Even God Can’t Fix This!
posted on October 14th, 2009 / by Carin Prickett / 36 CommentsHave you ever had a time in your life when you thought, “This is so screwed up! Even God can’t fix this!”? I have. I was just 18 years old. I was a college dropout, but not for the usual reasons. I was a singer, and I was already doing what I was going to school for. I was traveling with different ministries, singing on Christian television, doing concerts in small venues, and working at a local recording studio. I was walking in what I believed was God’s call on my life. Every day I would think about how amazing God was and how good He was to me. Then the unthinkable happened. Some well-meaning friends fixed me up on a blind date with a “good Christian” man. I went out with him, and he raped me.
I remember going home after it happened. I was living with my parents at the time, and they were out of town. I must have taken 10 showers just trying to get clean. Then I got my pillow and blanket and curled up under the bar counter in the kitchen, so my back could be against the wall … so I would feel safe enough to sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, I realized I had bruises all over my body, my lip was cut and swollen twice its size, and I had a black eye. I felt ashamed and responsible. I remember saying, “God, I don’t even know if you can fix this one.” I turned on the TV hoping the noise would drown out all the noise in my head. The TV was set to the local Christian station. A teaching show was coming on and opened with this song, “The seed of faith is all it takes to move the mountains in your life.” I thought, “I am being crushed by a mountain.” As I began to listen to the Word being preached, I felt the love of God come over me. I decided to take a shower and as the water ran over my beaten up body, I sang a song we were learning in choir: “I know that He, is Lord, He, is King, He is Lord of everything.” As I sang, God began to flood my heart with His love, and I was strengthened in my soul. After I got out of the shower, I sat down on the floor in the bathroom and cried my heart out to Him. I mean I cried tears, and I cried out with a loud voice: “God where are you? How could you let this happen to me? I’m not out there partying! I’m serving you!” As I got quiet, God began to hold me with His precious presence. Then, in a still small voice, he spoke: “There is nothing that is too difficult for Me.” I responded, “What man would want me after this? How can I ever trust again?” Then, in a still small voice, He spoke again: “I have created such a man.” I said, “Okay, God, if that’s true, you must sign, seal and deliver him to me. I am done with men and dating until my heart knows it’s You.”
Throughout the next two weeks, God began pointing out things in the Bible that were character traits my husband would have. He showed me areas not to compromise in and things I needed to adjust in my life. During this time, the sweet Holy Spirit led me in personal deliverance from rejection, fear and the pain of that awful event.
I was working at a local church as a youth leader, and it seems like I was always there. One Sunday evening I was walking down the hall in a hurry when I passed a room where the singles’ pastor was talking with a very handsome young man. I didn’t hear him, but as I passed by the door the pastor said, “Hello.” The young man asked the pastor, “Who is that girl?” I heard my name called, so I went back to the room. Now, I couldn’t have been more uninterested in men at that time. But nonetheless, the singles’ pastor introduced me to him. I happened to be good friends with his sister. I thought He is really cute, but, like I said, I wasn’t interested.
Over the next two weeks, I ran into him a few times and would turn and run away. But he was persistent. He even anonymously paid my way to go on a retreat with the singles just so he could get to know me. I remember wondering, “Is this guy the one?” After a while, he asked me out. I abruptly responded, “I’m fasting from dating. I’m believing that God will bring my husband to me.” I didn’t see him for a couple of weeks. Then after church one day, he chased me to my car. I tried to get away before he could talk to me, but he was too fast. He said, “There is a Christian concert this Saturday, and I have an extra ticket. If you would like to go, we could go on a non-date type thing. You can even drive your own car.” I laughed and said, “Okay, I will go.” Everyday that week, he showed up at my home just to talk. We spent hours talking on my parent’s sofa. Without knowing it, he was systematically telling me everything God had been saying to me in private about my future husband. God used this man to show me how tender and caring my heavenly Father is.
Through our conversations, I became convinced he was probably my husband, and I must tell you, it scared me. On Thursday evening before the Friday “non-date” concert, we ran an errand for my Mom. I looked at him and said, “What is your deal? You know I am fasting from dating. Yet you keep coming over to my house. What’s up?” He looked at me with kind, piercing hazel eyes and said, “Maybe I am him, and I should get to know you better.” I looked him straight in the eye and said, “I am so sorry I asked!”
Two weeks later he told me he knew I was the one he would marry. Six months later we were engaged, and now, 25 years later, he is still the love of my life. To this day, I get goose bumps when he touches me.
Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Trouble will come; but because of what Jesus did at the cross, it has lost its ability to damage you permanently. There isn’t anything He can’t do! He can heal you and restore what’s been taken if you will just run to Him. He can make a tragedy into a fairy tale, just run to Him. He will answer. He knows the way out and, believe me, there truly is nothing He can’t fix!
Carin Prickett, Married to Dr. Josh Prickett, and mother to two grown children, Jonathan and Whitney. Â Carin’s greatest passion in life is helping people connect with God. Â Recognize His voice. Â And cooperate with Him.
That is a beautiful story! I love you so much. Thank you for being our guest on DIB.
Carin- your story is SO powerful. I know God will continue to use your story to minister to MANY. There are so many out there ashamed to tell their story, but Jesus offers hope and healing and..yes..even a fairy tale ending! Thank you for sharing this- it touched my heart today. Bless you..Celeste
What a lovely story of pursuit by God. I could hear your voice in the words you chose, but more importantly I could feel the very heart of God through them. I love your passionate love for Jesus and how it changed an unthinkable tragedy to unshakeable faith! You are a blessing!
Carin-
Thank you so much for sharing this story. Your walk with the Lord is inspiring!!! And knowing you is a gift!!
Love ya!!
Thank you for sharing your heart. God is amazing and you have a beautiful way of impressing that upon others. I am grateful and blessed.
Carin,
Your life is a true testimony of God’s unfailing love and grace. Thank you for all that you do for His Kingdom! You are an amazing woman!
Love You,
Maree
Carin…..thanks for sharing….amazing how HE does move mountains. I love seeing Jesus in you….I’m in tears writing this…Although my story is different, I was so encouraged to hear about Father’s healing and redemption in your life. Blessing on you today!! Much love!! Vicki
Carin- I can totally connect with your “even God can’t fix this” at the beginning. Thank you for sharing- I love how our Father works everything out differently for every person; but He does work it out. I found myself on the kitchen floor backed up against a wall at the age of 28 after a 7-year failed marriage. Talk about rejection and shame and judgement– of the family kind. It took me longer than a few weeks to be delivered and restored, but I am now living a fairy tale of God’s own design that I could never have created. Thank you for sharing your scope of view and encouraging others to perservere! I love you and am so glad that our connecting was of the God-kind! m
Carin,
Thank you for sharing this part of your story with us. I love how God turned things around, and restored trust to your heart again.
God continues to use you to draw me to Himself.
Hugs and love ~
Love, love, love you Carin! I have heard this part of your testimony many times and it still brings me to tears. Thank you for sharing your heart. You inspire me.
Love,
“Little Carin”, your unofficially adopted daughter, your “twin” and your friend.
Carin, I love you and I love your stories of God’s overcoming, they have changed me!
Carin, I am so moved to hear this whole story (I had only heard bits and pieces before). Your many testimonies about how God has delivered, healed, and restored you are a constant inspiration to so many lives!! I too have been at a place where I thought, “even God can’t fix this” and that is such a lie! I love you and am forever grateful for the “spiritual mothering” you have given me
NOTHING can separate us from the Love of God in Christ Jesus! Pain, hurt, wounds, violence – NOTHING is too big for our God. Thank you for sharing the pain as well as the victory. Beauty from Ashes – Carin, You are beautiful inside and out. I love you -
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. he has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecc. 3:11-12
Carin – thank you for reminding us that God CAN bring beauty out of ashes, making “everything beautiful in its time”. And you are a living testimony of that promise. Love, Joanna
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. Your words are powerful, and I know they will bring healing and hope to many, many people.
Stacy
Wow! What a wonderful story. It is amazing how the Lord can take a horrific, disgusting, and terrifying story and make it lovely, beautiful, and glorious. Praise God! I am so thankful to him that he provided this man for you! I got goose bumps when you recounted him saying, “Maybe I’m him”!!!!!! That is a line straight out of a movie. What a wonderful romance you have. Thank you for sharing it.
Carin – the first thing I want to do when I get to heaven is hug my Father’s neck and thank Him for His faithfulness. He is so much bigger than anything the enemy can throw at us. Thanks for being so open. You are so beautiful!!! Love Ya!!!!!!! Stacy
Wow! Thanks for sharing such an intimate part of your testimony. Love that you rested in the Lord waiting for His timing and His “man”.
Thanks for sharing your story-I know that was huge. I’ve been in your exact shoes-except that I suffered 15 years of an abusive marriage. I am free now-and happy- God is awesome and I have 4 awesome children, so I know that there is someone out there that I deserve-but like you were-I’m fasting from the whole men-dating-relationships thing. I love your testimony and it was inspiring. Thanks.
