Destiny In Bloom

Companionship, SEX, & the Honor Experiment

Companionship, SEX, & the Honor Experiment

posted on June 30th, 2010 / by Marissa Star / 102 Comments

Have you ever been with your girlfriends having a great night out and one of them starts taking pictures to remember the fun evening and after the cute smiling pictures inevitably someone suggests a picture where you all strike a sexy pose?   I have. And I have friends that are really good at taking these kind of pictures, one will throw her shoulders back and puff her chest out a little, one will give the “facebook-made-famous” pouty lips and yet another will rock her alluring eyes while I stand their completely and utterly DORKIFIED. Simply because I can’t do sexy! Oh I’ve tried, only to look hideously ridiculous!!! So I’ve officially stopped trying. My lack of  the ability to do sexy has had me thinking a lot about sex lately. Oh … wow … I said it. All my close friends know just how much saying the word gets me all flustered and embarrassed with blushing cheeked, heebie jeebies.  But why … why do I get that way? I’m totally married and totally allowed to do it, it’s pretty obvious I’ve done it at least four times considering I have four sons. There is no question of consistency since they all pretty much average 16-20 months apart. Why the intense embarrassment and the “Oh uh-uh you didn’t” feeling? I started asking myself a lot of these questions shortly after listening to a sermon by my Pastor called Happy Husband Happy Home, (You can listen to it here: Happy Husband Happy Home), He breaks down what he has learned are the three greatest needs of a man within marriage, listing them one through three, three being the greatest need. So here they are: Companionship, SEX, and Honor.

My husband and I have always been big time BFF’s in that we are two verbally passionate about life people, passionate about our opinions (which has it’s interesting moments … I won’t lie) but equally passionate about making up. Neither one of us can go too long before we break down and pursue peace probably selfishly because at the end of our crazy day, well … we are both in need of a good friend. But after almost twelve years of marriage I’ve been learning something new, just how crazy big of a key honor is to unlock my husband’s heart to me. I could address companionship and sex first but really it wasn’t until my heart cried out to God to understand what honor was to my husband, (my uniquely crafted in his mother’s womb man- created to receive honor unique to his design), that He answered me with a challenge- a kind of honor experiment. A Holy Spirit inspired plan to kill me … Ok I’m being facetious but totally honest at the same time.  The ultimate sweet spot where hidden pride would get squeezed out of me so a revelation of what honor was to my husband could come.  A revelation that would free me to be a better recreational companion and free me in my heart perspective of sex. This whole journey has got me a little freer and that’s alright … who wouldn’t want to be a little more free?

I’m going to start with honor because it wasn’t until I got my brain and heart wrapped around it that my perspective of the two other area’s were changed. What is honor anyways? It’s a good word right? But what does it really mean? Well there are the obvious do’s and don’ts that come with this word when you are a wife.

Don’t:

Don’t Demean your husband in private or public

Don’t expose his shortcomings

Don’t question his authority in public or in front of your children

Do:

Do publically and privately praise him and esteem him

Do encourage and support him

Do lovingly reinforce his authority and family oversight with your children

Ok so when you’re a wife who’s done a “don’t” according to this black and white view of honor you pretty much know you’ve blown it and crossed over into the very bad zone. Apology is never easy but when you mess up badly it’s easier to apologize for it than it is to apologize for rolling your eyes when things don’t go your way or for sarcastic mutterings under your breath. Ouch! Maybe that’s just me but there is a lot of life that happens that doesn’t fall into these “don’t” categories … what about the gray areas of life and our daily heart attitudes towards our husbands? I had a lot of questions for God after starting to pray for an awakening of what honor in my marriage should look like; and then being encouraged that what the Lord was stirring in me He is wanting to do in women’s hearts as a whole as my Pastor shared the importance of it to our church body. I’ll be honest, at first it all just seemed vague until, being inspired by the Holy Spirit, I set out on a honor experiment. I was on a kind of a spiritual high having heard from the Lord and so so very excited about what God wanted to do in me and my marriage.

