It was a sacred moment, and I didn’t even know it. Like a rite of passage, or some evangelical Bar Mitzvah, these seasoned young believers had gathered around their mentor, ready to receive the blessing and the commission. I was a last minute addition, mostly because I was always hanging around, but also because I had been allowed into this meeting. The question was going around the room, like a communion cup. The question seemed to stir deep thought. Each young man wanted to give the right answer, the answer that most indicated they knew God, and were ready to take the baton, and run the next leg of the race.
The question, “What do you want out of your life?”, seemed simple to me, until I heard their answers. Answers like, “I want to serve God”, or, “I want to come to the end of my life and hear God say He is well-pleased.” “I want to be known as being like Jesus.” Wow!! These guys were really amazing. They had walked with God far longer than I. I had never thought of any of those answers. And my turn was rapidly approaching. How could I give an answer like these guys who had all been raised in church?
And then it was my turn. Feeling fairly conspicuous, I fumbled around a bit, and then I dropped this deeply spiritual response.
“I want … to be … ummm … happy.” There it was. In all my selfish shallowness. Dwarfed by these spiritual giants, all I could come up with was, I wanted to be happy. They all turned and looked at me, as an awkward silence hung over the room. Then one of them spoke.
“Well, yeah, I do too,” one mumbled.
“Of course I would like that also,” another said sheepishly.
One by one they all chimed in, verbalizing their desire for the same thing. Apparently I was on to something. What I didn’t realize was that this desire is common to all mankind because we are all made for pleasure. Our problem is not that we are too inclined to seek pleasure. Our problem is that we far too often settle instead for comfort.
Pleasure is what we experience when we step into the fullness of those things for which we were created. It is the sensation of being fully alive. It can come from an activity or an achievement. It can be a physical sensation, or an emotional experience, and at it’s root, pleasure is a spiritual experience.
Comfort on the other hand is when we settle for less than aliveness, or even escape from the realities of life in activities which distract us, counterfeit true pleasure, or numb us from experiences we would prefer to avoid. Comfort may seem pleasurable for a season, in the avoidance of pain, or even in the pleasing sensations which accompany comfort activities.
Neither can be defined by a specific activity. Pleasure or comfort is more about the function of the activity than it is about the activity itself. One person may find comfort in eating, while another may find comfort in starving. Both are running from true pleasure.
True pleasure can sometimes be accompanied by discomfort. A runner who presses on through “the wall” and feels the exhilaration of overcoming perceived limitations can experience pleasure. To really lay hold of aliveness, sometimes we must subdue our appetite for comfort. Hebrews 12:2 tells us that, “for the joy set before Him, Jesus endured the cross.” What we see here is that real joy is not the absence of pain but the presence of life. To unleash life into humanity Jesus overcame the natural tendency of His soul to escape difficulty.
I have seen many people give in to the trap of completely giving themselves over to their most comforting behaviors and calling it freedom. These people may never discover their true identity hidden behind these comfort habits. They may never experience the genuine pleasure of the defeat of their lower nature as they discover their higher nature.
Pleasure and comfort are about identity and attachments. When we live out of our identity our pleasure grows. A dancer translates rhythm into movement, a singer digs deep and touches his own heart, and in so doing touches ours, or a scientist finds the key and opens up new possibilities. Each of us, in discovering and expressing who we are finds the pleasure of God. When we attach to the source of life, and it is expressed through us, pleasure is our experience.
Psalm 16:11
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand .
We are all stirred by the famous quote from the runner, Eric Liddell, immortalized in the movie, Chariots of Fire. “…when I run, I feel the pleasure of God.” Our pleasure is increased when we connect to His pleasure.
Comfort is what we seek, when we fear, or are mastered by discomfort. It is the opposite of connecting to God’s pleasure. Fear, difficulty, discomfort, all these things can send us in search of what we sense we are missing. Made for pleasure, when we do not experience the fullness of this we begin to shrink back. We don’t feel as alive as we used to, and we settle for comfort. Comfort food, comfort activities, now, the same activities that express life, can also suppress it. The danger of comfort lies in the way it can deceive. As we settle into comfort we can lose sight, or awareness. This is what comfort does. It reduces unpleasant sensations, and with that, it robs us of the benefits of difficulty. The fruit of comfort is numbness.
Numbness always leads to discomfort, sending us again in search of more comfort. This is the root of addiction, and other crippling mindsets. Happiness does not come from avoiding pain, it comes as we defeat pain, on the way to becoming who we were created to be.
