I’m not sure if I’ve ever known friendship like I know it today. I mean true, deep, cut-to-the-chase, don’t worry I’ve got your back, I saw how much cake you ate, you haven’t called me back in days, how can I ever thank you kind of friendship. It’s been a mixed bag lately, but I feel like I’ve had a front row seat in the arena, courtside tickets if you may. I’m up so close that I can hear the strategy of the teams, the ticking of the clock, and the voices of the television announcers. I can smell the concession stand, see the radical fans, and hear the conversations of the people sitting near me saying it’s never going to work, or this one is gonna be close.
It’s the story of my life right now; it’s taken an unexpected but very welcome detour, and it has some of my friendships in a tailspin. It has made me take more than a moment to look inwardly and caused me to spend some serious time listening intently. It has made me think of last summer when my husband and I had to attend the funeral of one of his co-workers that took his own life. Wow, you must be thinking, “What could be so serious that she’s thinking about that”? Well, it wasn’t the funeral itself, but what happened afterwards that has got me thinking about this gift called friendship. A few of us were walking back to our cars in disbelief, when one of our friends said, “Let’s pretend it’s my funeral, and let’s go to Hawaii and everyone can say those wonderful things about me”. Although he was mildly joking and really trying to express how all of us were feeling about what had been said in the service, I–in typical speak before you really think fashion–said, “How about we just forget the funeral part and Hawaii and work to really show and tell you how great we think you are and how much we value you in our lives?” It was a solemn moment as we all just kind of silently agreed that our future and the definition of true friendship had just been re-aligned.
Well that was 6 months ago, and even though I have always tried to show and speak love to my friends, I find myself back in the place where I am trying to define what a real friend looks like, and how I can walk that out daily. I have been quietly laughing with myself when I think about my friends together with the scripture that reads, ”Don’t forsake the gathering of the brethren” in a deep tenor voice. I know good and well that the scripture is not in reference to friendship, but for some reason I keep thinking, I’m not smart enough to put those two together so it must be the Holy Spirit trying to teach me something. He is.
He’s back to teaching me the same thing that I thought I had learned after each child I had was born. I would find myself deep in newborn mode and overwhelmed by motherhood, while somewhere nearby was a friend, looking for me, and because of my intense focus, I had temporarily put her on the shelf while I figured out how to be a mother to 1, then 2, then 3. He’s back to teaching me not to solely rely on myself, or hide until I’ve got it all figured out and can present it with a pretty bow. No, He’s reminding me not to forsake my friends while I’m in the trenches trying to figure it out, or to neglect my God-given need to gather with them.  I have a DEEP God-given need to gather with them. Some call it extroverted, some call it social, but a friend of mine calls it being a sanguine on a level all my own. That definition is my favorite because I love people. All people. But I really love my friends.
They come in all shapes and sizes, and lately they have been coming out in full force while I admit I have been trying to resort to my old ways. I’ve gotten phone calls of encouragement, letters of congratulations, molten cakes for celebration, and even a couple of looks and comments that say, “You are in way over your head sister!” But this time, I’m listening intently and watching carefully over the gifts that have been sent my way. I need them to be the powerful force that God ordained them to be. The Bible even says it’s better to have a friend who is close in Spirit than a brother who is far off in heart. To me that means it’s better to re-visit my promise last summer to tell my friends how much I love them and let them know how much I value them in my life, even if I arise from the trenches with mud on my face to do it.
So here I am, 3 weeks into this new chapter of my life and so grateful that this time around the mountain I have clearly heard the voice of the Holy Spirit reminding me of the friendships that I require to help me successfully reach the other side. I’ve also come to terms with the reality that some of them may not make it on this journey because it’s a journey that requires selflessness and understanding on all of our parts, and an extra portion of grace for me while I journey on, and not everyone is equipped for all of that right now. But there are some. They are the one that have been cheering for me everyday, lifting my arms, watching my babies, baking me cookies and counting my calories. Those are the ones that I’m keeping close by, because I’m finding that these journeys do come along more than once in a lifetime, and you gotta have friends.
Marsia, sweet friend, I love getting the chance to read what I know has been on your heart. I am cheering you on every step of the way as you journey into a new season. I’ve memorized the cheers and I’ve got the pom poms ready!! I’m so proud of you and excited for all that God has put before you. You know I’m all about the extra portions…I’ll give it in grace and molten cake!! Love you friend!
Marsia- You are so right on about friendships. While we are all so busy, as friends, we are understanding of that. And yet, If we ever needed anything, it’s so nice to know that there are people that will have your back in a heart beat. God gave us friendships~It’s His plan that we don’t have to do this journey alone. Have a blessed day! :}
Marsia, Very true. since I left my old church. Im searching for real friendship. And God knows what I needed and provided sweet friends for the perfect season in my life. I got to treasure them because most of them showed me and confirmed what God is telling me…I’m in my life right now, because of the valued friendships in my journey .