The plan behind the experiment was: to open myself up daily to meet the other two needs while looking for ways to honor my husband as unto the Lord (who gave me the bright idea anyway.) I knew it would take mental preparation because at the end of the night this Mama of four is just downright tired but I was determined and energized by thoughts of what God might want to do to strengthen our marriage … until … my first “opportunity” to honor my husband with my words (or lack of them) knocked my butt to the floor. I got up to dust myself off only to be knocked down several more times by my very own pride. And then to top it off I knew I was going to have to get myself in the right frame of mind for intimacy that evening. Four days into it this experiment and things weren’t going well at all! Every little subtle attitude (of my own) toward my husband that I usually dismissed where in my face and piercing my heart since I had given the Lord permission to go there … he did! I thought about how I danced to the guillotine with excitement and now I was in a full on battle to the death of ME. In the past where I had taken on areas of my life with the mantra, “Die … die … die!!!,” Instead I was screaming out, “Run and take cover!”

I was beginning to realize that all the words I used to honor my husband didn’t seem as powerful if I couldn’t bridle the ones that I idly used in passing. And I’m not talking words that are a full on assault, I am talking for example about a time my husband asked me if I could fold and put away laundry that day and as I thought of my busy day, I in a bothered stressed tone said, “Sure if I can get to it!” All the while thinking: Ya, there is no way I’m going to get to it. Oh but there was the Holy Spirit, with all permission granted saying, “Oh baby, that was ugly wasn’t it?” Still stressed I answered the Lord, “Mm hum … ok yes … it was ugly.” “So you’re going to need to apologize, then fold and put the clothes away right?” “Seriously?! Ok … yes Lord.” So being sick to my stomach with my pride I had to sheepishly walk out to my husband and admit my wrong. And then the Lord graciously said to me, “Honoring your husband isn’t always doing it right but it is being quick to repent when you know your wrong and showing intent to change by making steps towards it.” I walked away with tears in my eyes as my pride kneeled to the wisdom of humility.  And then on day 11 a break through came at the hands of obedience, one that ultimately affected my heart in the area of sex, the second greatest need of married men according to the list above.

Talking about sex is a doozy for me so I’m going to have to go back a little. After leaving a very worldly lifestyle of drug addiction, my first experience of not thinking that marriage was a horrible institution was when I moved in with my Uncle and Aunt for a season. We (My two cousins and myself) were standing in the kitchen when my Uncle full on grabs my Aunt’s butt and they kiss, yes right in front of us, and she lets out a little I-totally-loved-that giggle. As much as I was trying to tell my mind, “Don’t you dare do it, don’t you dare imagine those two together in the Adam and Eve way!” my heart leapt with the encouragement that there were Christian grown ups with kids and years into marriage that were still in love. The truth is: it rocked my world with hope. But now I’m the grown up twelve years and four kids into this fabulous adventure with my husband having to make choices to keep the love alive. Everything my heart cried out for in that moment is mine to cultivate … because it doesn’t just happen.

The world and busyness are constantly trying to pull couples apart and we have to on purpose create connection. Conversational intimacy is a big connector for most women in marriage; in a good heart-to-heart conversation women will undress their souls like any love scene from a movie. Shoes thrown across the room, their dress hanging from a curtain rod and then the trailing of their intimates to the place where they have shared their hearts bare to their mate. When a woman’s soul is already naked it’s not so hard for them to get naked physically. Yet it’s usually totally opposite for a man … they can throw their clothes down and be ready to rock n’ roll and on the other side of unity they are able to bare their souls with all that’s on their hearts. I don’t understand why God made us opposite like that. Maybe so we both lay down a part of us and our process to experience the power of true intimacy. A kind of intimacy that costs a little from both parties, and well, if it costs something then we can own it.  And now, I can for sure own this part of my story … day after day this sex-embarrassed woman who had to get over her personal agenda, bad attitudes and mom-of-four tiredness to honor her husband in this area was the one who walked away honored by God with some healing. As I opened myself up more to my husband with the attitude: I can change, I can have more fun and I can embrace my inner dork (all those looks I try to make that just aren’t that sexy). With every little thing I did to have more fun (and what felt like at the risk of totally not being received or rejected) I realized I was getting more free in this area. It’s a different kind of naked when you step outside of your comfort zone to change and it’s scary but freedom my friend, is so rewarding. I began to share with my husband what God was doing in my heart, which lead me to apologize with tears and vulnerability for all the years of being so embarrassed and closed in my perspective of sex. I never made a conscious decision to be that way; I just fell into a routine and never thought anything about it. So I’ve made the choice to honor my husband in this area and be a fun adventurous life partner which means I’m determined to flirt more, maybe grab his butt more, giggle like I totally love it and well, don’t be shocked if you see me. :)

