If by chance you get cut off while driving by a “not-so-talented” driver and “not-so-nice” words come flying out of your mouth (while your children are listening), please by all means … apologize .  Now if you’re a woman and it’s your “special week” of the month and in hormonal eruption you lash out on your spouse, please by all means … apologize. But when your heart queues you to go after God with all your heart because you know change is on the horizon, don’t look to the right or to the left, obey your heart … no apologies necessary!  Don’t apologize for who you are in God or where you’re going in Him. The less you apologize the more people will have confidence in following you as you follow God.

~Proverbs 29:25 (Amplified Bible)

The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever leans on, trusts in, and puts his confidence in the Lord is safe and set on high.

~Proverbs 29:25 (The Message)

The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.

I wish someone had told me this a long time ago; simply when to apologize and when not too. It’s always right to apologize for something we’ve done wrong but not for loving and living for Jesus with all our hearts. Somehow, and I can’t exactly pinpoint when in my Christian walk, the enemy had crept in with insecurity through phrases like “Jesus Freak”, “She’s just overly spiritual”, “She is too heavenly minded to be any earthly good”, and so on. The enemy uses these kinds of phrases to work as little mind traps that keep us in a place called “comfortable Christianity,” where the water is always calm and we don’t rock the happy little Christian boat. We want to maintain some Christian Monet’ painting with just the right balance of all the right Christian things to say and do with out getting “too crazy”. And don’t forget to always keep smiling.

I have had the privilege to know and walk with some of the most amazing men and women who love the Lord whose testimony is: “Life is messy and sometimes life is really hard but I’m so glad I know who holds my hand. And He who holds my hand is faithful to carry me through all of life’s trials and victories. Though I walked through the fire … I didn’t come out burnt because He was with me.”  There were days  for them when the battle was rough and a smile was hard to come by, but they have made no apology for the bad days nor did they have need to in their victories. They allowed God to be their reputation and He was faithful to protect theirs. Haven’t we all had those days though? It’s about who we are in those days that matters. Are we protecting our reputation or are we letting God protect His?

Here’s a little story about Mr. David the King of Israel, about who it was also written, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all My will.’ (Act 13:22). This is an excerpt from 2 Samuel chapter 6 when the Ark of the LORD was returning to Jerusalem after being at the home of Obed-Edom for three months.

Now King David was told, “The LORD has blessed the household of Obed-Edom and everything he has, because of the ark of God.” So David went down and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the City of David with rejoicing. When those who were carrying the ark of the LORD had taken six steps, he sacrificed a bull and a fattened calf. David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the LORD with all his might, while he and the entire house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouts and the sound of trumpets.

As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart.

When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!”

David said to Michal, “It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.” (2 Samuel 6:12-16, 20-22)

Well I think it’s obvious that David and Michal could have used a marriage counselor David’s act that day probably wasn’t the only thing that had irked her over the years of their marriage, there seems to be built up offense. We can’t get stuck there because this isn’t a marriage blog. But what I want to show you is what the Lord was showing me in this passage; David didn’t make accuses for his behavior before the Lord or apologize for his abandonment in worship before his God. Her offense didn’t dictate or moderate his worship … he was committed to worship God with even more abandon under judgment and scrutiny. I want to be like David so full of tenacity and passion for my God that the opinions of others don’t move me. Of course I don’t want to be rude, I always want position myself in Christ in the place of love when under judgment. What I am saying is that we can choose not to let the judgment of others make us insecure in our pursuit of who we are in Him. We don’t have to apologize for being in love with God and changing who we are to be more like Him. Whatever that looks like.

~We shouldn’t be afraid of what others think of us as much as we should be afraid of who we become when we care what others think of us.

