“Kindred Spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.”
~Anne Shirley
“Girls, they wanna have fu-un!” Most of us have heard Cindy Lauper’s hit about girls just wanting to have fun, but as we all know there have been times when not everybody is having fun. I can remember going to a party thrown just for me, and still feeling very lonely and empty inside; a feeling nobody should ever have to feel.
My social abilities all started when I was young. My mom would tell you it was soon after I learned how to speak. In elementary school, I would get report cards back from my teachers and in the comment section they would write, “Maree is very social with the other children” or, “Maree should focus on her work and less on talking with the others.” I was a very out-going, big 80’s glasses wearin’ curly headed kid! I LOVED having lots of friends!
God also blessed me with two of the most amazing, fun-loving, God-fearing sisters. They have seen me at my BEST and have supported me at my WORST. My parents taught us to always remain close, stick together, lift each other up, and stand beside each other no matter what happens in life. We have a crazier-than-you-will-ever-know, laugh-until-it-hurts kind of relationship that I love and cherish deeply. I love you sisters!!
I got married very young, moved 3 times, and had four babies in 7 years. Wow, I’m tired from just writing that. The years went by, friendships came and went; and I learned through some hurtful experiences which were the friends of commitment or convenience. I started to rethink this whole grown-up friendship thing. Was it really worth it?
Having girlfriends was just more hard work for me, and I didn’t make time to pursue them. In fact, my husband had to practically push this once very social butterfly out the door to enjoy a girl’s night out. I became very closed, and wouldn’t allow my heart to be open to having any close friendships that might develop by just saying, “Yes” to a cup of coffee. The great wall of rejection and isolation was attempting to redefine the friendly and charismatic woman that God created me to be.
After I had my last baby, God had been doing some work on my heart and I was at a place where I was searching for some deep friendships. I can remember surfing the Internet on “My Space” (just before Facebook took over the planet), and saw a picture of a group of girls. Some of them I knew and some I had just met. When I looked a little closer to the picture, it was like a spark went off in my spirit and my soul longed to be close to them. I thought to myself, “I’d really like to be a part of that group!” This feeling went deeper than just wanting a place to belong; I saw the “Jesus” in them and wanted some of whatever they had to offer. I didn’t follow them or ask to be a part of some secret club. I allowed God to do the work and in His perfect way, He allowed our paths to cross. By His divine order, He answered my prayer.
These friendships began to blossom, and my heart was overjoyed with the love and acceptance I felt when I was with these precious ladies. The Lord started to fill the parts of my heart that had been broken from past hurts with a new awareness of what friendships were made for.
I love the saying, ”Friends are here for a reason, a season, and a lifetime.” Friends for a reason are sometimes to meet a specific need usually during a difficult time. Friends for a season are friends God puts on our path to teach us something new about ourselves. They are remembered and cherished for that particular season. Lifetime friendships are ones you do life with. They are diamonds found in a world full of fine jewelry. They are those who cry with you in the hard times, pray with you in the desperate times, and rejoice with you in the victorious times.
“No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends.” John 15:13 (Amplified)
This is the “kindred spirit” friendship that Anne Shirley talks about in the book Anne of Green Gables. I read this as a child, but now that I am an adult and have gone through many different types of friendships, I finally know why she expressed her heart in this way. It is a friend that is closer than a brother. It’s seeing the pain when you think you’ve got it all covered up so well. it’s them saying out loud what you were thinking inside. It can be as light as a fun day at the spa, to as deep as grieving a loss of a loved one.
God gave me some pretty precious gifts in these new friendships to help me overcome the hurts of feeling lonely and the walls I had allowed be built up through some painful past relationships. I am free to be me, and I am pushed to go into the higher places with God. His gracious love is shown through their acts of kindness. Birthday parties have now become my favorite because we each have this wonderful opportunity to taste of some “sweet” verbal dessert, full of encouragement for one another and sprinkled with God’s love. My thirtieth birthday this year will be treasured forever! I was completely surprised with a party by friends who showered me with their love and acceptance. To top off my birthday celebration, my husband surprised me with a fun girlfriend getaway trip to New York. I consider myself truly blessed beyond measure with priceless friendships.
What I love most about these girls is that they always allow others in. It’s not exclusive. It’s inclusive. We have this special connection, but we are all about seeing others the way God sees them and inviting more in!
