Family Matters
posted on September 1st, 2010 / by Stacy Burnett / 40 Comments“If you think about it, your favorite memories, the most important moments in your life … were you alone? Life’s better with company.” ~ Ryan Bingham, Up in the Air
A few months ago, I had the genius idea to have a garage sale. We had so much stuff we didn’t need anymore and we needed some extra money for our vacation in November, so I decided it was time to bite the bullet and sell it all! I excitedly told my husband, Travis, of my plan. He wasn’t nearly as excited about it as I was, so I asked my mom and sister to get involved with this crazy endeavor. Thankfully, they shared my enthusiasm.
For weeks, we got things ready for the sale. It took us two trips in two Ford Expeditions to empty out our storage unit, which held a lot of furniture and other things that belonged to us, my parents and other family members. Friends brought over things they didn’t want anymore. We bought labels, got a permit from the city, posted the sale on Craigslist, and for a month, we were neck deep in never-ending garage sale preparation. Our house became Garage Sale Central.
Finally, it’s the day before the big sale. My mom, sister and I decide to get together at 1:00 that afternoon to organize all of our stuff and tag a few last-minute items. Then, out of nowhere, my dad decides to bring over all of my Nanny’s (the name we called my grandmother) things from storage. And he doesn’t just bring them into the house. Oh, no … he dumps bags and boxes full of dishes, pots, pans, glasses, pitchers, linens, blankets … all kinds of stuff … under a tree in our front yard! Here, we think we’re almost finished, and he brings over at least two days worth of stuff for my mom to go through and price!
But as we were going through all of her stuff, a funny thing happened. The craziness of the day, the overwhelming 100-degree heat and the frustration of having too much to do … it all just disappeared, and we lost ourselves in a sea of memories.
“Remember when Nanny made popcorn in this pot?” my mom asked. She began telling us stories of the times my grandmother made popcorn for the family and how it was the best popcorn she ever had.
“Hey, this is the pressure cooker Nanny used to can all of her vegetables. Oh, those green beans were so good!” I said as I remembered all the meals my grandmother had made for us and all the fun times our family and friends had around the dinner table.
At that moment, I realized that it wasn’t about all the things she had; it was about all the time we spent together. What made it so much fun and so memorable were our relationships and just being together.
God made each of us relational. One of the first things Jesus did when He started out on His own was surround Himself with a group of 12 men. He loved them and built relationships with them. He loved being with them so much that He even spent the night before He was crucified with them. And then, after He rose from the dead, He went back to spend time with them. Jesus understood the importance of relationships.
In his book Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them, John Ortberg refers to a study on relationships that tracked the lives of seven thousand people over nine years: “Researchers found that the most isolated people were three times more likely to die than those with strong relational connections. People who had bad health habits (such as smoking, poor eating habits, obesity or alcohol use) but strong social ties lived significantly longer than people who had great health habits but were isolated. In other words, it is better to eat Twinkies with good friends than to eat broccoli alone.”
God never intended for us to live life alone (Genesis 2:18). We are meant to do life together. It may not always be easy, but in the end, it’s always worth it. I wouldn’t trade a minute of the chaos of the garage sale for the memories we made that day.
“My family is big and loud but they’re my family. We fight and we laugh and yes, we roast lamb on a spit in the front yard. And wherever I go, whatever I do they will always be there.” ~ Toula Portokalos, My Big Fat Greek Wedding
precious! it made me cry because yes, the memories we have of my parents are the sweet times we all spent together
I will have that twinkie…thank you very much!!! As a woman who has had isolation forced upon me as a child…I have not learned to completely walk away from it, although that truly is my heart. I LOVE this….helps me understand the longings of my heart. Thanks!!!
Well bring on the twinkies then!!! Great post Stacy. I think it's one of my Stacy favorites! Love you!
Just read this to your Dad. Could hardly get through it for crying. We both loved it!!! I also laughed as I pictured your Dad putting all those things on the lawn thinking it would not take long to tag. What great memores!
I love how you talked about Jesus and His twelve. What a great example to all of us in seeing the importance of relationships!
Loved the post!
What happens if you like to eat Twinkies alone?… Seriously, though, thank you for this wonderful reminder. As an aspiring writer I spend my days punching keys at home. These days, relationships are something that require intentional effort. Good for the soul…
This made me tear up — absolutely hit home –I recently lost my mother and five months before that, my husband. My home has been "transitioning" and downsizing possessions — went from four bedroom home to a two bedroom apartment and now into a one bedroom apartment. My priorities had to shift, as well as every square inch of space in these tiny living quarters. Weighed every knicknack and possession carefully before donating the items. Memories and tears flowed! These are our "relationship" legacies. We all have them – Thank you so much for writing this! Very inspiring!
Loved this….. made me cry (in a good way) thinking of my precious family who live in India….. so far away but love that we can just talk on the phone, laugh & cry together.
