Destiny In Bloom

The Fat Suit

The Fat Suit

posted on August 5th, 2009 / by Yvonne Munoz / 15 Comments

Have you ever seen that Sumo wrestler game where a couple of normal weight people wear larger than life fat suits and battle it out in the ring? It’s highly entertaining let me tell you! Well, basically that’s how I feel sometimes. I feel like a normal person in a fat suit and it’s a battle in my mind to see reality.

No, this is not a sob story of a little girl that grew up chunky all her life and is now facing traumatizing low self-esteem in adulthood because of it. Quite the contrary. Riding bikes, Girl Scouts, Camping, Riding Horses, Ballet & Jazz, Marching Band, boyfriends … and more boyfriends. It was all part of my agenda growing up. To be honest, it wasn’t until I became a Christian that I started getting a little insecure about being an overweight girl and began to lean on the comfort of food. I was leaning on the everlasting arms of things that made me happy like cheeseburgers and Taco Bell burritos after late night church services. Well this routine caught up with me all to quickly. During this time embracing my fatness was never an issue. I remember shopping at Sears in the “pretty plus” section of the store and thinking, I was “super special” to have a whole section just for myself.

Every once in a while I look in the mirror and have to take a 3rd and 4th glance as I realize I look nothing like how I “feel”. At some points in my life I’ve wondered did I hop on board “Charlie” (the train in Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood) and confuse the Neighborhood of Make Believe with reality? Don’t get me wrong, all my adult life I have struggled with weight … I’m like a 4 Star general when it comes to the battle of the bulge. However, it has never stopped me from believing there is something I CAN do about it.

But for the first time in my life I found myself in a state of depression and anxiety in the middle of a tremendous moment in my life where I was traveling and ministering literally all over world.

Hmmmmm… This seems off balance a bit don’t you think? The devil took the very thing I was most comfortable with as child that hadn’t really ever been a serious issue in my life and slapped me across the face with it. Why? I had opened the door and allowed my affections and soul to be satisfied with something other than the Lover of my Soul. As soon as I decided to walk through the door of opportunity and promotion I felt as if the red carpet had been pulled out from underneath me and a paparazzi of demons were mocking my fall. How did I get to this weight? Definitely not over night.

Everywhere I would travel and minister, I would have women walk up to me sobbing asking me to pray for them. Most of them saying how much of an encouragement I had been to them and how they looked up to me due to the fact that I didn’t let my weight keep me from pursuing my dreams.

Woah… wait, what!? You can almost hear the song, “Back to Life, Back to Reality” (by Soul II Soul) playing in the background of MY disgruntled “Whatcha talkin bout Willis!” look Arnold was so famous for in Different Strokes. Sorry if this dates me … but those of you who know the reference it’s because it is forever seared in the memories of your pop-culture knowledge.

Oh that’s right! What they are saying is that the phenomenal solo I just sang wasn’t what brought them to tears? It was my fat suit?!?! They didn’t care or know that by this time next year I will be 100 lbs lighter and that sucker will be gone. Oh the joy of denial. It took me realizing that my fat suit had become a permanent outfit along with the few added flutters of the heart that weren’t there before and some swelling of the legs and oh did I mention my knee pain. Plus all of a sudden I had interventions left and right from my Pastors and family. The fact alone that whenever I would fly, I had to ask for an extension belt to be able to buckle up was well … A Rude Awakening.

Okay all you skinny girls at this point of the story pick up your jaw from the floor and take a deep breath… life isn’t that bad after all is it? LOL! I love my skinny friends! I do! They look the way I feel most of the time, and the way I see myself in my head.
So at this point, something had to be done. I moved next door to L.A Fitness and the workouts and calorie counting began. Of course, I lost weight immediately and haven’t put back on the 38 lbs I have lost. But like everything in life that needs change, it’s a process. At this time I also renewed my vows with the precious Holy Spirit, a fire was sparked and a new Honeymoon of experiences in my life began. He took me to the scripture and showered me with these words:

2 Corinthians 3:17-18 “For the Lord is the Spirit and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom.
So for all of us who have had that VEIL removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord- who is the Spirit- makes us More and More like him as we are changed into His glorious Image.”

It takes my breath away thinking about it. I am Free in Him, free to take off or leave on this fat suit. Free to know that His love is for me with or without it.
However, in this freedom, I can be changed, renewed and transformed into His glorious image. What more do I want!

So friends, I choose to take it off … transforming my outward image. But I also choose to be changed by His spirit … being transformed on the inside to His image as well.

Here I go … off on an adventure with my Maker hand in hand in a makeover to be more like Him.

We could all use a make over adventure … my question is what kind is He taking you on?

Yvonne Munoz

Yvonne Munoz

15 Responses to “The Fat Suit”

  1. I am here for the support u need amiga. I’m so proud that you decided to take this step. But i luv u the way u are. I love the fact that no te importa lo que la gente diga. but wutever. Sos una chica especial that i hold dear to my heart. Luv ya!

  2. What can I say ur a magnificent women of God you inspire me and so many other ppl to have ur joy and spirit! So u know the revelation God gave me I see u in white pants white shirt in a size 6….and I feel like I need to help u out idk why but to make u fit to that size. Going to ur house making u exercise putting u in a diet and it will happen cuz I know that you really want to loose that weight and u are decided to do it! I will be praying for u for so many things u will c Gods will!

