She hated herself, almost as much as she hated him. She had not always been the hating type. She had once been gentle and kind, but life had not been gentle and kind to her. Today, she hated that she had followed one more time. She had followed her fear, instead of her heart, and she had followed this man into this room, because of another set of empty promises, and smooth words. But all the kindness went away as soon as she had consented.
Once he had heard her “yes” he looked at her differently. Suddenly his touch was not so much about her, as it was about him. He became rough with her as he led her into the back room. Moments ago, he had seemed so attentive, and almost thoughtful. It had all shifted when she nodded her head to his proposition. It was clear that when their encounter ended she would never see him again. That’s not what his words said earlier, but his actions and tone spoke louder than his words ever had.
He began roughly pulling at her clothing, and bodily moving her into a position of submission and weakness. She gave in, her heart breaking again into little pieces as she silently refused to stand up for herself. Her body and her heart were dying hundreds of tiny deaths, and she choked back everything that was true about herself. How had she ended up here again? But she knew the role she was supposed to play, and she gave in to the actress who had betrayed her before.
This painfully familiar scene had played out before, and here she was again. Each act was familiar, and she knew her lines all too well.
Suddenly it all shifted. Light broke into the darkness of the room, and loud voices accompanied the crashing of the door as a group of men broke into the room, each one speaking, shouting. Oh no, please God! What was happening now? This was not part of the act. Things were quickly getting out of control.
A group of men surrounded the two of them while they were yet partially dressed. Hands grabbed at them both, shouting insults and orders. These were older men, and they were dressed in strange clothes. Was that the robe of a priest on the man standing in the corner? Wait, all of them were dressed in religious robes and garments. Some were quoting scripture passages, with venom in their voices. Who were they and what were they doing here?
One of the men grabbed the man who moments ago had been grabbing at her. He pulled the man close and began to speak gruffly into his ear. He pushed the man away, and he began to run. He ran out the door and quickly disappeared.
Now she was alone with these men. All strangers, all dressed in the religious attire of her people. She glanced up occasionally. She saw their eyes; none of them were friendly, none of them were kind. In their eyes was death, and it fed the slow death that had already been eating at her soul. Some looked at her with scorn. Some looked at her in her partially dressed state, and she could see that look that men have when they look at her, a mixture of lust and contempt. She looked at their eyes, but couldn’t bear it for long. The look in their eyes made her feel so small and weak.
She heard their conversation, but their words didn’t make sense to her.
“Where is he now?” one asked.
“I understand he is nearby. Someone said they saw him in town just a few hours ago,” another murmured.
Clearly they were not referring to the man they had just sent fleeing into the sunlight, but she had no idea who they were discussing. It seemed their conversation was in many ways more about this man than about her, but who?
It seemed she would soon find out, because several of them grabbed her and began to drag her out of the house.
“Oh please God,” she thought to herself, “please allow me to at least cover up! I can’t go out there half uncovered like this.” But she didn’t dare speak. These men clearly intended harm. She knew that the law of her day gave them the right to kill her. Not just kill her, but to pummel her with stones until she died. Could this be why they had broken in? To kill her? Was the man they were talking about the one who would have power over her life or death? Fear shot up into her throat. The shame she was feeling already was swallowed up in the sudden realization that she could die today. She began to think to herself that maybe she deserved it.
She was aware that they were approaching a great crowd, and the men pushed their way through. Her fear and shame was magnified as the multitude began to turn and notice her. At the center of the crowd was a man. This seemed to be where they were taking her.
They threw her at his feet, and the dread began to choke her like a hand around her throat. She saw a pair of sandals and the strong legs of the man, but she dared not look up. They began again to hurl accusations at her and quote the law. This was it. They had brought her here to die. The rage and anger in all the voices was tangible; she could feel the weight of it. They wanted her dead. Their voices had death in them.
“Master,” they finished. “The Law says she should die. What do you say?”
They finished speaking and the silence hung heavy in the air. The crowd murmured uneasily. All the eyes turned toward this man. She was certain that he was the one who would decide her fate today. She was afraid; no, terrified, but she had to look up. She had to see who this man who held her life in His hands.
With what might be her last ounce of courage she looked up into the face of her judge, and her breathing stopped. Like the other men’s eyes, His gaze was a shock to her system, but for a completely different reason. He was looking at her. He was not looking at her body, He was not looking at her nakedness and shame. He was looking right back into her eyes, and she was seized by the stark awareness that He saw her. She wanted to hide again, but this time because she felt that He could see right through her. She felt that He could see every dark corner of her heart, and His gaze never wavered.
But even that was not the thing that seized her. The thing that paralyzed her lungs and her heart was not the intensity of His gaze, it was the fierce and piercing kindness with which He looked at her.