When I was twenty I was placed in leadership over women twice my age as an intern at the Teen Challenge where I graduated. I felt very insecure because I was very aware they were not happy campers about it. I made many apologies and disclaimers for the leadership and favor that was placed on me. Even when I had a word of encouragement in my heart for one of the ladies I would start and end with a disclaimer, “Well I kind of feel like God put this on my heart to share with you … it probably isn’t anything but here is what I feel like God said.” I would apologize when I had to ask them to do something I had authority to ask them to do like, “I’m sorry, but can you please turn in your fundraiser reports before you go to dinner, that is what “they” (my leaders) have said they want us to do.” Because of my lack of confidence and apologizing it was very hard for these women to follow me. And it was very hard for me to stand strong under the pressure of their opinions of me. I don’t regret being who I was in that moment but I am determined to learn from my past experiences. Next time a leadership opportunity came around when I was at Bible College and given the leadership responsibility as one of the resident advisors of my apartment complex, there were no more accuses or apologies.  If God saw fit to allow me to be in leadership and given me favor to do so, I needed to rise up and be who He said I was.

I have a life motto: “Be real with yourself, be real with God, and be real with others.” Some may question, shouldn’t you be real with God first? Well if I can’t get real with myself, really looking at my life and heart, there is no getting real with God. I find that when I’m real with myself and take that to God, He empowers me to be real with others based on the truth He shares when my reality meets His. Then true realness remains. In this place I have a choice. Do I choose to be who He says I am or do I shrink back because I value the perception of what others think about me more than what He thinks?

~Our destinies will always be greater than the opinions of those around us.

I have made the choice that other’s opinions real or perceived will not determine my proximity to His throne. They will no longer hold me back from going higher and deeper in Him. And neither should they for you. When we lose ourselves in Him we lay down our reputation and take on His … we take His name and are hidden in the reputation of that name.

It’s time to simply give yourself permission to be who you want to be in God. He already has and He is so amazingly patient with us because He knows sometimes it takes us a little longer to get there;) So just decide to be today who you want to be tomorrow. There is a grace to change.  I’ve prayed before for people in my life to have the grace for me to change. Grace came. I encourage you to give others in your life the grace to change and it’ll be there for you too.

It’s ok to have days when you don’t smile. Or to have a bad day when trusting God is harder than other days. It’s ok to be who you really are in God. You may not be where you want to be, take a step closer today and don’t apologize for it.  Don’t pass out disclaimers to make other people more comfortable with your choice to draw nearer to God and pursue your spiritual giftings.

1 Peter 4:11 (Amplified Bible)

“Whoever speaks, [let him do it as one who utters] oracles of God; whoever renders service, [let him do it] as with the strength which God furnishes abundantly, so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ (the Messiah). To Him be the glory and dominion forever and ever (through endless ages). Amen (so be it).”

Disclaimers often negate the very point you’re trying to make … they suck the power right out of the words meant to encourage until they deflate and become weightless. If God said to say it … say it as if it came straight from the heart of God. If God tells you to do something … do it as if you’re on a personal mission from God.

So what’s holding you back? What have people intentionally and unintentionally said (to you or about you) that has caused you to shrink back from taking steps closer to God and His purposes for you? What do you fear they’d say about you? That you are prideful to think God would want to use you to do great things? That people might think you think more highly of yourself than you ought? That you’re too old or too young? Is it the fear of the unknown or fear of failure that is holding you back?

These are just opinions and lies. It takes just one moment in His presence for Him to come and hover over you and speak His truth and answer your hearts questions. Moments like these empower you to be who He says you are. I say let’s let Him do it right now!

Lord,

What are you wanting to say to us about our purpose in you? Holy Spirit, who do you say that I am? (pause … listen) What lies have I believed about what others have thought about me that keep me from serving you with complete abandonment? (pause … listen) Forgive me for the times I choose to live under the fear of man and their opinions and not yours. Today … I choose you … I choose the truth you bring … I choose to believe what You speak about me and over me.  Today I take a step closer to you and all you have for me. Today I stop apologizing for who I am in you and who I want to be. Thank you for loving me and seeing me. Thank you that I am fearfully and wonderfully made to fulfill the plans you have for me.

Let it be to me as you have said … AMEN! So be it!

After His heart while loving yours!

Marissa Star