Destiny In Bloom

Somewhere Inside You She Lives

Somewhere Inside You She Lives

posted on December 31st, 2012 / by Bob Hamp / 38 Comments

Somewhere inside you she lives. The beautiful one, who is unafraid and unashamed. Somewhere inside you she sings. Or screams. Or whispers. She may be forgotten but she herself has not forgotten. Silenced perhaps. Hidden away beneath layers of life and circumstance. But she is in there somewhere.

The war against her has been vicious and unrelenting, perhaps sometimes subtle. Either way, vicious or subtle, the war is always to steal from her all that she was made to be.  The war will test her and surprise her. If the battle can convince her to hide, to run, or to self-protect, the tide turns against her. Hard on the outside, a false safety or a false front, she runs from the battle.

The fear of the screaming in the dark. The words that confuse and shame. How could he say that? How could he do that? How could she not see the tear rolling down her cheek. The war rages all around and tries to steal from her all that she was made to be. Year after year after year after year. She hides. How can she keep the pain from soaking in?

She becomes strong (or does she?) She learns how to be smarter than the others. She learns how to be harder than the others. She learns all the ways she can be stronger than anyone else in the battle. Her brains. Her body. What to do, what not to do, all carefully calculated to provide a safe passage through. Or. Is it the death of her?

When she was little she danced when no one knew. She sang when it was in her heart. She looked joyfully at her big eyes in the mirror, and had yet to hear the voice of self-criticism. She danced again. When she was little she cried unashamedly, and laughed till she snorted. This made her laugh more, even when the boy heard her. When she was little, she had yet to be betrayed, and she had yet to betray herself. When she was little she lived.

The war against her has taken its toll. She is too tired to dance. Or too ashamed, it is hard to tell the difference.  The ways she protected herself, she now needs to be protected from. Her walls keep out others, but they also keep her in. Locked tightly behind her own clever strategies, she hides. She hides from him, and she hides from herself. She hides so well, she cannot find herself.

But somewhere inside you she lives. The beautiful one who is unafraid and unashamed. She sings, still, whether you listen or not. She cries whether you listen or not. Somewhere inside you she lives. Hidden away beneath layers of life and circumstances, she is hoping that you will care for her like the others did not. She is hoping you will introduce her to the One who made her.

She is hoping that you will be the one who takes care of her. She is hoping that you will hear her sing, and invite her to dance again. She is hoping you will not join the war against her. She is hoping that you can discover what she needs and help her find it. She is hoping that you will pull down the walls and introduce her to the One who made her. She is hoping that you will play with her. And she is hoping that you will let her tell you who you are too.

Somewhere inside you, you live. Come out and play.

38 Responses to “Somewhere Inside You She Lives”

  1. WoW!!!!! No words.

    Thank You Pastor Bob! :)

  2. Exemplary Bob! It is printed and on my refrigerator right now where it will stay until I can finally, fully, come out and play! Thanks friend. Donna

  3. Oh my! This was incredible!

  4. Love. This is truth. Thank you ;)

  5. Oh my gosh that is awesome!

  6. Lovely. I was attempting to run ahead of you to guess who She might be; She who was sold in sex trafficking or She who had been neglected and abused by the those who don’t know love, but you had me arrive at a destination bearing the name of the attentive reader. Lovely.

  7. oh, how precious this is to me. I want 2013 to be the year that person I was created to be before life happened fully makes her entrance :) thanks friend.

  8. Year after year after year she was hidden. Stuffed in a box, along with her hopes and dreams. But not too long ago that box got busted open. And there she was. Wow. I almost didn't recognize her. After all she was hidden by a very hard, cold outer shell. But she lives. She's telling me who I am. And she sings again.

  9. I just wrote this deeply intricate comment as soon as I finished reading this. It just flowed. And then God stopped me and showed me that it was more than a comment, it was my starting point for something I've been struggling to write this month. So even though I have a ton of thoughts running around me about this very beautiful piece of artwork of yours, I shall simply say, "My comment will be seen in February."

    But I will leave this: The deepness of the well within you is such an invaluable treasure to us who are blessed by what you share. You have a way of seeing and hearing and thinking that is so uniquely you, richly wrapped by the heart of God. He has gifted you with this ability to safely invite others to discover who they are … to come out and play.

    love.Love.LOVE. this.

  10. LOVE this Bob…. Feels like you wrote my story. "Hidden away beneath layers of life and circumstances….hoping you will introduce her to the One who made her." Thanks to you Bob and Gateway Church, Freedom Ministries and Ps. Nancy, my walls are coming down & I'm dancing, singing and playing like never before! Thus the need for sock monkeys :) )

  11. How do you know these things? You're a dude. That's amazing.

    And PS–I still snort when I laugh. :)

  12. Oh…oh…my…we are teaching a 5 week Freedom class for our women's ministry. With your permission I'm going to read this to introduce it. I want this to be the very foundation, motivation and focus of what we do in this class.

  13. mm!! Pretty amazing!

  14. A beautiful dance of descriptions and a wonderful orchestra of words. The voice you help give to the "Hidden" is wonderful. No longer will the one lost in us be forgotten.