As far as companionship goes, we could definitely be less selfish, but this isn’t as hard as the other two. Well, maybe I’ll take that back, some of you are married to hunters, and going hunting with my husband would be hard especially if I had to touch blood. He doesn’t hunt but he does enjoy boxing and UFC fighting and I ignored he even liked it for a couple years, because well … the blood. I had read before I heard the sermon above about being a recreational companion for your husband and seriously thought, “Ok Lord, I’d go to a fight, I’d do it,” pretty much knowing my husband would never spend that much money on a ticket. Later that day I get a phone call from my husband that a friend had dropped off two tickets for him to the big Pacman vs. Clottey fight at the Cowboy Stadium. I was actually shocked God worked so fast, but I determined to go and have a good time even if I had to see blood, which I didn’t, thank you Jesus! I cheered, yelled, threw my fists around and reveled in the admiring look of my husband as he enjoyed me trying to enjoy what he loves. That look is tattooed on my heart and continually encourages me to look for ways to enjoy what my husband loves and pour honor on him as I do so. What does your husband love? Ask the Holy Spirit for creative ways to enjoy that with him, it will only bless you in return.

I’m still going to be the girlfriend that can’t bring sexy to “strike a pose” pictures but I think I’ve learned that I’m pretty HOT to my husband when I keep my mouth shut and my little attitudes to myself. I’m bringing SEXY back by being playful and free in my attitude toward sex and I’m pretty darn CUTE in my husbands eyes when I take on being his recreational companion.

As you’ve been reading my story what has God sparked in your heart about honoring your husband? Does it terrify you and excite you at the same time that the God of the universe has a specific plan to open your husband’s heart to you through honor that might include a little necessary death on your part? Scared? Don’t be! For the momentary pain that comes from death brings about the resurrected fruit of life that it sweet, mature and feeds your marriage for life. I challenge you women single and married to think about honor differently. Think about sex and companionship differently through the lenses of honor, ask God for the how-to that is right for your marriage and your man! He has a plan and it’s tailor made for you!

Lord,

As wives and women who desire to be married one day, Lord would you give us a revelation of honor and just how much it means to men. Change and heal our hearts of all the stuff that may stand in the way of us being able to give honor. Thank you for your prophetic wisdom and insight that allows us to meet the needs that our men are sometimes unable to articulate. Lord help the woman that feels her husband is un-honorable how to partner with you and win him over with honor, even honor he may not deserve. Thank you Lord you are the Healer of the breach and Restorer of broken walls!! We commit our marriages to you to be transformed by honor. Jesus bring glory to Yourself in our lives!

In Jesus name! Amen!

102 Responses to “Companionship, SEX, & the Honor Experiment”

  1. Well, woo hoo thanks for writing so confidently about such intimate issues. Um, I would write more but I am already practicing being cuter and keeping my mouth SHUT. ;) LOL even if means keeping my mouth shut about the crazy Craigslisters that show up!!!

  2. Wow!! Great post! Thanks for the challenge and your transparency :)

  3. Well, what can I say? Coming from the person who always says to me, "Sarah, I don't even know what to say about that!!!..**gasp**" I think the tables have turned and I'm really proud of you Marissa. Of course I had my giggles because I know you, but I've never been more proud of you I think. Reading this allowed the Holy Spirit to show me some CERTAIN things. Things I need to work on with Steven.

    When I get back home should I be expecting to see you grabbing Yuri's butt lol?

    Lover you!

  4. this is just amazing Ris. Love you, love this. Your openness astounds me and is His tool to work on the lives of so many women! I am literally crying now, God is so good to speak when we need it as this is all exactly what I've been going through lately as well. *hugs*

  5. Amazing and wonderful post!!! Thanks so much for sharing your heart and encouraging us!!! :) ))

  6. YIPEE for freedom and honor and companionship and SEX!!! Love your transparency. Many marriages will benefit from you putting aside your embarrassment and sharing your heart so beautifully. You ROCK!

  7. Love this post, Marissa. I, too, am on the journey of learning to keep my mouth closed and my opinions to myself, along with other things :) , so I'm glad to know I have a friend along the way!! :)

  8. Marissa,

    You’re bringin’ sexy back!!;) I think every woman should do an honor challenge with their husbands! I love how no matter where you are in your spiritual walk you are always seeking to go deeper. Thank you for being so transparent and honest about something so intimate and close to your heart.

    Love you!!

    ~Maree

  9. I think I'm pulling off your laugh as I read through this post. It's amazingly great, and one that so many of us women need to let soak into the very core of our being.