Fear not. God is not only with us, He is for us. He didn’t create us so that we could suppress the sensation of being His creation, but so that we could embrace it. Embrace it, enjoy it, and express it. What if He really created us so that we might experience pleasure at His right hand forever? Maybe wanting to be truly happy wasn’t so shallow after all.
Wow! This was amazing! It has me thinking on a new level today. To not just seek comfort and be satisfied, but to go for pleasure in who God made me to be, which might mean pain along the journey. I absolutely love this and will be thinking on this for a while! Thanks, Bob! May you truly feel the pleasure of God in seeing the fruit of your writing. God bless you, friend.
Lots to ponder this morning! So desiring to experince true pleasure as I "slip Into thefullness of thos things for which I was created". Remebering "joy is not the absence of pain, but the presence of life". Awesome! Thnaks!!!
I love this. This summer has been especially difficult for my family, and the Lord brought us through the pain in a way I never imagined. He is SO good and happiness on this side of it is sweet. I never thought of it as "defeating" pain, but I love that thought! Thanks for sharing!
This was one of the best articles I have ever read! It was totally impacting, thank you so much for sharing with us BH! You rock and I'm so glad you're part of Destiny in Bloom!
This is perfect to read the day after Brady Boyd's message at Gateway yesterday about the confident cowgirl! Today I choose to be exactly who He created me to be … happy, kinda weird, and fabulous!
"…real joy is not the absence of pain but the presence of life." You nailed it, Bob. Thanks.
Amazing! Thanks for the insight into pleasure vs. comfort!
Thanks Bob, for sharing in what every reader struggles with in some way. I’ll be praying that God reveals to me what areas of my life are true pleasures from Him, and which ones are comforts masking hidden emotions that need to be uprooted and pulled out of my life so that I might walk in all the glories He has for me! Bless you, your family, your talents, and your life!
-Lindsey Crowe
"Happiness does not come from avoiding pain, it comes as we defeat pain, on the way to becoming who we were created to be."
Pastor Bob, I experienced this first-hand this past weekend!! It is so true. I tried numbness and comfort for years, subconsciously, then tried numbness and comfort for years, consciously. It only left me hungry and dissatisfied. Then I did things God's way… did "the hard stuff"… stared pain right in the face… and after 33 years of pain, finally defeated it!
I was created to be "Daughter." I finally get it. Thanks for sharing your insight with us!
Bob, you got some powerful thought-provoking stuff here. My brain will get a work out trying to understand WHY comfort and pleasure never seemed to be different to me before! Good Job!
This is the true meaning of our destiny in bloom. I don't even think I could pinpoint one good thing in here because it is all good!! Wow! Thank you, Bob.
I read this first thing this morning and have been thinking about it all day. I guess if I was going to be honest, I was first struck by this when you said some people find comfort in eating while others find comfort in not eating. And now I am evaluating so many other areas in my life where I may be choosing comfort over pleasure. Anyway, I love it and will probably go repost this now.
The Lord told me once: "Seeking comfort from food is like finding a penny on the ground, while seeking comfort from me is like finding a $100 bill on the ground." Intellectually I can understand this, but spiritually and emotionally I've never felt that "finding a $100 bill" feeling when trying to seek comfort from God.
Now I understand that he's not talking about a one-time comforting of a sad or stressful situation, but that he's talking about a lifestyle of actively pursuing and fulfilling the purpose he has given me. What a difference this new insight is going to make in my life!
Bob, you hit on something so intrinsic to us. Yet you came to it in simplicity, "I just want to be happy." Isn't it amazing that some of the most complex of questions can be opened up with a simple declaration?! I love the way your sentence brought forth so much contemplation of where I am and where I want to be. Thank you, dear friend!
Dale Mixon
This is amazing—I've had a lot of "stepping out of my comfort zone" moments, and a lot of pain–and this was the inspiration that I needed to keep going forth in God's grace–"Joy is not the absence of pain-but the presence of life" And "happiness doesn't come from avoiding pain-it comes as we defeat pain on the way to becoming who we were created to be". You so hit the nail on the head and I am going to be reading this article over and over for a few days—Such food for thought—thank you so much! Nadelle Payne
So, this evening I was struggling..and have been struggling with addiction. Every night that I resist it, God has uplifted me and heard my effort. Tonight I was in search of help…reassurance, something to help me carry the baton…the Lord sent me to google where I found this article, the first article I clicked on. You have helped me to defeat one more night, God truly worked through you. Have a good life
you helped mine for just one day, but that one day is one battle won.