Some of you may have this great ability to connect with people, some may have had friendships since childhood and have been able to keep them going strong, and some may be able to pick up right where you left off. God’s desire for us is to help one another on this journey of life and truly be there in the good times and bad; never to be isolated, but always to be surrounded by those who cover us in His love.
My prayer for you today is that if you have had past hurts, or have felt alone, mistreated or rejected, that God would take the hurt, heal your heart, and give you His love and a gift for you to keep in return: the gift of kindred friendship.
Is it the picture I'm thinking of?
You're so wonderful and precious and I loved reading this!
Beautifuly stated Maree. And I really love that you quoted Anne Shirley!!
Maree, I am so blessed to have you in MY pictures! You are a treasure to me. Thank you for posting this piece that will encourage many to reach out again and let someone in. It will help others to consider taking a chance on friendship maybe one more time so that they too can find someone to bloom with. You are beautiful!
I love this and have been in the same place for a while…good to know it wasn't just me.
Love love love the quote from Anne Shirley! Makes me want to watch all the videos (yes videos) and read the books again.
*tears* Maree, I love you, and so glad for our pictures.
I especially love the part, "What I love most about these girls is that they always allow others in. It’s not exclusive. It’s inclusive. We have this special connection, but we are all about seeing others the way God sees them and inviting more in!" Exclusivity causes pain, rejection and hurt, but inclusivity causes others to believe the truth that they're valuable and necessary.
Hey Maree! Love the blog as usual! Thanks for the shout out! Your blog brings this beautiful phrase to mind, " Sisterhood without the drama", all women need it! So proud of you for writing about this! and so proud to be your friend forever and sis. Love you! ~Jessie
Love Anne Shirley, anni loved this piece!! I have recently been blessed with the same kind of friends, so it really touched my heart reading this!
Your writing is blossoming more and more Maree. How blessed you have been and continue to be. I'm glad you can revel in the blessings that have been afforded you.
i remember our conversation concerning what was stirring in your heart. i love how you put it into words…just beautiful and so true. you are a gem and i am thankful to call you friend and share life with you! much love, beth
I totally agree! We all need girlfriends to encourage us, to make us laugh, and to get us to new places! Thank You, Lord, for girlfriends and thank You, Lord, for Maree! Blessings!
Great article! It is so important to have friends. I am just rediscovering this truth myself.
I so needed this….This is where I am at this point in my life…I put everything away and just got used to being home and taking care of somebody….anybody! I dont want to end up alone in my old age and I am looking at that straight in the face at this moment! I pray that I can open my heart and let others in and let the fears fade away….and let the friendships in…Thank you for these meaningful words of wisdom
My eyes are full of the biggest tears right now….I've moved 19 times in the past 28 years and it's been hard, REALLY hard. It's taken me longer and longer to make friends each time we've moved. I feel like I have a big sign on me somewhere that says stay away. It's not that I haven't tried, but I know I haven't done all I can. We've been here now going on 5 years, and while I have some friends here, none are of the deeper level. I've just started getting out a little more, and am hopeful for God to enable some of my friendships to blossom.
As one who has experienced the 'inclusivity', I can speak to just how healing these friendships can be. I love your writing, friend. I hear your heart loud and clear!!
I loved this. It gives me hope that God WILL bless me with lifetime friendships. Having hurtful relationships in the past has left me so cautious that I get scared to reach out and usually don't. Thank you for the encouragement and hope
So great Maree!! Relationships are my favey fave; pretty sure we were created for them
Love, love how transparent you are. And I feel ya on all the good and bad sides of this article. So glad He healed, so glad you shared. And I love that I get to see the inclusiveness first hand. What a totally amazing group of women- Girlfriends rock! Keep shinin'.
Love this! Love you! Love how God blesses us with amazing friends!
I publish a charity art magazine with many events and found myself as I expanded the business, associating with people because I needed to promote the events. I chose people who looked good on the outside and would look good in photos and socialize well at the events. After a few years, I decided since I was incredibly lonely on the inside among these groups I didn't share common values with, to go ahead and be lonely and be with my childhood and college best friends. Waiting was worth it for purposeful friend interactions. AND I spent the extra time authoring the book Secrets of the Southern Shells for my 18-year-old daughter to capture the values I hope she will keep in her own life as she moves on and leaves for college.
Inviting more in…love this . God's heart is to never stop inviting others in. You live this way. This is who you are, my sweet friend.