    Love you, and love that you're bringing SEXY back. I'm in total agreement with both Sarah & Maree. They've both written what I would have, if they hadn't beat me to it. : )

  10. Wow, Marissa,

    That is a fantastic article. Even growing up in a Christian home I've seen and felt the lack of honor for men, and quite frankly, have been searching and asking for help to learn how to honor my man. Now, why didn't I think to ask God?

    Thank you for sharing your revelation and pointing me to the place I should be going to get advise. I sense an experiment coming on.

    Keep 'em coming and blessings to you,

  11. Girl, that was some GOOOOOOOOD stuff!!!!! I appreciate your vulnerability and your honesty. OMG! If only I could be that honest in my writing. You have once again challenged me to be a better wife … and person. I am going to take what you wrote to heart. Honoring my husband is going to be my prayer beginning today … and like you, I don't think it's going to be easy for me (ugh), but it will have an awesome ending and that's what I'm looking forward to.

    Thank you for hearing the Lord and for posting this. It truly was God leading you to do it.

    Love you!

    Stacy

  12. Beautiful! Great words of encouragement and conviction.

  13. A very needed word for us women! Thanks for sharing your heart! You're good like that…. Love you! Veronica

  14. Girl, that was some GOOOOOOOOD stuff!!!!! I appreciate your vulnerability and your honesty. OMG! If only I could be that honest in my writing. You have once again challenged me to be a better wife … and person. I am going to take what you wrote to heart. Honoring my husband is going to be my prayer beginning today … and like you, I don't think it's going to be easy for me (ugh), but it will have an awesome ending and that's what I'm looking forward to.

  15. This was so completely transparent and God-inspired! Thank you for writing from your heart with such honesty. This will certainly help transform marriages and lives. I was so blessed and encouraged! It is hard in this day and age to be a woman who shows vulnerability and yet you did it seasoned with such grace. May the Lord bless your marriage one hundred fold!

  16. I love love love it!!!!!! Gosh Marissa……. I have a lot of dying to do as far as honor is concerned but Im going to allow the Lord to work in my life and my heart….. beginning today. Thank you so much.

  17. Ris,
    SO GOOD! Your transparency sounded just like I was reading from my prayer journel…seriously had to remind myself that I was reading about you! I too have been challenged with HONOR, as my natural filter doesn’t even reflect it. However, this past week my Pastor, Keith Craft, spoke on being Unstoppable by being intentional with HONOR…serious paradygm shift! So, as I am daily challenging myself to be the TRUE ME created by my Heavenly Father, it’s awesome to know that we are not journeying alone :0) Love you sweet friend! May you see multiplication in your marriage to the depth of transparency you have been willing to lay bare!!!
    Living Life Elevated,
    Shells :0)

  18. Blush…but ever so good. I'm going to be thinking this one over for awhile now…Folding laundry and the dreaded socks. You gave me much to think about, which is good, i have much much laundry. Thanks for sharing your heart!

  19. YOU SOOOO ROCKED THIS ONE RIS!
    Powerful, intriguing and oh so full of truth.

    Love ya!

  20. Ok Marissa that rocked my world and it was totally the LORD that I read that this morning! I LOVED IT! Thanks for sharing your heart. Loved your honesty in your writing and I felt like you were reading a journal entry I might write-well, mine would not have been as well written! I love how God is answering my prayers of things l need to work on and this is definitely one I need to! I love how He will enter your life and change things in 12 hours if we only ask! Excited about your web magazine too. I miss seeing you every Thursday! Ashlee

  21. Love it, love your heart and speaking the truth on a topic that others shy away from.

    I love this……"I’m still going to be the girlfriend that can’t bring sexy to “strike a pose” pictures but I think I’ve learned that I’m pretty HOT to my husband when I keep my mouth shut and my little attitudes to myself. I’m bringing SEXY back by being playful and free in my attitude toward sex and I’m pretty darn CUTE in my husbands eyes when I take on being his recreational companion."

    I totally get that and it always amazes me when my husband shares what he finds sexy.

  22. Absolutely FANTASTIC read! Thank you Marissa!

  23. As one who's been married only 3.5 years, you and Babs have both given me some much needed wisdom. I've been wishing that I'd had a primer in marriage before getting married . . . yet we have to learn as we go. Thank you both for sharing your experiences and your wisdom!