  3. You go girl!!!! I’m so proud of you! I love that you could love yourself no matter what, because sometimes I look at myself and forget my body is a temple and I’m a hotay in Gods image! I need an inside makeover! Bring it on Jesus!!! You are so encouraging lady!

  4. Woooow, this is sooo good. Took me back to when I was going thru the same situation a couple of years ago. A few, well many pounds overweight, the knowledge that I could do it but not until I completely relied on God and prayer was I able to do it. Good for you, I’m sure there will be people following your lead. But more importantly I wanted to let you know, in many a times it has been you and your amazing solos that have either brought me that much closer to God or help me express what I can’t in my own word. Thank you for been such a great role model and inspiration. I love you and wish you success, actually I declare success in loosing that fat suit in Jesus name and many more blessings upon your life.

  5. awesome yvonne! i’m standing and believing with ya girlfriend! we are all in some type of process and although it doesn’t feel good, look good and it may not seem good – He’s working it for our good! love ya lady!

  6. You are such an example of spirit lead leadership … obeying God, stepping up to the challenges He puts before you and then sharing it with others! This is no different! I have always known you to be bold and confident and hilarious (I don’t know how many ladies have peed their pants from laughing so hard when they get around you!) and….the ands could go on and on. I love that you’re on two transformation journeys bringing balance like an anchor to your soul. YOU are amazing … I’m so inspired by your life … no lie lady! What a gift to the body of Christ YOU are! I love you Amiga Mia por vida!

  7. Yvo,
    you’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve met. Its not due to any physical appearance or beauty mark but of your glowing heart. Your outrageous personality and voice and the Spirit living inside of you, outshines anything else. But now I’m seeing another attribute of yours and that is courage, because it takes a lot of courage to open up about something this. Keep going mujer!! Si se puede! en el nombre de Jesus. Mucho amore per una bella donna…

  8. Wow, you are so brave to open up to us this way. You always leave me speechless, when i read your blogs. I know that everyone can relate to this, because we all have insecurities and it may not be with weight but with other things. So i thank you because you have truly made me aware of things in my life that god wants to change and i’ve been putting it off. I want you to know that i am very proud of your decision, and will support you all the way!!! Like i’ve told you before, you are such a blessing to my life and i know to others as well. Thank you.

  9. Yvonne!!!!! thank you so much for sharing about your struggle and your journey. you inspire me! you are an amazing, beautiful, talented woman and i am glad to have the opportunity to know you and be your friend. i am so happy for you and all of the success you’ve had and also encouraged by your honesty & openness with your struggles as well. you don’t have it all together, but you keep pressing on to Jesus. that is the point!!! keep on rockin’ it, sista!!

  10. Wow! You girls are really getting deep in your writings lately! I LOVE IT! Thanks for being so transparent and allowing your weaknesses to be an inspiration to us. That’s what makes a true woman of God in my opinion–one who can recognize her imperfections in herself and be changed by a the perfection of God! Thanks for this post.

  11. “I also renewed my vows with the precious Holy Spirit, a fire was sparked and a new Honeymoon of experiences in my life began.” You have such a beautiful romance with the Lord! Oh and I can’t stop singing that Back To Reality song. ;) Thanks for this fun and inspiring blog. :)

  12. Just like Rebecca did at the beginning our week, you so appropriately and preciously share this struggle in light of the Holy Spirit…in light of God’s perspective. Unless we are a very gifted size 2, I think all women struggle, to some degree, with a fat suit of their own – even if it doesn’t look like a fat suit to friends or family.

    Jesus continues to show us women that we are not about the outside, about what the world judges. We are about the image He mirrored in us…His image.

    One day we will all be free of the cares of this world and our fat suits – YAY – but I love your reminder to renew my vows with the Holy Spirit and CHOOSE to be changed. Such a key point!

    I pray encouragement over you on your journey and look forward to hearing more about the changes you see – both on the outside and the IN!

  13. Love it!! I love the way you write, straight from the heart! You have an amazing spirit that people are drawn to. We serve such a good God! You are an inspiration to many!!:)

  14. I’m reading backwards. That is, I have blogs to catch up on here and the newest ones are getting read first. That means I just finished a blog about being REAL. And while I thought I had that one down, your blog proved me wrong. This was real. Really real. And it shocked me for a moment. I thought: “What do I do with this? What can I possibly say as an encouragement? I’ve gained some pounds since I’ve been married. I want to lose them, sure. But I don’t know that people have made my weight part of my identity, in their minds.” So guess what? That’s the real that you get from me. I maybe don’t really understand what that’s like for you. But I really do understand people tacking more onto my identity than Christ made it! I think we all do. And just like you, I want to be known for what He made me. And frankly, not much else. Whatever else I am, pretty or ugly – fat or skinny – popular or unpopular … it just doesn’t mean much. I just want to be known as His. Known for the way He works in and through me. Yessss, I really do.

    So thanks. For being really you.

  15. This is really good Yvonne. Thank you for telling it like it is.