The Fat Suitposted on August 5th, 2009 / by Yvonne Munoz / 15 Comments
Have you ever seen that Sumo wrestler game where a couple of normal weight people wear larger than life fat suits and battle it out in the ring? It’s highly entertaining let me tell you! Well, basically that’s how I feel sometimes. I feel like a normal person in a fat suit and it’s a battle in my mind to see reality.
No, this is not a sob story of a little girl that grew up chunky all her life and is now facing traumatizing low self-esteem in adulthood because of it. Quite the contrary. Riding bikes, Girl Scouts, Camping, Riding Horses, Ballet & Jazz, Marching Band, boyfriends … and more boyfriends. It was all part of my agenda growing up. To be honest, it wasn’t until I became a Christian that I started getting a little insecure about being an overweight girl and began to lean on the comfort of food. I was leaning on the everlasting arms of things that made me happy like cheeseburgers and Taco Bell burritos after late night church services. Well this routine caught up with me all to quickly. During this time embracing my fatness was never an issue. I remember shopping at Sears in the “pretty plus” section of the store and thinking, I was “super special” to have a whole section just for myself.
Every once in a while I look in the mirror and have to take a 3rd and 4th glance as I realize I look nothing like how I “feel”. At some points in my life I’ve wondered did I hop on board “Charlie” (the train in Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood) and confuse the Neighborhood of Make Believe with reality? Don’t get me wrong, all my adult life I have struggled with weight … I’m like a 4 Star general when it comes to the battle of the bulge. However, it has never stopped me from believing there is something I CAN do about it.
But for the first time in my life I found myself in a state of depression and anxiety in the middle of a tremendous moment in my life where I was traveling and ministering literally all over world.
Hmmmmm… This seems off balance a bit don’t you think? The devil took the very thing I was most comfortable with as child that hadn’t really ever been a serious issue in my life and slapped me across the face with it. Why? I had opened the door and allowed my affections and soul to be satisfied with something other than the Lover of my Soul. As soon as I decided to walk through the door of opportunity and promotion I felt as if the red carpet had been pulled out from underneath me and a paparazzi of demons were mocking my fall. How did I get to this weight? Definitely not over night.
Everywhere I would travel and minister, I would have women walk up to me sobbing asking me to pray for them. Most of them saying how much of an encouragement I had been to them and how they looked up to me due to the fact that I didn’t let my weight keep me from pursuing my dreams.
Woah… wait, what!? You can almost hear the song, “Back to Life, Back to Reality” (by Soul II Soul) playing in the background of MY disgruntled “Whatcha talkin bout Willis!” look Arnold was so famous for in Different Strokes. Sorry if this dates me … but those of you who know the reference it’s because it is forever seared in the memories of your pop-culture knowledge.
Oh that’s right! What they are saying is that the phenomenal solo I just sang wasn’t what brought them to tears? It was my fat suit?!?! They didn’t care or know that by this time next year I will be 100 lbs lighter and that sucker will be gone. Oh the joy of denial. It took me realizing that my fat suit had become a permanent outfit along with the few added flutters of the heart that weren’t there before and some swelling of the legs and oh did I mention my knee pain. Plus all of a sudden I had interventions left and right from my Pastors and family. The fact alone that whenever I would fly, I had to ask for an extension belt to be able to buckle up was well … A Rude Awakening.
Okay all you skinny girls at this point of the story pick up your jaw from the floor and take a deep breath… life isn’t that bad after all is it? LOL! I love my skinny friends! I do! They look the way I feel most of the time, and the way I see myself in my head.
So at this point, something had to be done. I moved next door to L.A Fitness and the workouts and calorie counting began. Of course, I lost weight immediately and haven’t put back on the 38 lbs I have lost. But like everything in life that needs change, it’s a process. At this time I also renewed my vows with the precious Holy Spirit, a fire was sparked and a new Honeymoon of experiences in my life began. He took me to the scripture and showered me with these words:
2 Corinthians 3:17-18 “For the Lord is the Spirit and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom.
So for all of us who have had that VEIL removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord- who is the Spirit- makes us More and More like him as we are changed into His glorious Image.”
It takes my breath away thinking about it. I am Free in Him, free to take off or leave on this fat suit. Free to know that His love is for me with or without it.
However, in this freedom, I can be changed, renewed and transformed into His glorious image. What more do I want!
So friends, I choose to take it off … transforming my outward image. But I also choose to be changed by His spirit … being transformed on the inside to His image as well.
Here I go … off on an adventure with my Maker hand in hand in a makeover to be more like Him.
We could all use a make over adventure … my question is what kind is He taking you on?