  24. Loved it! Thanks for sharing your life!

  25. You have defined what makes for a great sexual relationship between a husband and wife: A solid friendship, a willingness to die to self, a heart-felt desire to serve your mate, a heart surrendered to God and inviting his Holy Spirit to transform and playfulness! You have challenged all of us women to move past our comfort zones and into the playing zone! Thank you for sharing your heart and your journey. Bless you sweet girl!
    Nancy

  26. SO so so proud of you, Ris! Loved hearing this journey in your words and now reading them in your blog. How many of us need to be reminded again and again that honoring our hubbies is the key to their hearts and unlocks secrets in the heavenly realms! I sure do…so thank you…I love living life with you and I love you….B

  27. Great Words of encouragement!! I love a friend that will encourage my marriage at all times!! Love you!!

  28. Fantastic article!! You put words to some of the things the Lord has been stirring in my heart. Such a great article full of so much truth. Thanks for sharing!

  29. Marissa,
    Thank you for the message. Okay,,,,,, I know you're super cool momma and wife. but now i look at you and its beyond cool…..outstanding blog.

  30. Not only is this my favorite post EVER on DIB the cherry on top is that YOU wrote this!! Love it and can't wait to have a GNO night. More so I cant wait to put into action your challenge in my own life for my husband. Love ya, R

  31. WOW!!! I loved loved this!! Sooooo good…sooooo good!!!!

  32. Proud of you! You just stepped out and conquored while grabbing a bunch more wives to fight with with you. :)

    Rebecca

  33. Ris,
    You hit it out of the park with this one. I have been thinking a lot about Pastor Robert's sermon these last 2 weeks as well, but my hubs has been out of town, so this is the first time I will get to practice some of this. Thanks for opening it up further for us and helping us think about how to apply it from a girl's perspective. Excellent post!
    love you lots,
    Pam

  34. Ris, loved this!! Such a great post about honoring your husband. And doesn't it feel so good when the 2 of your are in sync with each other. I always wondered why God would put complete opposites together..Hello, to die to ourselves!! And its so easy to get into routines and bad habits (and attitudes) Thank you for this- lots to chew on!!! Love ya!

  35. Absolutely amazing! You are my favorite. Thank you for being honest and transparent…it touches us all…especially me…even if sometimes via butt grab :)

    Love you!

    Yuri

  36. So good! I loved the article and I love your heart!

  37. So proud that you totally did go there! Love that you are bringing sexy back! Thanks for the transparency and the encouragement to pursue honest and real intimacy with our husbands. You are married to one blessed man!

  38. Thanks for sharing your heart, Ris! It was awesome! I’ve been needing to work on so many things that are in your article but this truely lights a fire in me. It also gives me a guideline on what is important to my husband. Great writing and thank you, again!

  39. You, Go girl!!! That was totally awesome and so important! Love the honor challenge and your transparency! Keep writing from your heart.

  40. I too cannot make a sexy face if my life depended on it! I love your Honor Experiment, and I'm sure Yuri was stoked. That's some good stuff there. I need to think on that some more and examine my own heart.
    Love you!

  41. Ris-

    This was beyond beyond awesome!!! You had me laughing so hard with all the sexy looks and stuff. Thanks so much for sharing your experiment and leading the way:) love you girl!!!

  42. Considering I'm a 15 year old guy I can't exactly relate to honoring your husband, but It got me thinking that maybe I should set out on my own honor experiment. If I kept count of how many times I dishonored a parent even when I felt that I had the right to do so I would probably shock myself.

    I also have a habit of thinking If either of my brothers disrespect my parents I have the right to disrespect them at an equal or lesser amount. My brothers really push my standards upwards in a lot of places which makes me a better person, but maybe I should set my own standard in this area.. Great article.

    -Joseph

  43. Ris- thank you for opening your heart and life to all of us! I am totally passing this onto my friends as I am sure this is something pretty much everyone woman struggles with! Love you!

  44. Girl … you crack me up! How late were those craiglisters there to anyways? Wait to you start selling … it can be addictive :)

    Thanks for the comment friend!
    ~Ris

  45. Thanks Nicole!!!

  46. I DO SAY THAT!!! ANd well you do make me blush and *gasp* A LOT! ;)
    Thanks Princess and well you never know you just might see some butt grabbing … hahaha! Thanks for your friendship that keeps me young.

    I Lover you too!
    ~Ris

  47. Hugs right back at you friend! I love how God can knit hearts together by what he is doing in the Spirit … I know He will show you just how to do all that is in your heart!

