My Time Traveling Super Hero BFF Who Saved The World!
I rolled over … again … into the waves of my warm sheets ignoring the obnoxious intervals of beeps that were announcing a new day. My mind began rolling (like every other day), organizing all the madness that was waiting for my eyelids to open into what I would like to call a neatly organized to-do list. Of course being a Mom to four, I had allotted myself at least two forgotten to-do’s. Hopefully none of them would be as embarrassing as the time I forgot to put a diaper on my two-week old infant when I took him to meet some friends for the first time. There he was cute as a button dressed in his best clothes sitting in his infant car seat bathing in a puddle of pee. Wow, here meet my fourth son. I’m convinced that this kind of memory loss is just one of the side effects of motherhood that are hidden in the very fine print of the job description somewhere next to episodes of sleep deprivation. So for all those forgotten to-do’s, I gave myself grace and added them to the roll over list … again. I sensed the very familiar presence of a little person looming over me; I crack an eye-lid to see my four-year staring at me two inches away from my face. How none of my children have ever found this kind of behavior to be creepy I’ll never know. He’ll utter the phrase that I have become all to accustom to, “Mama, I’m hungry!” and like that the to-do list of the day had been activated. Hesitantly I sat up and stared down at my feet to be greeted by ten little piggies wearing last months pedicure and wearing it badly I might add. A Mental note was taken: add to reminder list … when getting dressed (hopefully before noon) wear closed toed shoes.
But priorities first … a caffeine intervention is always number one on my list … this mama needed a latte’ before she takes on a day full of “…again” moments! I scurried to the kitchen to find the company of my favorite mug while the smell of perking espresso and the anticipation of a fabulous latte’ began to brighten the morning! I began down this trail of thought before I realized my thoughts turned into a dialogue with the living God. I pondered with words “Lord even in the redundant routine of waking up tired to a mile-high to-do list and the hungry eyeballs of my toddler … again … I know one of these days is better than a thousand so-called good days without You, because I know who I was before I met you!”
You see, I knew that Mama, rolling out of bed to take on another day of being wife, mother, and friend. I knew her back when she was just a nineteen-year-old hurting girl addicted to drugs that had nothing but broken relationships stacked up against her. I remember the day when she had a life intervention that resulted in a love affair with her maker. That girl who became this Mama is my story (the only one I own). Like a super-hero Jesus reached down into my pit and rescued me from myself. No cape or super suit. No plastic six-pack or trademarked mask: Just the supernatural super powers of His love that shook me to the core. Everyday that I walked out of darkness, I began stepping into destiny … everyday felt normal but everyday was a miracle as my heart was being changed from a cold hopeless state to a place where dreams come alive. My first dream was to be married to a man I truly loved and to him be a good wife. My second dream was to have children and to them be a good Mom. Little did I know that there was no handbook for what “good” would look like. And from this place my relationship with Jesus as merely my Super-hero evolved into a friendship built on my desperate need for direction, guidance, and a whole lot of grace.
First marriage rocked my world; really by showing me how selfish I was when the love anesthesia wore off. In the process of loving this man in front of me my friendship with Jesus upgraded to BFF status as He helped me see my husband’s weaknesses but only praise his strengths … when all I really wanted to do was scream. These were the hard lessons of learning I couldn’t change him because I couldn’t get inside him and make him understand me. But, I had this best friend (Jesus) that when I kept my mouth shut and prayed had this uncanny ability to change me and the more I changed I saw my husband change. And this lesson that has taken permanent residence in my heart is one that continues to challenge and change me.
Second I had those babies I dreamt about and wanted more than anything. After baby number one I realized there was so much they didn’t tell me and for good reason. But obviously the sleepless nights, hormonal madness, and extra sixty pounds didn’t stop me from having three more. But there he was … my faithful BFF Jesus holding out his hand. It was His hand that often strengthened me and held me when I felt overwhelmed and exhausted from lack of sleep and the pressures of always being needed. I will occasionally hold their little faces in my hands and dream of the destiny the Lord has for them. Imagining the roads this life will take them down and I find myself blessed at the opportunity of having front row seats in their audience as their stories unfold.