Perfect timing, Maree….so good! Thank you for having a sharing heart and for chosing to be inclusive. You are an inspiration to all of us who have been blessed by your friendship. Love these little reminders that God hears my heart and love you!!
A fantastic read! Thanks Maree! I miss you too! I think about you and the Boot camp/Coffee girls quite often and enjoy many of your articles you post! Happy Mothers Day beautiful girl!
Thanks for sharing, I too can relate and I shed some tears remembering those lonely places. God reminded me as I was crying out for close friends to be the kind of friend that I wish I had to everyone that I meet. Sooner or later the right ones stick! Now 3 years in a new place I am getting to practice this principle all over again:)
Great post Maree! Thank you for sharing your heart and for letting us in on your journey to finding life-long friendships! Finding those truly precious, "know all about you and love you anyway" friends are such a gift from the Father!
Wonderful! Friendships with an unconditional, agape, foundation, are the only friendships I have at this point in my life. I count it all joy I have women in my life who love me in my "stuff". Amazing!
You ARE a fabulous writer Maree! You capture my heart every article…and this one was such an encouragement to women who have ALL experienced the ups & downs (at least the downs!) in friendship relationships. Yet, the rewards of real friendships should make our pursuit of them a matter of prayer; and once recognized, not taken for granted but regarded as gems to hold on to and treasure. So thankful for YOUR friendship and your heart for women to experience God's best for them in every arena of their lives!
Yes it is the picture you are thinking of!! I'm so thankful that I finally got the honor of knowing just a fraction of your heart these past months. Can't wait for more fun heart connections!! You are a treasure!! Thanks for being you!!
Thanks Mel!! I have always loved Anne Shirley and would love to speak like her one day!!:)
You are a diamond!! Love you!
Oh sweet Rebecca!! Your comment brought me to tears!! I have so loved having you in my life!! You are the BEST part of my 5:30am mornings!! Thank you for allowing me to be me and giving me a safe place to turn!!
Love you Becky!!;)
I love how God desires us to have relationship with one another, just so we will see how He longs to have relationship with us!!
And yes….I might have the collection of Anne Shirley!!;)
My sweet connector Renee!! Thanks for always letting me in and for not only giving me a place, but giving many others a place of feeling welcomed and accepted as well!! You are treasured always!!
Love ya!!
My Jessie!!
Love you & Apiee and I am so incredibly blessed to have you both as my lifetime friends and sisters!!
"There were never such devoted sisters!!"
Thanks for your loving support!!
~Rita
So glad!! They are truly treasures!! Hang on to them and be blessed!!
Anne Shirley….she is a favorite classic!!:)
Carola!! Thank you for your heart felt words, they always mean a lot!!
You are a lifetime blessing!!
Love ya!
Thank you Beth!! You are one of my biggest inspirations of how one should invest into their friendships!! You are a loyal friend and I am honored to have you in my life!! Can't wait for our next trip!:)
Love you!!
Thank you Nicole!! So thankful for our friendship!! You are always a blessing to me!!:)
Thanks for the shout out Mavi!! I will never forget my hair twin!! Love ya!
Girl you know I love you and you are one of my dearest friends … but more I love who you are in God and that we get to walk that way together … reveling in what He is saying and doing in the world … in our lives … this kind of kindred friendship … priceless!!!
You are a treasure! Loves~Ris
Such a great truth to rediscover!! Stepping out is the hardest part until you discover you were never alone to begin with!! You are a precious friend Jan and I am blessed to know you!!
Thank you for your comment. You don't know how much it blesses me to hear that you needed to hear this today. It helps me know that I really did hear God when writing this, so thank you again! Please don't feel like you are ever alone! God's desire for His children is to always feel loved and unified together with Him. I pray as you seek for others you would know that God has already made a way for you and has set the right people in the right place just for you. You are extremely loved!! Be blessed!
Thank you for sharing your heart with me!! I know it may seem hard at times, but I want to encourage you to keep knocking!! The door will be open, I promise!:) God loves for us to seek after godly relationships with others because He longs to have the same kind of relationship with us, He knows and He cares. I pray for some deep, loving relationships to begin to flourish for you very soon my friend!!
So glad you heard my heart!! Thank you for helping me really connect with my Healer!! I love the way you "see" people!!:) Makes me want some of that!!
