IDENTITY.

Consult Merriam-Webster and you will get this definition: The collective aspect of the set of characteristics by which a [person] is definitively recognizable or known.

Identity is an interesting creature. On the one hand, it gives us a means to describe who we are and what we do. It furnishes titles for personalized license plates; it supplies monikers for necklaces and charms for bracelets; but, most importantly, it provides us with all those little, black words we need to fill the white pages of our personal resumes. Identity accommodates our need to be someone.

On the other hand, if we’re caught unaware, identity can be the very link that chains us to a lifetime of unrecognizable bondage. It can equip us with a false sense of self-importance or humility; it can be the greatest advocate of pride or shame; but, most importantly, it can exalt us to a place that should only belong to God. Identity can give us the unfortunate freedom and power to define who we are and who we are not.

Allow me a moment to reach into my past. In October 2008, I was going through some counseling at my home church, Gateway. After a couple of sessions, it was suggested that I attend Kairos, a three-day freedom intervention. One week later, I was back in the office sharing what Holy Spirit had revealed to me:

As I child, I was not one of the popular kids. I had red hair, which is not a blessing when you’re young; I had a bad overbite; I was painfully shy; and I wasn’t built like a size-zero ballerina. This all added up to years of being teased mercilessly about my appearance and being called derogatory names … followed by feelings of being completely unworthy and ugly. I [think] I hid it well, but I was deeply scarred by those words.

Needless to say, I approached my high school and young adult years with a huge insecurity about my looks. Although I grew up in a family where I was loved on like crazy, years of cruelty from those kids had instilled in me an identity of being Unaccepted.

When I transitioned from high school curfews to college freedom, I ran with a crowd where fun was only limited by a personal set of morals. Alcohol was my ladder to overcoming the painful obstacle of insecurity and the muffle on the voice that told me I wasn’t pretty enough to warrant male attention. Even though I hung out with a party crowd, I was still a virgin – a 19-year-old virgin – and in my group of friends, that was unheard of. This is where identity – my identity – became a foothold for the enemy and the bondage that would shape most of my adult years.

Because I was raised by Christian parents and grew up reading the Bible, I knew that sex outside of marriage was a sin; so I somehow convinced myself that as long as I remained a virgin I was still a Christian, no matter what else I did. That’s crazy, I know, but in my mind, Virgin = Christian. That was the identity bullseye I wore for my enemy.

At 19 I began dating a college guy who was “way too cute for me”, and he knew I believed that. He also knew I was a virgin because I had no problem letting guys know that that was the one area I wouldn’t budge on until I was married.  It turned out that my virginity was the only reason he pursued me. On one fateful night over Thanksgiving break, I met him – alone – in his dorm. He served me ‘punch’ that turned out to be laced with some kind of substance and hours later I came to, naked in a dorm shower, with this guy demanding me to wake up so I could drive myself home. The next morning I awoke to physical evidence of what had been done to me and a shame that drilled itself into the very core of who I was. Worse yet, I began believing the lie that the enemy was whispering into my soul … I was no longer worth anything to Christ.

That lie drove me forward into a life of sin, and running from God, for too many years. Since Jesus didn’t find me valuable anymore, neither did I. My identity changed from Virgin to Unworthy and was the catalyst to all of the bad decisions I made; including the man I chose to be my first husband. He desired to change nothing about me – unlike all the other guys I had dated – and, BINGO, he spoke right into that empty place of my worthlessness. This is proof positive that when we turn a deaf ear to God and the truth that will set us free, the enemy is waiting to woo us with lies that merely place bandages on our soul wounds and add to our bondage.

Fast forward 22 years and Angie, my counselor, so tenderly helped me see that I had wrapped my Virgin identity around Jesus’ love for and acceptance of me, even though one had nothing to do with the other. When that identity was stolen from me, it was fertile ground for the enemy to alter my already skewed identity into something that would keep me running from Jesus instead of turning to Him. When my identity in Christ was uprooted and distorted by the lies of the enemy, so was my belief in who Jesus is.

Angie was used to reveal truth to me that day. Even though I had finally surrendered my whole life to Jesus 10 years before meeting her, I still carried my Broken identity with me. Letting go of who I believed I was and letting in who I was created to be was like dropping 100 pounds of weight in 10 seconds.  I went from seeing myself as “Unimaginably Unworthy” (referencing Hind’s Feet on High Places) to seeing myself as Jesus saw me … “Pricelessly Precious”.  During my first Kairos, “precious” was the word spoken over me by Jesus and by some of the awesome staff and volunteers during prayer times. It is a word I would have never used to identify myself, but Jesus did … and does.

What I learned about identity two years ago has only grown richer, deeper, and more complete as I’ve journeyed with Jesus. Does the enemy continue to try to attack that identity? Yes, and he always will. But Jesus is so good at reminding me of the revelation of truth from that day; a day that added Identity Healed to my Eternity Sealed.

As I was writing this article, God drew me to these scriptures in Ephesians:

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. Ephesians 1:3-8 [NLT]

I love how this Word confirms God’s love for me before He created the world I live in; how He chose me to be holy and without fault in His eyes; and how He purchased my freedom [from the bondage of identity theft] with the blood of Jesus … all because it gave Him great pleasure.

The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy whatever he can get his hands on – our identities included – but God’s Word promises us that we are chosen and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12), that we no longer walk in condemnation (Romans 8:1), that we are identified as His own (2 Corinthians 1:22) … and that out of the ashes of our lives, He will bring beauty (Isaiah 61:3).

I was 41-years-old before the theft of my identity was revealed. Instead of allowing the enemy to bring discouragement because it took so long, I am completely encouraged – and praying you will be too – because it’s proof that “He who began a good work in me will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus”. (Philippians 1:6)

“Father God, I pray that you will do a mighty work in the hearts of those who read this, whose identities are scarred or skewed because of the work of the enemy in their lives. Break through the condemnation that keeps them from finding wholeness and healing in You. Open the eyes of their hearts to see how You are for them in their brokenness and see them as precious. Open their ears to hear Your Words of healing grace. Jesus, speak over them your sweet love that makes tender even the hardest of hearts. And Holy Spirit, reveal the lies of the enemy and replace it with the truth of God’s Word. Be made whole and new, in Jesus’ name. Amen and AMEN!”

Babs Coppedge

View More Articles By This Author