Thank you all for your replies. You've blessed me so much.
Isn't modern technology great? I love that we can still "be" with our families and friends even though we're miles (or continents) apart! Thank you for sharing this with me.
Angie – That's hilarious! I definitely love my alone time, don't get me wrong.
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I am so excited to see your new career unfold. And anytime you're ready for some friends, Amanda and I can come meet you for lunch!
Thanks, Mom! It was a very eventful time! Between all the stuff on the lawn and the spilled lemonade, it will definitely be something I will treasure in my heart. Love you!
Thanks, Rebecca! Love you, too!
Thanks, Lisa, for taking the time to comment. I hope your heart is full with wonderful memories today.
This makes me cry. You are so blessed to have such a close family. This was written so well that I can picture you all out in the driveway sweating and laughing at the same time. I love you all and you truly bless me to have you all in my life as an example of sharing your lives with others.
ohhhh, Natasha!!! I am so sad for you. But you have a lot of us who LOVE you here!! I hope it helps a little.
Stacy,
so good, like Carol I can see everything thing you wrote, you are a talented writer to be able to have your readers picture the scene as they read. Kevin and I are hoping our family will be the beginning of what you share with your family, so precious! Great job
jenny puckett
Jenny, thank you so much! That means so much to me. We (the Packs, Neelys & Burnetts) love you!
Thank you, Carol, for taking the time to comment. It means so much to me.
brought tears to my eyes! Family is so precious! Thanks Stacy.
I love this Stacy!!! Its so true!!!your such a great writer,luv ya;)rebecca
Stacy, you are so right. Life is about the moments and at the end of the day that is what is important. I know when I look at my life, I do not focus on all of the other things and stuff but, the moments that I have been so blessed to share.
I love twinkies and my peeps, knowing that this combo will extend my life has has made my whole week! Love you!!
That's so true, Stacy! Life is not about the things – it's about relationship. I know a gentleman who has 6,000 sq ft of things and is so lonely! I love twinkies & I love connecting – it's why a Cheers bar was such a long running series – a place where everyone knew your name. Might not be the best of habits, but it was done in community! Thanks for sharing – I can just hear the laughter, conversation, and yes, a few tears as you sorted through your Nanny's things. I'm glad you had the memories!
Stacy,
This article on family is going down as one of my favorites!!:) I am all about family and the importance of it. My favorite quote,"God never intended for us to live life alone (Genesis 2:18). We are meant to do life together. It may not always be easy, but in the end, it’s always worth it. I wouldn’t trade a minute of the chaos of the garage sale for the memories we made that day."
Thank you for the reminder of looking past all the chaos and to just enjoy and love each other. That's what life is all about!!:)
~Maree
absolutely love this post!!! I have always wanted close relationship…I am extremely relational;) like most people didn't already know that!! hehehe!! Oh I just love the truth in this post!! brightened my evening. bless you!
Stacy, I loved this!! It is true- the importance of family, relationships, connection. And as an avid scrapbooker, I am all about memories!! And I loved your quote, "it is better to eat Twinkies with good friends than to eat broccoli alone.” Cracked me up! Good stuff! =)
Stacy, as I read your post I cried as usual. You have a way of describing times and relationships that cause me to remember my own good times with family and friends. This is truly a God-given talent. We tend to get so involved with life, we forget to connect as often as possible. I truly relate to the garage sale experience! I enjoyed the read. Pat Brogdon
Janeil, Thank you so much for sharing with me!
Aww! Thanks, Rebecca. That means so much.
Rhonda, I am so blessed to be a part of your family now! I can't wait to see you all in a few days. I know we're going to make some memories on Sunday!
Pat – Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I'm so glad it reminded you of some precious times with your family. ~Stacy
Celeste – Oh, I wish I scrapbooked more often. I am just not disciplined enough. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment.
Joyce – Thank you so much for your sweet, thoughtful comment. Please know that I'm praying for you this weekend as you go through Barry's things. I hope that you'll be able to share a lot of memories with the other family members. Love you!
Girl, I will have Twinkies with you any day!
Thanks for taking the time to comment. Love you!
Melynda – You are so right. I hope that man realizes that it's not about how much you accumulate, but how much you connect with others. Makes me so sad for him. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment.
Amy – Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. You are such a blessing to me. I can't wait to get together for more pictures soon!
Ok you had me at Ryan Bingham!! I LOVE this post. This is my life!! My big fat Texan life and I believe in everything you said here. Way to go!
Stacy, I don't know how I missed this post the other day. I loved it! I'm still chuckling about the quote: "…it is better to eat Twinkies with good friends that eat broccoli alone." This is such an important concept, and sometimes we have to be intentional about choosing community and not allowing ourselves to become isolated.
This is very good. I love spending time with family and building a history. It's always fun to reminisce. Did your garage sale turn out to be successful?
Really touched my heart in many ways. Thanks for sharing your heart Stacy!