You see there have been MANY days I have questioned if I was a “good” wife … if I was a “good” mother, wondering if my “good” was “good” enough. Through these times of questioning and uncertainty what had been holding hands with Jesus quickly turned into a death grip. Truly because I was holding on for dear life needing His life in me to be real and not just a song I sang at church. I needed to know He was with me. I needed to know that because He was good and lived in me … I could be good. I was in a particular situation; really a season of trying to train a child who’s strong will felt stronger than mine. At times it was like the UFC version of train up a child in the way he should go and well … we’ll see. I was crying out to God asking what does being a “good Mom” to him look like anyway? I was in a room full of woman at church at a special session put on by our church’s freedom ministry department … when the speaker asked us to close our eyes and listen to Holy Spirit speak to us. I took this opportunity to lift this situation that weighed heavy on my heart up to the Lord. He spoke, “I trust you.” “Wait, What?” I replied and continued asking as tears began to stream down my face, “How do you trust me? You’re the God … I’m the people, remember … I trust You!” He began to expound, “ You see I’ve got one hand with you where you are in the present and one hand with you over here in the future … you see we’ve got this Ris … you overcome! I can trust you because I see what you can’t see … I see the outcome! There is nothing we can’t do together.” Wow, it all came to together in one moment, even though I’ve had to travel this road in intervals of 24/7, He transcends time to be with me at all places at once. He was with me when we first met drawing me toward today and today He is with me drawing me toward a tomorrow where He already is. He was and is completely with me in all places as He is with you. Today you could have started your day similar to mine with a series of “…again moments” of being a wife and mother with a million things on your plate but also some situations weighting heavy on your heart. You may be single or married without children but that doesn’t mean that life cuts you any slack and there aren’t places in your heart that aren’t desperate for Him. My encouragement is that we serve a super-hero that will fight all odds to rescue you and show you His love. He transcends all time (He knows where you’ve been and where your going), He is drawing you toward your destiny. He is the ultimate BFF who always has your best interests at hand and can be trusted with the deepest places of your heart. He died on the cross to save the world … He is more than capable of saving us in the many ways we need to be saved daily… again. So as we trust Him together let’s crawl up in the mighty hands of the one I like to call: My time traveling Super-Hero BFF who saved the world … and that’s for short.
Just happened to be up and productive on my laptop when this came through. Anthony and I read this together and it was so fun to be drawn into your world on this particular day. You story-tell with the best of ‘em, Ris.
“My encouragement is that we serve a super-hero that will fight all odds to rescue you and show you His love. He transcends all time (He knows where you’ve been and where your going), He is drawing you toward your destiny. He is the ultimate BFF who always has your best interests at hand and can be trusted with the deepest places of your heart.”
Loved this part…
You have used a day in your life to show us exactly who Jesus is. Thank you for encouraging my heart with a slice of your life and your Super Hero BFF…
Much Love,
Babs
I have been anticipating this one as if it were the latest movie everyone wants to watch at midnight of the opening dAy! Definitely well worth the wait my friend… Tear jerker for sure. But they are tears of hope, strength and and overwhelming confidence of our BFFs love. “oh how He loves us so!” You are one of my heroes lil lady! Thanks for sharing your raw heart. You are loved and cherished. Basically…. You ROCK!! Loved it, love you!
Awesome to read about your journey from where we left off in CA. To HIM be the GLORY! Amen!
YES! I need encouraged in with my UFC child too. Nice to know another great mom wonders if she is good enough too.
I really loved reading this..
Awesome! I love how you are able to transparently share what every other wife and mother is already thinking. That’s why we are called to the Body, to be encouraged and see that we are not alone.
The blog is great and I have enjoyed reading each one. Appreciate what you are doing.
Blessings!
Amen! and Amen! I love that He alone has the power to transform and give us a life greater than we could have ever dreamed (challenges and all). Ris, I love you, and love your willingness to share with us.
“Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to the Father for everything, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 5:20
Marissa, you are a beautiful picture of these words: always singing, dancing,making music and giving thanks to the Father for everything in your life. And Marissa?…it’s contagious! Don’t stop inspiring us to aspire for more out of our lives than just the daily to-do lists. Love, Joanna
Marissa!! Thank you, Jesus,for the gift he planted deep inside of you to paint beauty & hope in every day colors & the burden you have to share it!! Your cup runs over, but yet you spill over His rockin love into others lives!! No pride, no perfectionism, no false religion…just you , his daughter, dancing with your bff!! Love it!! Thanks for sharing your fire!!! Have an awesome latte, I mean day!!;) Livin’ Love, Sach
Marissa-
You might not remember me, but I was in T2 this last semester and had the pleasure of meeting you there:) This was a wonderfully written love letter that truly encouraged me today! Thank you for your heart, your honesty and your love for our Father. You are one talented women:):)
With Joy-
Stacy
I love it sweetie! I’m always moved by your writing. I’m glad that others are starting to see the passion in you that I’ve seen every day for the past 10+ years. Thanks for taking the time to share it with all of us. Love you, Yuri
I want to sign up for when y’all post new writtings!! Is that possible?!
Great blog, Marissa! I REALLY loved what you said about marriage. So true, so true. Oh, that that truth would be downloaded into every marriage! The divorce rate would greatly be reduced.
