Do these GENES make me look fat?posted on January 12th, 2011 / by Vanessa Howard / 32 Comments
My mom and I were chatting on the phone about Thanksgiving preparations when the conversation swayed to one of my cousins. My mother expressed her worry over how my cousin was just “too thin,” and my mom stressed concerned for her health. “Well, mom, she could say the same about us,” I joked, “only the pendulum would swing the other way about how much we weigh.” We both giggled, but that joke has really bothered me.
I come from a stereotypical Hispanic family; every reason is a reason to celebrate – with FOOD! I love my peeps! Fried food, butter, bacon, cheese, and lard are a few of our favorite basic cooking essentials. Then we always finish off with something sweet (fruit does not count). And for the most part I can’t think of many members of my family who are “thin.” By the world’s standards, you could say, we have “fat genes.”
As a young girl, I was “skinny” (no haters please), could eat whatever I wanted, and not gain a pound. I graduated high school a whopping 89lbs, granted I’m only 5’ tall. Enter freshman year in college, again the stereotype; however this time it was the “Freshman 20.” No big deal, a little meat on my bones. I finally could “fill” in a dress in places I never could before, and I was enjoying my curves a bit. Then came the “Sophomore 15”, “the Junior 10”, etc. The spiral was becoming more dizzyingly out of control.
I continued to eat as though each day should be a day of all out feasting. “Eat, drink, and be merry,” I had always heard growing up. “You must not be hungry; you didn’t scrape your plate clean?” “We’ll start the diet on Monday.” “It’s just a few bites.” “You’re young, you can eat whatever.” There was a problem, I was beginning to not like my curves, and food was beginning to consume my every thought. Giving birth to two children, gravity and age, multiplied the toxic cocktail of foodaholism. Monday came, and went, the few bites turned into more than I could count, and it was all about just making myself “feel” good or not “feel” at all.
Sound like an addiction? Is it a behavior, a habit, am I a demon-possessed glutton?
Fast-forward my life to present day: I’m 35 years old, and have spent $1000’s of dollars on books, seminars, personal trainers, diets, doctors, pills, vitamins, drinks, foods, programs. I’ve spent countless hours playing mind-games, in tears, stressed, frustrated, and well … here I am still hanging’ on to my freshman 40+.
Many days, I have to honestly admit I have felt like a complete failure … I’ve hidden, been shameful.
One morning last week, the inaudible Whisper came, “Why do you believe everyone else, but ME?” The Voice of Truth. I have spent more energy and dollars on “trying things” that quite frankly, money can’t buy. Trust. I was humbled as The Holy Spirit entered in and showed me I haven’t trusted that my Creator has ALL of the answers to the perfect chemistry of my body. He has counted every hair on my head, and declared it good. He loves me more than anyone on this planet ever could. He defends me when I don’t even want His help. He gives me The Right Answers, when I ask, but He never pushes Himself on me, no … He waits. He’s waited for over 35 years, and now I WANT to listen. Inconsolable places, addictions, behaviors, patterns, dead places of my heart, He – in an instant can/will/ and does Heal. I don’t want to walk ashamed, and He says we shouldn’t.
Hear my heart, this journey, my story, is a long one of going down the wrong path. “I am the Truth, The Life, and The Way,” He whispers. My way has led me down the wrong road, the long road, the off-the-beaten road, and if your journey has too (with food, or any other substance), please know this:
James 1:5 “If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him.”
He answers you, sweet child, without shaming … freely He gives … – says The Whisper.
For so long I have made agreements with the liar, who said, “Well, you’re just like everyone else in your family. You have fat legs just like… You have fat cheeks just like… You have a big butt just like… You’re destined to be fat. You just have fat genes. Most of your family has died from complications of obesity, and you probably will too.”
The thoughts that have crossed my mind have gone even deeper, even worse, even uglier; but know this: They are lies! And they come from the Father of Lies! (John 8:44) Hopefully you, too are tired of the agreements that have cheated, and left you feeling empty?
John10:10 (The Message) “The thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.”
Look at ME, Love Me, Trust Me, Obey Me – says The Whisper.
Be encouraged, Jesus has already rebuked the liar and given us the Authority to do this. When a thought comes to you, join me in saying out loud (because Satan cannot read our minds), “Thank you, devil, I know that you are a liar and a murderer, and you have been from the start, but My Jesus already dealt with you. You know He shed His blood, for me, He defended me “in public” and made a mockery out of you, He stripped you, dis-armed you, and now all you have are your lies … I am NOT just like everyone else in my family because I am a co-heir with Jesus, so now I have His genes, He even put a tattoo of me on Himself, and that overrides all of your lies!”
Start the New Year with me and let’s Trust The Lord with All of our Hearts, and All of our Minds, and All of our Souls!
Perhaps, you’re not sure how to get started? Read the WORD, AND put on your favorite worship music, so you can know how to dis-arm the liar, take your “substance,” and place it on the altar of sacrifice and place The Source on the altar of worship. You WILL do some damage to the “dominion of darkness.” Perhaps you can start by reading Colossians, its 4 chapters, and it’s an Awesome display the “gene” transplant! Last, but not least, put on your PHAT genes – the Pretty/Hot/ and Testimony kind (ok that’s my silliness), but tell somebody. You are not alone in this battle, but we shall overcome with The Blood of the Lamb and the Word of our Testimony!
Vanessa married the love of her life and best friend over 9 years ago. She is the “eclectic” home-schooling mother of 2 hilarious and curious little boys. She adores being the head cheerleader for her warrior husband and future heads of households’. She loves to study the Word of God, biblical history, and is happiest with piles of books surrounding her. Vanessa’s passionate about mother’s and young women being confident in the knowledge of their worth in the Kingdom of God. She and her family foster their love of dogs by volunteering for a local Boxer rescue association.