She was half-dressed, fresh from the bedroom of a stranger. She had been thrown roughly into this public square, and her story laid out for her neighbors and these strangers to hear. He could see in her heart every bit of the hatred; the fear, the loathing of herself and others. And He … well … He … He loved her. She could feel it, and this made her squirm even more than the shame she had felt. At least the shame was something she felt she deserved; but this?
“Well, Jesus, what do you say?” a gruff voice pushed again.
Jesus? Oh no, Jesus! This was not just a man, this was the Man. This was the man that the entire countryside had been talking about. Not just a man, but many said He was the Messiah, the Son of God. Now she had to look away. The fierceness and intensity of the sheer love in His eye had overwhelmed her; and now, what if this was God she was looking at? Her eyes fell.
And then He knelt. In front of her, God got on His knees. He moved towards her and not away. He lowered Himself to the ground where she lay in guilt and dirt. His silence was terrifying but His nearness was somehow comforting. He breathed deeply. She thought she saw a drop of water hit the ground. A tear?
A long and weighty silence passed as He ran His fingers through the dirt. He was mingling in the same dirt that stained her. She looked again at His eyes. He seemed much more concerned with her than with the pressure of the crowd.
He continued to look at her, and she realized something. His gaze seemed to do something different to the death in her soul. His eyes seemed to inject life right into the place where death was screaming at her. In fact, the death from the other men’s gaze seemed to shrink back in the face of Jesus’ unrelenting eye contact. Something in her settled down. It almost seemed as if something left her. His look filled her with peace, and she almost felt … clean.
Then He stood and looked at the crowd with the same unmoving look. He walked right up to the man who had led this mob, looked him unwaveringly in the eyes and said, “If one of you has never sinned, you throw the first stone.”
The air changed. She felt the weight of accusation physically move from her body. Men and women alike turned their gaze from her and Jesus. Many began to walk away, looking down.
His attention was already back to her. He reached down and took her hand, and helped her stand to her feet. His eyes still firmly fixed on hers, looking deep into her heart, He asked, “Where did they all go?”
She wasn’t sure if He meant the men and women in the crowd, or the screaming voices accusing her in her head. Both were gone.
“They are gone,” is all she could say.
He looked at her. He saw her. He knew Her. He had somehow cleansed her, and sent away those who would have killed her. He looked at her with the most powerful eyes in existence.
He looked at her and said, “Go, and stop surrendering to the weight of your past. Stop giving in to the actress who betrays you. Stop backing down when you could stand up for your heart. Stop believing that your experience has determined who you really are. Stop seeing yourself as a slave and see yourself as a daughter of the Creator and Sustainer of all things. Go and sin no more.”
And somehow she knew. His Words had made it so.
Amazing. I love the part that says "He knew HER."
love it
Dude…dude…
Wow, thanks for telling that familiar story in such a way that it touched even my heart, my experiences, my soul! I could see myself there in front of all those accusers, there with Jesus. I could feel His love and His forgiveness and the life He imparted. Thanks Bob!
Beautifully written.
Dang!
Once again you allowed God’s anointing to pour out into your words.
*tears*
With one look He cleanses us; with one gaze of His eyes into our inner most parts He forgives us, and with one glimpse of His fire piercing eyes, He loves us.
Keeping my eyes on Him today.
Thank you for writing this Bob. Absolutely beautiful!!
~Maree
You do know how to breathe new life into an old parable.
And that last paragraph breathed new life into ME!
STANDING OVATION!!!!! Absolutely love your expounding upon this story! It pierces my heart!
"His silence was terrifying but His nearness was somehow comforting". Great blog Bob. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks friends…I am glad to see my manfriends reading here at DIB…I feel somehow comforted. I carry this picture of what it would be like to interact with Jesus…exhilirating, terrifying, fun, touching. I keep trying to capture it…
Loving the feedback
Your experience does not define who you are….Great word, well written, Thanks Bob, for continually giving us works and pictures to saturate us with Freedom so that we can share with others.
Wow!
Whoa…. I had chills while I read this. So powerful.
Bob, Great interpretation of a beautiful encounter! I loved it all, but your line: "Stop believing that your experience has determined who you really are." Speaks volumes to me.
And PS: Thanks for making me cry, again.
"With one look He cleanses us; with one gaze of His eyes into our inner most parts He forgives us, and with one glimpse of His fire piercing eyes, He loves us."
Wow. Just fell in love with Him all over again.
Thank you, Bob Hamp.
Holy cow. That was fantastic, Bob. I'll never read that story the same way again. Geesh.
Well………….wow…….one of my all time favorite encounters with jesus……"go and stop surrendering to the weight of your past". A mazing….. "stopseeing yourself as a slave but see yourself as a daughter! Yes..the best sentence ever!!!!!
Thanks for a life giving interpretation!!!
