Prince Charming
posted on October 16th, 2009 / by Stacy Webb / 21 CommentsOne amazing husband, six children, one son-n-law, two grandbabies, two dogs and a hermit crab named Captain America. Life is busy! God is faithful!
One afternoon my daughter came wandering into the kitchen complaining about being bored. I reminded her the dryer was full of towels so she went to the laundry room and began folding. A few minutes later my son came bouncing down the stairs and collided with the living room. I asked him to pick up his shoes, hang up his jacket and put up some other items of clothing that were flung across the room. Oh, if you could have seen the questioning look on his face. He looked me straight in the eye and with a wrinkled brow asked, “Why do I have to do everything? No one else is doing anything!”
What??? Oh no he DID’NT!! I looked straight back at him and said, “Number one, your sister’s in the laundry room folding towels for me right now. Number two, even if she was sitting in front of the TV eating ice cream, you still have to do what I ask you to do.”
I hadn’t even finished that sentence when the Lord started talking. I just stood there watching as my son reluctantly obeyed and listening as the Holy Spirit revealed truth.
(JOHN 21:22) Jesus said to him, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.”
Jesus was saying to me, “don’t worry about what happens to him, what I do for him, what I bless him with or don’t bless him with. Take your eyes off him and get them on me. FOCUS on Me! Quit worrying about what he is or isn’t doing and you do what I tell YOU to do! Quit worrying about where he is or isn’t going and YOU FOLLOW ME!”
Or maybe He was just saying this to me as I stood there receiving the download. Looking back, I believe this could be applied to every area of my life but God took me straight to my marriage that day.
So many times I had cried out to God, “Why do I have to do everything! He’s not doing anything!” Each time, as I expected God to fix the situation by fixing my husband, I was amazed with what God revealed to me – about me.
This time God showed me my eyes were on my husband and not on Him – again! See, when I focus on my relationship with God and let Him have full access to my heart, He perfects that which concerns me (Psalm 138:8).  I had taken my eyes off God and put them on what my husband was or wasn’t doing. I knew from past experience that if I didn’t refocus, what was concerning me would begin consuming me. I would start seeing everything from a negative perspective – again.
This is one deception I’ve always had to be aware of. I remember early in our marriage my husband diagnosed me with Prince Charming Syndrome. I certainly didn’t like hearing it but the symptoms spoke for themselves. I had set our marriage and my husband up for failure on more than one occasion. He could never live up to my expectations. When he fell short, I wasted no time pointing it out and just as quickly expressed my disappointment.
I remember thinking everything would be great if only he would …  Now I know God had been saying, “Stacy, don’t worry about what he’s doing, you follow ME!”
Of course, I had not been obeying or following God. How could I? After all, I was way to busy obsessing over how to make the beautiful mural of my marriage I’d painted in my mind a reality. This fairy-tale I had conceived and couldn’t live without preoccupied my every moment. The more perfect the fairy-tale picture in my mind became the more imperfect my reality became. One might say I was living in La-La-Land.
I remember times when I would come home from such powerful prayer meetings, walk in the door and immediately become frustrated because things were in disarray and I would blame my husband. If only he … Looking back it’s funny how the little things were so big at the time.   It really didn’t matter what I saw when I got home. What mattered was my response to what I saw. There were so many missed opportunities for God to work and love through me.
Again, the Lord had been saying, “It doesn’t matter what he’s doing or not doing. You follow ME! You obey ME!”
I was reminded of when Samuel was sent by God to anoint David. Samuel, because he looked at the outward appearance, wanted to anoint the wrong guy. Just like Samuel, I had been using my natural eyes and expecting to see the spiritual. The Lord told Samuel … “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7) God didn’t just see something good in David, he saw what He had deposited in David. I’m excited about seeing the deposit that God has placed on the inside of my husband and watching the plans He has for us and for our family unfold.
I’ll admit it was hard for me to do what God told me to do and not see any change in the situation. (At least not at first, anyway.)  I had to learn not to base my obedience on results. It didn’t matter what I saw. I had to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). I had to take my eyes off me, off my expectations, off what my husband was or wasn’t doing and put them back on God and follow HIM!
If only I had listened to God during those years and walked in love instead of demanding my own way, I could have avoided so much turmoil.         (1 Corinthians 13:5 NLT) “love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.”
How beautiful it is when we get passed those early years and God’s restoring and healing power erases the scars.  However, isn’t sharing our testimony used in overcoming the enemy? God’s no respecter of persons and what He did for us and what He’s STILL doing for us, He’ll do for others. Not that I want to live in the past, but I am encouraged when I look back and see God’s amazing faithfulness (even when we weren’t faithful). I love Him so much for carrying us, loving us in spite of us, and NEVER giving up on us.
I see God in my husband more now than ever.  To look where we started and to see where we are. God is so good and so faithful!!! Prince Charming Syndrome?! HA!! I laugh at that now. WHY? Because, God gave me my Prince Charming after all!
“He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20)
Stacy is amazed at the glory of God and his faithfulness in making so many prophetic  words and dreams come to pass.  She is married to Monty, her wonderful husband of 14 yrs. They have  six children and two grand babies (God has Blessed them with the gift of adopting four of their children). Stacy loves to spend time with Jesus and journal all the marvelous things He says to her.  She has such a heart for women and cherishes those ministry opportunities. God is overwhelming.
So true!! This is a great message for wives especially. Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart with us!