  15. Welcome Samalee, you are in excellent company!!

  16. Thanks Babs, can't wait til February, but I love your engagement NOW!!

  17. Sock monkeys are a much thinner layer than life and circumstances… and MUCH thinner than self-protection!! Thanks Kay!

  18. Permission Granted…and anything else I can do to help.

  19. Hey PW, nice to see you over here on Destiny in Bloom. That's quite an orchestral response as well, thanks for the musical feedback. What's the word on that book of yours?

  20. Me and this chick have been on a journey together erasing the lines that have separated me from her. There have been thin barely there marks where I could still see her and then there were bold lines drawn where she dared not cross. One of those "bold" marks was what we discussed that night at freedom training. Our (mine and her) journey, this magnificent journey, although I am fully aware that it started many many years ago; this journey out of the cave, back home, this journey to finding my way out of the lies I believe, the hurts, the withdrawing from others and myself started back in 2008, it has been one of the most amazing journeys ever. Reading this post Bob, I seriously could not have worded it better myself. I remember as a young-er mom saying to my husband Tom that I didn't even know who I was anymore. I could not find myself. I got lost somewhere between marriage, kids, housework, and life stresses, the me that I knew was buried some where underneath it all. After starting this journey to finding me, I realized that the "me" I thought I was looking for was not the actual me that I was created to be. That my ideas of who I was we so different from who He says I am. I have to say I am pretty impressed with how the Lord has created and designed me and well gosh darn-it I like me a lot! I loved reading this post, a lot! It serisouly made me hit the pause button on life and reflect on the adventure I have been on with the Lord and how amazing, faithful, loving, and God He has been in my life. #FreedomChangesYourThinkingandInTurnChangesYourLife

  21. Soooo gooooood! Thank you…

  22. I snort laugh too :)

  23. He knows this because he has been given a precious gift most men are not given. Eyes. The eyes of God. For moments at a time Our Creator showed him visions of what what we look like to Him. Pastor Hamp was given the gift of looking at women and being in awe of the Magnificent Planner. He was shown how very much the Lord cherishes his daughters. How we have been blinded to our worth and our futures. He travels everywhere wrapping us in a cloak of truth the power of which proclaims our very existence as women magnifies the Glory of God. Not the least of blessings is that once we are dressed in this cloak we can never cast it off, because there is no lie greater than God's Glory or His love.

  24. This made me cry and think of myself! job well done.. love. LoVe.|0<e.looovvvee.LOVVE. this.

  25. Love this– so well said!

  26. She who chose abortion, because someone told her it was a good idea. She who has lived with the guilt and shame, everyday, since she laid on the table. She who can't talk about her grief at the lost of her child, because society says "abortion" is okay.

    I don't know you Pastor Bob… but this article is amazing. I'd love your permission to share it with our associates who counsel those impacted by abortion. We are a Christian association of pastors, peer and professional counselors assisting those emotionally effected by a past "choice"!

    You can email me at: stacy (at) arininc.org

    Of if there are women/men reading this and hurting from a past abortion, you can find help here: http://abortionrecovery.org

  27. I too am working to allow God to heal and allow my little girl to become whole in Him.
    We will pray for each other.

  28. Stacy, of course you can use it in any way that will help your people… I would also love to connect you and them to the Freedom Ministry resources we make available. Videos and Audio resources are on this page. http://gatewaypeople.com/ministries/freedom-kairo
    You may also e-mail back at bob.hamp@gatewaypeople.com if I can help in any other way.

  29. Wow this is amazing, this is my first visit to the site thanks to a friend, but seriously, great stuff.

  30. BEAUTIFUL!!!

  31. Bob, curious, what inspired you to write this?

  32. I wrote a blog about my inner princess and locking her away a few days ago too. :) "Confessions of an Awkward Snow White" on http://www.shewithunveiledface.com. Exactly what this is saying, only in my own words. Love it!

  33. "The ways she protected herself, she now needs to be protected from. Her walls keep out others, but they also keep her locked in…" SO POWERFUL. you have helped so many be "unlocked", from this daughter that was unlocked- THANKS…

    BY FAR, my most fav thing you ever put into words…… :)

  34. "The ways she protected herself, she now needs to be protected from. Her walls keep out others, but they also keep her locked in…"SO POWERFUL. you have helped so many be "unlocked", and from this daughter that was unlocked- thank you…

    By far, my fav thing you have ever written…..

  35. Crystal, I was going to write out a teaching and it seemed boring to me…. I thought this said what I wanted say better than a bunch of explainy words… the mind does not usually speak well to the heart, and I wanted to reach hearts that feel trapped. In some ways it is the story of all of us. Thanks for asking.

  36. BOB!!! I still snort when I laugh too hard!!! Great Job! Now if we can all fight for each other and really love those unique differences that are so precious! Love this gonna go dance in the living room now! :)

  37. Many times in my life, I've had people come up to me and tell me I'm beautiful. I know they most likely are commenting on the outside, but what I really want them to mean is that they see beautiful on the inside, that they see all those things you wrote. That they see at all. God has given you amazing eyes, you see what most of us miss. Oh, to come out and play! Nothing sounds sweeter!

  38. blown away!!