What an incredible love story … both of God’s great love and your husband’s gentle but persistant love in winning you over. Have you read “Redeeming Love” by Francine Rivers? Thank you for sharing your wonderful testimony of God’s redeeming love!
Thank you for sharing your testimony!
Carin,
What an amazing story of God’s faithfulness in your life! He truly will do exceedingly, abundantly more than we can imagine in our lives, if we will just step aside and allow Him to work!
What a beautiful picture of you….you radiate Jesus!
Carin,
Thanks for your transparency. Your story is a great example that nothing is too difficult for God. It reminds me of Corrie ten Boom’s famous quote: “There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.” Thanks for reminding us not to wallow in the pit, but to run to the Lord with our pain. Thank you for being our guest writer. I’m excited to get to know you better.
Oh Precious Carin – You are a beautiful reflection of God – a crystal jar reflecting His Glory! Your heart truly reveals how God can fix all things – He does make all things new – He is our restorer, rebuilder and rewarder. Your testimony has such power – we are overcomers! Thank you for sharing God in you. You are beautiful. Love you Deep!! Maria
Your transparency is such a testimony. What an amazing God we have and how truly awestruck I am at His faithfulness to those who love him. He gives us beauty for ashes….Love that so much. I echo the sentiments by Maria – He is our restorer, rebuilder and rewarder. Praise God!!
Thank you for sharing the sweet heart of God as He gently walked you out of a traumatic event and into your destiny! What a beautiful tale of redemption! I love it! He is so gentle and loving with us – even when aren’t aware of it. Like someone else wrote, I appreciate you being vulnerable with us strangers online!
Isaiah 61:3 (Amplified Bible) To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion–to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit–that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
You are ONE AMAZING Woman of God! I began reading your story … not knowing who “YOU” was until I got to the end. I am one grateful sister-in-the-Lord for HIS faithfulness to you and your faithfulness to HIM.
Josh and you are a perfect two-some in so many ways!
I’m priveleged to share ministry with you!
Thank you for glorifying the Father in your testimony and life!
Love,
wow….thank you so much for sharing this. God is so good. I love the way that He moves! I miss you this year! You have blessed me so much in the last 2 years!! Thank you!
Much Love!
Mandy K
Carin, I am so blessed by you. Thank you for sharing so intimately with us the glory of God. He is the author of so many fabulous fairy tales. Much love, Renee
The power of a testimony is that it holds its power! Even 25 years later, in your case. Even thousands of years later, as in the bible’s case. Every story that holds the redemption of Jesus in it CAN & WILL impact lives. You have reminded me to share. To open up my mouth about what God is doing in my life. The enemy tried to silence me this morning. But I am loosening this muzzle. Thanks!
wow! amazing story! thank you so much.
What an amazing love story…not written in the traditional sense, but written in a way only God can write. He took your ashes and made them beautiful! This story deserves to be told because it points right back to the ONE who brought good – no, AWESOME – from evil.
You went out on a limb…God rewards faithfulness!
Carin,
I want to thank you on part of ALL the DIB writers for writing for our readers and sharing this AMAZING story of God’s faithfulness. On a personal note You know how much I LOVE and appreciate you, thanks for taking this girl under your wings! You are a gift from God! A million thank yous!
Great Love!
~Ris
Carin, thank you so much for sharing this testimony with all of us. Sometimes i feel like tragedies in my life have ruined apart of me and I’ll never be the same. The bible begs to differ and God used you to point that out to me. Thank you so much! You truly are everything Marissa always talks about!
Love, Sarah
I’m a testimony of How “God can Fix Us” too!! I’m still being fixed but love what He’s already done. He has done more than I could ever imagine or dream for myself!!
Thanks for sharing Carin! And thanks for your heart to challenge women to go deeper with God!
Love you, Jessica
Carin, Thank you for listening to HIm!! That was brave! That was bold! That was being Him to a lost, hurting, dying world!! I am truly afraid to unravel what He asks me to sometimes, but honestly I do want Him to take it and make it beautiful with His love shining through it to hurting hearts!! By laying this out there, Satans attack became His glory! Take that ugly devil who lost his own beauty!! I do not know you, but I am proud as your heavenly sister just the same!! I too had unbroken trust! My step father molested one of my siblings and it was our dark secret to carry and my burden to carry for a loooong time! Not only did I fail to protect him which I couldn’t conceive at the time wasn’t my job, but there were so many confirmations that this man was supposed to be our God sent father. Honestly, I always felt creepy around him and lived and slept in guarded fear, but I never wanted to trust a man, EVER! Then, God brought me MY prince and I fought letting him in, but the rest is truly history and I am married to the man of my life! Your story resonated in my heart! I love it!!