That was SO good! thanks so much for putting it out there, I was totally blessed by it!
Stacy, This blog is fantastic! Every wife needs to allow these truths to reign in their marriage! I’ve been married 35 years – only because I finally allowed these truths to reign in mine. Thank you for sharing!!
Great insights…even for those of us who are single!
Oh, Stacy – this says so much! Even though I’m a widow, there are many times I just get my focus in the wrong place – on the low-balance checkbook, on the friend who’s sick, on our Nation’s plight, etc., etc. This sure brings it all back to center – to HIM! Beautifully done, habibi!
Stacy- I have to say I can fully relate to your past story. This is how I used to think too, until God came and changed my heart. Taking the focus and requests off my husband and placing it where it began in the first place- with God. Thanks so much for sharing! I love being married to my Prince Charming too!
Stacy that is awesome. I go through the same thing with our kids. I focus on what they’re not doing and it frustrates me. I am going to refocus on God and let Him change me and not worrying about me changing my kids!
Thanks.
Hi Stacy. I’m writing from Lima-Peru. Yes…I do love Destinyinbloom as well. Regarding to your post, it is what happen to me rigth now. I’m single and the younger Christian at home (Dad is 60 and Grandma 85). So, there is no husband yet but poor people around me when I press so hard in having everything well done. Reading your post has help me to understand that is not for me to become “messy” as to not bother with them while God is “at work”. To allow God to do a work in them by me resting…I still praying for my older Sis Lourdes who’s not jet a believer, I hope like you have learned to be more focus in God, not in what I don’t agree. After all Im’ sure that my God use every single crumb to fix every Home, He does that would take thousand years in a day. I know that day is about to come, I know now that if I focus on Him I will see it. Thank for the courage. Great Post.
ahh! This is so funny, it’s like you’ve been reading my journal! And I have to always be aware of this too- because I do really good at not holding a grudge and not becoming irritated when the place is a zoo and I’m running around like a crazy woman..and , oh, he’s watching tv or on the computer. I get right back into old habits! Walking around, making sure he sees just how busy I am! This is SO good for me!! Who cares what he’s doing…I just need to follow Jesus!!! And believe the best in Him and let God work it out!! Just follow Jesus! Thank you.. : }
Stacy–such a great word. How wonderful and blessed our marriages would become if we would focus on God…if we would realize we’re in this together and not against one another. I pray many would be encouraged by your honesty and will get a fresh revelation of what marriage should be through our Father.
Thanks Stacy for sharing. God has blessed us with great christain hubbies in our life and I thank him everyday! Great message.
Timely reminder. I found myself in a comparison this morning. Knew I needed to get out of it. And used your words as a stepping stool to climb out of the hole quickly.
Now I’m on the Rock. Standing on His truth. Knowing that I only know what He has for *me* today. Knowing that what He says is all that matters.
Thank you for sharing, Stacy. I think most of us go through this at some point. :0) Isn’t it funny that we try to play Holy Spirit Jr.? As if WE really know what needs to change in the other person? Funny how we want grace and encouragement but sometimes are so reluctant to give the same away. I’ve found this to be true not only in my marriage, but with my children as well. Thank you for speaking TRUTH, Stacy. You are so precious!!!
great blog! thank you so much!
I think you’ve read the mail of many a wife. If one hasn’t traveled down this a couple hundred times or two, they might be telling a little, white lie.
God is so good at using His sons and daughters to remind us of who we are in Him and our role as His son or daughter.
You’ve been that person today. Reminding us of this important truth: Keep our eyes on HIM, not on him.
Hilarious and so true! Loved this entry so much. I wrote a similar one on my blog. Seems like this is the week to be reminded to get our needs from God and not man. So good!
Stacy, that was awesome! You put things so perfectly. God speaks through you so much! What a wonderful and obedient vessel you are.
mmmmm…nothin’ like a tasty chunk of truth!
It just melts in my mouth
Stacy,
I loved THIS! Actually I LOVE all Stacy stories. Can’t wait for “MY sequin wedding in Vegas”
You are an amazing daughter of the King with a powerful testimony … what a great weapon for God those testimonies are. Keep sharing His stories in your life. You are an inspiration to many! Thanks for writing for our DIB readers! And keep writing!
Great LOVE!
~Ris
Such a good blog. I feel like since i just read this I so desperately need to put this into practice! Thanks for sharing!
Stacy!
Thank you for hitting home! It’s so humbling to reveal our struggles, but Satan doesn’t want anyone to realize that through it we overcome! So powerful! Just as we set up our husbands to be perfect charming, we set ourselves up to be perfectella and turn into wifezilla in the process! He is whispering such a refreshing anointing to our generation thought as we expose these struggles, He covers them and fills our gaps!I remember when I was trained by example to wear the perfect mask and it just left me hopeless, so I threw it away! Then, I realized everyone else was begging to throw theirs away too!!
I totally unknowingly set my husband a pedestal doomed to failure! He was such a prince and my former life of abuse only made me adore him more, but the weight of perfection is heavy! It was hard to focus on God first when prince worship was right before me! I didn’t follow as hard after my first love and accepted that I was no longer worthy to walk with the King as closely anyways! There came a day when my world crashed into a million pieces and when I returned to my first love, He gave me back a real flesh and blood soulmate and best friend!! I love Him dearly, yet his faults aren’t mine to be shaken by!! Your words touched my heart!