I'm so glad you were encouraged!! As we draw near to God and He draws near to us, His overabundance love can't help but leap out and touch someone and in doing that others will desire the "Jesus" that shines through us. I pray that the Lord would guard your heart and cover you as you step out to get close to others. I also pray for those lifetime friends that have been hand picked just for you!!
You are just oozing with God's goodness!! Love you heart!!
Thanks for reading!!
Marci,
"Get grace and training and girlfriends too, because the next best thing to Jesus…..is Titus 2!"
I just had to do it!!;) I have LOVED every minute of getting to know and hear you heart this year!! It has been so amazing to get to sit next to "Marci the great" and see His love just flow from you!! You are a treasured friend and I love you!
Sounds like a great book!! Capturing the value of friends is priceless!!
Thanks for reading!!:)
Thank you for your sweet words Amy!! They meant a lot!! You capture God's heart beautifully!!
Love you friend!!
Yes..God absolutely hears your heart!! You are so incredibly precious Rachel! I love how God has connected us!! You just make me smile!!:)
Love ya!
Thank you Kimberly!! I would love to see you soon!!:)
Be blessed!!
Thanks for the insight Stephanie!! My husband has to remind me sometimes that "a friend shows himself friendly." I have to repeat this to myself when I'm with a big group!!
So thankful for great friends like you!!
Thank you Blynda…fellow DIB team member!;) I always appreciate your words and your great sense of humor!! You are a treasure, my friend!!
Love ya!!
Thank you for taking the time to read. It is an honor to have you as a friend..I'm so glad God connected us.. Looking forward to more fun nights!!:)
Maree, that was Wonderful!! You are a true friend and Im so blessed to have you in my life. You bring such joy to our friendship and Im so glad we reconnected!! Love you!!
Awesome article Maree!!! Love you!!!
Maree.. so beautifully written and I certainly felt your heart in this. I'm not in those pictures but I am in some and you are indeed a sister of my heart! I am amazed at how many people feel lost and are in the same spot you were… wanting heart friends! Including me! God will give us the desires of our heart especially if those desires are his desire for us!! Love you so much.. you are a precious gem!
Maree, I am so glad you shared your heart on this as I'm pretty sure we have ALL been either a social butterfly, inclusive, or like you & me…a little of both in different seasons of life. God just used your story to shine the light on a tactic of the enemy…He tries to hurt us in a relationship and therefore cause us to not let other in. I have been there & so related to your feelings. What is even greater is that you had a greater hunger for the friendships that were glowing God! A circle of girls who are not a private club but using their influence for the Kingdom by loving you for who YOU are! This is the kind of lifelong friendships we all hope for! I also love how YOU didn't seek out the friendships but allowed God to bring them together. I have found God is much better at bringing these lifelong friends in my life than I am at seeking them out too! We all have so much to offer each other in the sisterhood & I'm thankful you encouraged us all to be that for someone too! So much love, Amy
Maree, I am on the newer side of friendship with you, and I really appreciate how you girls are inclusive–it is a powerful, beautiful gift in the complex world of women and friendships!
I love what you said about regarding our friendships as jewels and not taking advantage of them. Such a great truth!!
Thank you for your continued love and friendship in my life!!
Walking with you has truly been like a taste of kingdom living!! I love how God has connected our hearts and will continue to grow this sweet friendship as we partner ourselves with Him.
Here's to more trips, more fun, and many, many more "God moments" together!!
Love Love You!!
Thank you Gaye!! I love the sweetness of Jesus that I feel when I'm with you!! You are a jewel!
Love you too!
Thank you sissy!!
The pictures I remember the most of us together are the ones of you holding me as a baby and the ones of me trying my best to look just like you. You have been a protector of the world around me and a comforter when I needed you the most. You have always been a great big sister and one of the best role models I have ever looked up to!!
My love for you goes Deep!!
Wow!! Your words meant a lot!! So glad you felt encouraged.
God gives us the desires of our hearts and when He adds His special touch they are better than we could have ever imagined!!
I love your heart and can't wait to know you even better.
Love,
Maree
Thank you Pam!! I always enjoy our conversations. You have a great ability to engage everyone and draw them into hearing your heart! A great gift my friend!
Love ya!
I ALSO love that you quoted Anne Shirley. This has to be one of my FAVORITE things about being single into my late 20's. The ability to cultivate and grow amazing friendships with amazing women before marriage and kids get crazy
Being able to grow them now will help have a better foundation for when I'm married with kids!