is in those times, especially those times, when we need to remember that God is right there whispering in our ear and telling us that we need to reach out to those friends who really care. In my own life I know how badly I have wanted to invest in people. Invite them over to my house with the front porch. You know, do life together! And I also know how many times I found myself thinking, “I don’t have the right furniture”, “what would I serve”, “my house is not perfectly clean”, or 25,000 other reasons why I couldn’t invite someone over to talk.
So I have decided that it’s time for me to take some risks; to go out on a limb and be real with what is on my heart and my desire to do life with my friends. I want what my parents have with their friends. I want to know that one-day when I look back on my life I will be surrounded with friends who know me and love me. That’s what was on my heart that day when I broke down emotionally on the side of the road; I knew I had to make a choice. Would I be vulnerable and reach out to a friend? Or would I hold it in? I’m so thankful I decided to pick up the phone, and I knew I had a real, life-long friend, who would be there in my time of need.
My prayer for you is that you are doing life with others who can be Jesus in the flesh to you. If not… please know that if you are ever in my neighborhood I invite you to come sit on my front porch for a little while. I make no guarantee that I will be wearing the latest fashion, or that my beds will be made and the clothes will all be put away. But one thing is for sure, I will pray with you, hold you accountable, and encourage you to be all that God has created you to be.
C’mon over,
Penny is married to John and mom to Megan (17) and Jake (14). She has been a pastor’s wife for 19 years. She loves coffee, mornings (the 5am kind) and spending time with her girlfriends. One of her favorite things to do is decorate. If you ask her, where she came up with her ideas she will tell you, “ I can’t create, but I can duplicate”. In her own journey to discover what God created her to be, Penny has found a passion to see women “duplicate” what the Father “created”. One women at a time.
Beautifully written Penny! I too remember many nights spending time at my friends parents houses. They would stay so late I would have to find a bean bag or couch to fall asleep on. The peace and comfort I felt as they talked and played "42" in the other room is one I will never forget. My heart yearns for those deep connections that our too busy lives often keep us from. I agree though…It's time to make time…It's so worth it! Thank you for sharing your heart, you're beautiful!
Love you sister!
Dear Penny,
Your front porch memories made me think of you … you are like a wrap-around front porch. You are warm, approachable, wanna-spend-time-with-her kinda' girl.
Thank you for cheering woman on to the heartbeat of life … living it with others, loving and being loved.
Love, Mary Jo
Penny! I love that since the first moment we became friends this has been your heart for people-to forget about what it looks like and just get together and do life. It's one of my favorite things about you-your ability to love without pretense and your heart for women, families-all of us! I love your obedience to the Lord in what is happening now–hold on friend! It's gonna be sooo good! love you~m
Wonderful devotional! I came to that conclusion also when I heard Beth Moore say in a Bible Study, "What are you trying to hide?" Then I realized, I shouldn't be worried about inviting people over to my house. I have what God provided and if I needed more, He would provide. Since then, I haven't really worried about what people thought!
Oh Penny I LOVED your writing today!!! And I too LOVE porches and one day pray I get one!!! As I was reading this one thing I thought is "I REALLY want you to be able to sit at My Table in the FALL! This is just for YOU!!! And I'd love to come and sit on your beautiful porch! I grew up so much like this Thank you for having me think back to that great time of my life!
You did a great job and can't wait to read more from you!!
I have tears streaming down my face because this post touched me so much. Thank you for sharing this. You are so right that we all get so consumed in the materialistic ways of this world that we forget to just "live it out" and be with our friends, enjoy their company with no worries. Thank you for the reminder and the beautiful front porch!
Penny,
Well written! While reading your article, I thought of my Granny who had a big wrap around porch. I would spend hours playing on it, lost in my own little world I created…such happy memories for me. I'm so glad you finally got your porch. As I have told you before, you were one of the first people we met at Gateway that made us feel loved and welcomed and I will never forget that. Thank you for sharing your heart with us this morning and for being willing to be shaped by the Father. Get ready to be blessed! Love you!
So fun to see you jump off this 'cliff'! You go girl. Well done and obviously warmly embraced by all who have read it. Your words and thoughts so beautifully reflect what is in your heart. I know I'm looking forward to some popcorn eatin', koolaid drankin', heart sharin' porch time soon! Love you!
Penny,
I don't know you personally but would love to know you someday. I loved your writing. It so reminded me of when my parents would come home and after church on Sunday night we would have homemade ice cream and well we just laughed and shared. I love that you can call a friend at a moments' notice and share and her listen and love. You are beautiful on the outside as well the inside. Thank you for sharing and I agree we need to all have those front porch times, even if we don't have a front porch!
Great job Penny!
I know that we appreciate that we are doing life with the Spurlings! The best part is that you are a few steps ahead of us and we can gleen from that wisdom.