What a beautifully gifted story-teller you are. You write from deep within the heart. You draw us in to your life with how you weave the story. Beautiful! I LOVED what you had to share. I laughed at your story of your 2 week old without a diaper. I can definitely relate to the mommy brain! I love your heart and your love and joy is contagious ~ greatly encouraging me!
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and passion Marissa! You are such an inspiration to many of us that we don’t have to be perfect. God is the ultimate perfection and all He wants from us is our devotion and love. I loved your honesty and humor. Reading your post got my morning off to a great start! Thanks again and be blessed!
Marissa, I totally enjoyed reading your blog. You articulated perfectly what so many of us women have felt and experienced over the years in our lives, relationships, marriages, rearing of children and even in desiring to be the best grandmothers ever. It’s not all about us; it’s in Whom we depend on 24/7 for wisdom, strength, direction,ideas, and our motives for wanting to be “good’ in all those areas of our lives. Sure we desire to be the best in every arena of life, but it boils down to ” I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me”. The wise woman (or person) recognizes their need for a Savior and His Name is Jesus.
Hi Marissa,
Loving your site – your blogs – your passion! Keep it up! You paint a beautiful picture of God’s faithfulness. I’m blessed by the sharing of all your ladies….
You are an awesome leader of women.
love,
Jan
Wow… You totally rocked my world with this one!
So glad to know that I’m not the only one who questions my own “goodness” at life. I fall short every time, and yet he lifts me up right where I need to be! I love my BFF too!
Thanks for your heart Ris. What a great read!
Thank you guys for coming out and leaving comments … you’ve totally blessed me! I loved hearing you share your love for our great BFF:)
Loves,
~Ris
your words are beautiful.
the statement that “holding hands with jesus had turned into a death grip” are perfect words to describe my early years of marriage and mothering. i am in a season of holding hands again (i’m sure when they hit the teens the death grip hold will return). jesus is so good to cling to!
Ris-
What a sweet reminder that He has it ALL in His hands!! Your story is captivating and the vulnerablilty of your heart is so sweet! Thank you for sharing your story. I was blessed to know you all the more through it as well as see a deeper truth about my BFF Super-Hero!!
I love you, Tomi
Ris~ OMG! Love so much! You are not only an amazing writing, but your story draws us to want Jesus even more! This blog has really touched me! Favorite line- “I know one of these days is better than a thousand so-called good days without You, because I know who I was before I met you!”
Yes, yes, and AMEN!!
amazing writing….amazing love…..amazing Father! this mommy of a newborn has been encouraged and blessed…thank you!! much love, beth
I have those days when I’m questioning if I’m good enough too! I try to focus on the Truths in Gods word and I quickly come out of it fighting!! Praise God that He gives me the answers I need!! It always helps to have friends and a husband who encourage me too!
Thanks Ris for being so vulnerable and opening up!! Love you!!
Ris–I love the time travel part of this–that is our hope. He not only saved us from our past, but He is carrying us to our future. I will be chewing on that one for awhile. I love your writing style too–fast, powerful, descriptive. Thanks for leading us in this.
Ris- Your “again” list really touched my heart. You know from conversations we have shared about how looming that list is for me day in and day out.
What an amazing love we have from our Savior!!!! Thanks for sharing…so lovin’ this blog by the way! Truly Inspirational!
I have been out of the loop this last week and today as I went back and read the ones I missed…this one was so timely!!! I am in that place of a strong will that feels stronger than mine…but this is so encouraging and even though I want to wave my white flag and surrender to the strong will this encourages me to instead wave the white flag to my BFF and let the super hero move in me, and strengthen me!!! Thanks Ris for sharing…I truly love to read your heart!!! Hugs!!
I related to very little of your story. But that didn’t matter one bit. What mattered is that I related VERY MUCH to your heart for Jesus. To that desperation and dependence! I think it is such a blessing to have a blog where women, just like me, can be spoken over by women, just like you.
Oh, my sweet friend! How I love how you can communicate these precious truths of Jesus- you are so gifted and I love that you can share His gift with us! Thanks for getting my cry out today- you know I need it at least once a day. Love you and that BFF you let shine out of you!
I just love reading anything you write.:) You have such a good heart and sweet spirit. Your blogs are what most moms are truly thinking and going through. You write in a way that is so relatable and true! It has been so great to see Gods hand at work in your life. Keep being obedient to Him in all that you do because it ministers to so many that you don’t even realize, like me!!:) Love you girl!
-Maree
thank you so much for sharing this and starting this blog. your post really encouraged me.
Thanks so much for sharing this, it definitely ministered to me…I have three little ones of my own too.
Marissa, I love this blog post!!! It makes me want to fall in love with Jesus…. again and again and again!