Marsia,
Great word my friend! God inspired and a life giving, Thank you for being transparent with your heart. I am trusting that you know full well how much “our”(people who call you friend) world would be so empty with out your fingerprint on each of us! GO FOR IT ALL… you have been equipped,ordained and positioned for it.. Watching as you storm the gates! Love you my friend!
In the 3 yrs since I moved to Texas I can honestly say I have the greatest friends I’ve ever had. I’ve learned through so many of my friends here, by example, the verse in Proverbs that says, A Friend Loves at all times and It has made a huge difference in my life!
I love that we have become friends! Our friendship is fairly new but I value you and love you like no other!
p.s. I need to make an appt with you to do that thing we talked about before I go to Maui!! (Now that’s a true friend, thanks girl) ; )
Marisa I loved this!! And need to reread weekly! Thank you for sharing your heart with us!!!
Just know sweetheart that I have your back, sides, and front! Your are the best and so glad to call you FRIEND…maybe even best friend -besides Jesus.hahaha
Marsia,
I can so relate!! I went through what I felt like was a dry spell with friends for about four years. After I had my third child I felt like I needed to go into hibernation mode for a while. When I look back at that time I feel like I missed about four years of my life. God desires us to be in spirit filled,love driven,long lasting friendships. I think there are certain seasons of our lives where God puts people with us to teach us,grow us, or even use us in that situation and I have been in the midst of them all!!:) I am so thankful for all of the long lasting friendships God has put in my path.
I love the way you love people and the way you relate to people. I wish I could take you in my pocket!!:) I am so thankful that our paths have crossed at this time and look forward to many more memorable moments with you.
You are an amazingly beautiful friend!
Love you,
Maree
Marsia,
Thank you for your amazing words you shared. I am so thankful for your friendship and I know that you are a treasure in so many lives. It is so true that we need to let people into our lives and help us carry the load. I am so thankful that God brought you into my life and I am so ready to cheer you on during this next phase of your life. Thank you for the Godly example you are to us and for sharing such life giving truth with us.
Marsia,
You have such a wonderful way with words and expressing what you feel from your heart. I still remember the first time I met you and instantly connected with my heart and spirit. You are one of the most giving and encouraging friend I’ve ever had. I am very excited to see you walking in faith and obedience to what the Lord has to offer you. I love how you always do things with a passion and 100%. I know God is going to bless you in your journey. Thank you for being there when I was at one of my lowest points (Christmas a year ago…you remember!). I will never forget the joy you brought me on that day. I love you and am so glad to call you my friend. Be blessed!
I love you blog about friendship but right now all I can think about is how anyone could tell you anything except “you can do it”! Life is unfulfilling without a challenge to stretch us and cause us to grow more reliant on our Savior. I know this is your season to experience God even deeper as you shine more brightly than you ever have. I love to see God’s people taking a chance that He will come through for them. Love u friend!
Marsia, my true Woo friend. You are a friend magnet everywhere you go, and I love it that you are reaping friendship in your time of needing support. I need to meet the molten cake friend because I feel she could be my friend too!
We are cheering you on as you have done for so many of us. Go for it! Shine! I love who God made you to be and am anticipating amazing stories of what He will do in and through you, with all your friends walking with you.
Bravo!!! I have often thought while men compete in sports, women compete in relationship-which is quite divisive. Such a scheme of the one who doesn’t want us to walk in the unity and support friendship we are designed for as a body. You spoke to that need so well- thanks for the reminder of what it is really all about.
Marsia, this is so well written. You can do this thing that God has marked out for you…we’ll just make sure you get plenty of “girl-time” along the way. : )
Marsia!!!
Amiga Mia!!! I hung on every word! I saw the commission to friendship as it was also a prophetic word from the Father to you, full of His wisdom and heart protection for the season ahead. How I love how you heed his wisdom and am humbled and blessed to be counted among who you call friend! But truly YOU ooze friendship on all you meet … it’s one of my favorite things about you.
Even after seeing you at Ulta yesterday, and hearing you talk about making it to lunches with friends because you knew it was important … because you had heard his voice. I thought WOW, you is being a good steward of the wisdom He has given you … I know He will increase it as you are in this season of STEWARDSHIP!
Con todo mi corazon y gran amor!!!!
~Ris
“He’s reminding me not to forsake my friends while I’m in the trenches trying to figure it out, or to neglect my God-given need to gather with them.”
I have tendency to go inward when things get tough or when I’m super involved in life. I am thankful, as you have shared too, for the friends that are with you no matter what.
I’m sure those that are most close to you are so thankful for the words you’ve shared here. Praying blessings over this next season in your life.