Love it! This has been a theme in my own life. We all say, "We should get together" and never do. We are definitely in a season of just doing it in our own lives.
Thanks Penny
Penny, this is awesome! I love your humility and obedience to step out and want to point out with a big smile that you didn't write this just for you–it resonates with many of us! I long for this kind of "doing life together" as well–I don't have a front porch, and you've already seen the clean laundry on my staircase, so I guess we will have to meet on your front porch.
Keep on writing, friend, I know you have a lot to say!
Penny, I thank you too for your writing today! Brought back many wonderful memories of the many times our "back" porch was filled with our parents, while all of us neighborhood kids ran around the backyard catching lightning bugs and having frog races and waited for grilled hamburgers and hotdogs! Yep, one of favorite things to do ~ catch the critters and race 'em! Such a joyful time! Jumping for joy here at the thought of re-creating or "duplicating" as you say, the joys of times past and praying one day my little 5 year old will have these memories as well. No front or back porch now ~ or big yard to play in ~ nor the neighbors to really share these moments with ~ praying God will fill our lives with many hearts to share our lives with.
Penny Thank you for sharing that was so Beautiful brought back memories of my childhood of playing outside till dark playing games in the front yard when there was no cable TV or the technology we have now . I too have a front porch that I don't use enough makes we want to go sit out there right now ! Blessing's
Kim
"They broke bread in their homes (on their wrap-around porches?) and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people." Acts 2:46
Look at that…with your love for God and His people…you are duplicating what worked so beautifully for the early church. I love it! So glad you took a step of faith to write and share your passion with the rest of us. See you on your porch some time soon?
Penny you are amazing!! I cannot wait to read more. I am so glad that you are doing this and sharing real life situations with everyone. It is so important to be "real" than trying to pretend we are something that we are not. This world is full of people running around trying be something they are not. You were so honest and truthful in your writing. God definitely has his hand on you!! Love you!
Dear Joanna,
I LOVE how you always feed us scripture!
Oh Penny! You are such a front porch kind of gal! God ushers in that front porch setting in the sanctuary, at the dentists' office, in the church lobby–wherever you are, my friend. I have never been to your house, but I've been on the front porch with you, loved and blessed. Thank you for such a beautiful illustration!
P-, Great job on your first post! I know how much heart and effort went into the writing. And, I know that what you wrote is the real you, the you that everybody loves and loves to call you… friend. You've been my friend now for almost 20 years and I know better than anyone that you have such a heart for people and such a strong desire to have God use you in whatever way he chooses. May this first article lead to many more as your heart connects with others. Unleash the passion in you and roar for Jesus! It's time to bloom!
I love how when God is trying to teach us something He speaks it everywhere we turn. Thank you for being God's voice to me in this sweet blog.
Rebecca
I am a front porch kind of gal too! When we purchased our home I too told my husband that I really, really wanted a front porch. A wrap around porch is a dream but many surburban neighborhoods don't have that kind (although I have scouted our area and Hometown in NRH has some really great ones!) but that I wanted something where 2-3 chairs could sit with a small table for coffee, water or whatever. I am very blessed with relationship and a few that I can really be me with. That is a treasure and something that now that I have the real thing I don't want anything else. I know not everyone does and my heart is to be able to show that people. That they can have it too. That they can be real, do the ugly cry, open up, share the good, bad an ugly and be loved. Bless you and thank you for sharing your heart! I would love to sit on your front porch sometime.
Wow! Wonderfully written…I pray I can truly live this out.
So wonderfully written! This has definitely confirmed in me to pursue what I believe the Lord wants me to do…take risk with friends. Thank you for sharing!
Penny, Wow! You took me back to some wonderful and precious childhood memories of my own! I can totally relate because I, too, have memories that remind me of a simpler time when families and friends really did have time to just stop by to chat, eat some good food and make memories. What I love about your story is that since I've known you, it's your "down to earth" realness that I have loved but didn't know exactly the story behind it…now I do!
Thank you for being you, (cuz I love me some Penny) and for writing such a great blog. 
Hi Penny –
Hey girl…its been a long time! What wonderful memories you have and reminded me of my "front porch" times that were actually spent in the back yard around the fire pit. I thoroughly enjoy the opportunities to open my home, to have time together to visit, fellowship and pray together. God is so good! He blesses our time together…hope to see more of your writing…Penny, you are a truly gifted writer…Keep in touch!
Soooo, now that I've read this…I appreciate the popcorn and grape Kool-Aid party favors all the more! I didn't need to read this to appreciate the quality time and amazing fellowship with you and the other ladies "on the porch" because it was absolutely wonderful…but, it makes it all the more special to see your heart in it all. You're amazing and your geniune heart and willingness to be totally real without pretense is refreshing, and hopefully, absolutely contagious! Thank you, Penny!