It’s amazing what you forget about elementary English grammar until you try to teach a child how to spell, and then you come across an exception and tell them the rule only to be asked, “why”. That happened to me only last week as we were studying for the 3^rd grade spelling bee. Some of the words I couldn’t even pronounce, so I skipped those and went to the “easy” ones since we had about 500 words to study.  We got to the section that had receipt, deceit, conceived, etc. So with a matter-of-fact voice I said to my 9-year old daughter, “These are all easy if you remember that “i” is always before “e” except after “c” and there is something about an “n” or an “s””.  Blink.  Blink, blink, blink.  Don’t ask, I thought, “Please don’t ask.”  But of course, being mine, she said,  “Why mom?  What does all that mean?  And who said so?”  Uuggghhhhhh!  The dreaded questions that every mom should know the answers to but I sure didn’t.  So much for my theory about it’s all in how you sell it. She wasn’t buying it.

After a brief conversation with myself that included a lot of mumbling, I dismissed my daughter and told her we would pick it up later.  I needed to think. I tried to go back to my usual task of being me and doing what I do, but I was stumped.  Gripped really, by the presence of the Holy Spirit and His voice saying to me, “This is no different than every other concept you are trying to teach your kids about holiness and godliness and relationship, except for your answer.”  My answer. My answer.  What was my answer?  Oh yeah, I didn’t really have one for her.  Anything had to be better than that big mom- mess-up for an answer I gave.  And that’s where we left it because I was trying to remember the rule about the “n” and the “s”, and trying to figure out, who makes this crazy stuff up anyway?

Later that evening, I asked my husband if I could take a “pass” on our family dinnertime (gasp), I know, to go for a run.  Running is a lot of things to a lot of people, but for me it’s open forum question and answer time with the Lord.  Knowing this, my wonderful husband said, “have a great time”, and off I went with all the gusto I could muster after the day of unanswered questions I had lived.  It wasn’t even a mile before I heard the Lord speak to me: “grace”. Now we have had this conversation before, almost daily since I came into the Kingdom actually, but I immediately knew that grace was the answer to the question I couldn’t answer earlier.  It was the answer to everything I was trying to teach my kids and evidenced by everything I have lived myself.  You see there are rules, commandments, denominations, traditions and even opinions that will tell you how and why things need to be done in a certain manner. There are books on every topic from understanding any rule, law or bill to praying effectively, fasting correctly, and parenting to achieve the next Nobel-prize winner.  But then, there is the amazing gift that can only be taught in the heart by the Master Himself, grace.

As I ran, I began to picture in my mind how grace is the answer. Actually, grace is not the answer but the exception to any and every rule, and the most powerful exception I could ever teach to my kids.  But unlike the “i” before “e” rule, I could explain why, what it means, and Who said so.  Grace is the forgiveness that came when the Bible says God hates divorce and I ended up divorced.  Grace is the delay that mysteriously happened when I wanted to blurt out to my friend that the choices she was making were not God’s best for her, but instead I smiled politely and began to pray for His sovereignty. Grace is the love I was able to show when I came face to face with an old friend that had caused me some serious hurt in the past and instead of ugly being my option, I was suddenly able to hold a conversation with her and realize it wasn’t a fake response.  Grace is the piece of chocolate cake that every friend celebrating her birthday in January eats without guilt during a church-wide fast. Grace is the exception to the world’s rule when dealing with my enemies.  Grace is the exception when sin and bad decisions had me cornered in a place of despair and suddenly God gave me a second chance for a family, a marriage and a child.  Grace is the noun that operates like a verb.  Grace is only from God, can be understood only with faith and is the reason my life is not a disastrous mess!

What a great answer to every question pertaining to life and godliness; grace.  I ran home with tears mixed with sweat on my face feeling relieved, loved and redeemed. I felt stronger now with this recent revelation of this very relevant interpretation of grace, and I felt equipped to take on motherhood again.  Admittedly, sometimes being a mother and walking with that responsibility daily overshadows my higher call to serve as an ambassador for Christ.  Instead of mumbling and grunting under my breath I have to remember that every thing has an exception and I am not going to know every one or the source from which it comes.  Except for Jesus. I fully understand the life His blood bought and the grace in which I walk.

I recognize that it would be easier to walk with my kids and teach them the Bible in black and white, the rules that can’t be broken, the colleges they can choose to attend and the characteristics and talents they must have to win the highest prize in the land.  But I think I’d much rather show them those things along with a measure and understanding of grace.  I want them to live the life that can be created and the faith that results in choosing the path of grace over the path of a life with only man-made exceptions. At least that decision I can understand and explain with great passion.  Now as for the “i” before “e” thing, that’s a whole other story …

2 Corinthians 1:12 (New Century Version)

This is what we are proud of, and I can say it with a clear conscience: In everything we have done in the world, and especially with you, we have had an honest and sincere heart from God. We did this by God’s grace, not by the kind of wisdom the world has.

Marsia Van Wormer