I have to tell you Bob…my boss read your article because he actually went on here to read the devotional I wrote. Well, the story brought him to make a decision that he would not have otherwise made without the Lord revealing to him how judgemental he was being towards someone. It was awesome! I got an email this morning..and I quote ..
"Now, how did the Lord speak to me Amy? The cover article about the prostitute and Jesus – “if one of you has never sinned, let him cast the first stone” – this was an affirmation (along with your comments yesterday evening) that made me realize I have had the wrong perspective and I've been judgemental…"
How cool is that?? Thanks for taking the time to bring His beautiful convicting life giving word to our hearts through this written piece!
Wait – a new perspective? Thinking differently? From Bob Hamp?? Well now. Who'da thunk it.
Dude. More, please.
Bob,
Extraordinary!
Amy, that is SO COOL!! I love how cleverly God gets through to us!!
“Go, and stop surrendering to the weight of your past. Stop giving in to the actress who betrays you. Stop backing down when you could stand up for your heart. Stop believing that your experience has determined who you really are." This and that "God got on his knees" before her. WOW! Don't ever stop bringing what God lays on your heart! I just love how much He uses you for my freedom, and everyone else's. We are all so blessed!!
Thanks friends…I am glad to see my manfriends reading here at DIB…I feel somehow comforted. I carry this picture of what it would be like to interact with Jesus…exhilirating, terrifying, fun, touching. I keep trying to capture it…
CRYING…very good!!! lived it!!!
I love the voice you bring to the Gospel- one that reaches the heart in an impacting way. it s a joy to watch the revelation over take you until it is expressed.
Bob, what an amazing picture you painted with your words…the colors were vivid, the tension so thick, the emotions so real. How can a person meet Jesus, this Jesus that you so vividly portrayed, and not be changed? This is who my Savior is…and I want everyone to know Him…his compassion, his mercy! I'll be sharing this link for sure! Thanks, Bob!
Reading this brought such joyous tears tonight, Bob. I absolutely adore it.
Wow!!!!!!!!!
Wow, amazing imagery…it’s almost like a first-hand account. Great job, Bob!
This was really good. From my perspective this phrase stood out to me:
"He was looking at her. He was not looking at her body, He was not looking at her nakedness and shame. He was looking right back into her eyes, and she was seized by the stark awareness that He saw her.
He continued to look at her, and she realized something. His gaze seemed to do something different to the death in her soul. His eyes seemed to inject life right into the place where death was screaming at her. In fact, the death from the other men’s gaze seemed to shrink back in the face of Jesus’ unrelenting eye contact. Something in her settled down. It almost seemed as if something left her. His look filled her with peace, and she almost felt … clean."
In a society plagued with lust and pornography which many men in and out of the church struggle with or have dealt with in the past, I saw this as the blueprint for how men should look at women. Our wives and daughters are so used to the way the first man in the story relates to them, over-sexualized and existing to satisfy the lust of their eyes and flesh, that they are scarred and often haunted by it. They also have come to anticipate or expect it. But Jesus was different, tempted in every way yet without sin. This story is an example of that. Other men only noticed her nakedness but Jesus noticed her.
With the Spirit of Christ living in me, I don't want to and don't have to be like the other men. I want to break-down the existing stereotypes and bring a feeling of safety, peace and purity to the women I interact with and I know many other men who feel the same way. Powerful story Bob.
Doug, I am so glad you caught this…this was very intentional….it frustrates the dog out of me that men think that we need to LOOK AWAY when we see something that provokes out lust. What if we need to deal with our hearts and LOOK DIFFERENTLY? What if we could actually GIVE instead of TAKE with our eyes?
Great comment Doug!!
Praise the Lord
Bob – wow. Thank you for an incredible discription of what was more than likely taking place before the Pharacies tore her out of the house. You gave an incredible visual of the whole event. Eye opening & tear pouring and thought provoking, heart healing and Jesus loving!
We are called to love just like Him even in the dirt and sin.
LOVE IT!!!
Captivating!!!! My heart is captivated by your description of our Lord.
Beautiful post, Bob! Thanks.
I had to sit in silence after that one for a bit. I will be chewing on the truths in this for a while. Thank you, Bob, for speaking the Lord's heart to us.
Funny that I read this on this evening after this further affirms what God has been speaking to me the last two days. Thank you Bob…and thank you Lord!
Wow, I never thought of it that way before. I loved how it said "go and stop surrendering to the weight of your past", I hear "stop using your past as an excuse for your actions today", stop using it as an excuse to not resist the temptation to sin or fail". I am going to keep this one as a frontlet before my eyes from now on. God bless you and thank you! Your messages have blessed me beyond measure! In the book of Acts it says "he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed". May you be refreshed by the presence of Abba.