    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  48. Thanks Gaye! Thanks for always being so encouraging!

  49. Thanks Bethani … I've always loved your freedom in sharing and teaching these truths … I glean such truths from your friendship as well and I so so love you!

    ~Ris

  50. OH I'm so glad to have a friend along the way too and well your company always encourages me! :)

    ~Ris

  51. I love how your heart beats to honor Rob … we've had long talks about this … can't wait to see all the fruit of your heart! You are a true heart sister! So proud of you … you really are an amazing wife!!!!

    Great Love! ~Ris

  52. Wow, thanks for the post girl. Honestly I am still chewin' on it, even talked it over with my man and found out some stuff I really didn't know about his thinking in this area. Wish I would have heard the sermon, we really love your pastor:) So I am still processing on this, it is intriguing area and to say that I have fully embraced it would be a lie, but I think four years into marriage was a good time to read it. Thanks for sharing some secrets about life down the road….;)

  53. Oh girl I want to hear that laugh! I need a raincheck:) And like I said to Maree … I'm blessed to be surrounded by women you challenge themselves to love and honor their men more … even if it means a lil' death … our heart talks have inspired great change in this heart. I am grateful and beyond blessed by such rich friendship!

    So love you friend!
    ~Ris

  54. Thanks Dez!

    Girl I pray your experiment bares the fruit your heart desires … actually knowing my God … I know it will!

    So blessed by words!
    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  55. Stac!!! Thank you friend! You knew I was nervous … so your words encourage and bless me so much! And well … your one of the most honest persons I know and you don't say what you don't mean which makes your words even weighter!

    Love you girl! ~Ris

  56. Thanks Mabrie!

  57. V! Thanks girl … can't wait to see you soon!

    I am so grateful for all the love and support you send my way !

    Love you! ~Ris

  58. Nicole I am so receiving that hundred fold blessing in Jesus name :)

    Thanks so much!
    ~Ris

  59. I know you will! I love your passion for Jesus girl … going after Him with you!

    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  60. Thanks Denise! I hope your thoughts made laundry go faster! With four boys I often fill lost in the piles;)

    Love~Ris

  61. Thanks Yvonnie! One who truly knows this Mama got me some freedom … haha! Thanks for being a friend for life!

    I love you! ~Ris

  62. Seriously miss you … need a summer reunion!

    Thanks for your encouragement and I know God is up to something and glad He confirmed just a small part here!

    Love your heart & love you!
    ~Ris

  63. Girl I love that He is doing the same in your heart! Awesome thing are to come … blessings on your marriage!
    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  64. Thanks Julie! Seriously get what you say about hearing what our husbands say is sexy … it's not always what we think:)

    Love ~ Ris

  65. Thanks Kim!!!

  66. Love that God put this on my heart and it piggy backed your blog … Jesus has marriage on His heart because He has us His heart!

    I'm blessed by your honesty ever time and ready to bring some roofs down with you!

    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  67. Thanks Kisha!!! You are so right about permanent structures … I love that! And girl I'm ready to build with you!

    Love ya! ~Ris

  68. Thanks Micah! Congrats on 3.5 and know God will grant you the wisdom your heart desires!

    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  69. Well, you did it again, girl…you knocked it out of the park!! I wish I could express how much this one meant to me!! Think I’m going to pass it around, there are more wives that really need to hear all of this!

    Oh, and I also can’t do a “sexy” pose to save my life! ;)

  70. Thanks Natalie!

  71. Nancy,

    Thanks for your comment and I can't wait to pick your brain more on this subject during our trip in Nov. I heard you talk at the meeting and I was thinking … I wanna talk to this fabulous lady!

    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  72. Beth!!! Thanks for always being such an encouraging friend! I love how well you know me and I can almost hear your laugh when you read this!
    I am honored to walk next to you in our endeavors to honor and respect our men more!

    Great love!
    ~Ris

  73. Thanks Jess! Love you too!

  74. Thanks Krista!

  75. Thanks Karen! I think your pretty cool too!

    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  76. Wow … I get to be the cherry on top … that made me SMILE! Love you friend can't wait to bootcamp soon!

    Great LOve! ~Ris

  77. Thanks Hollie!

  78. Thanks Rebecca … glad you're in the army of women I know who are purposely pursuing to honor our men to their destinies!!!

    Love you so much!
    ~Ris

  79. Thanks Pam … you are definitely an inspiring example!

    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  80. Love your heart.

  81. Amen to the … hello to die to ourselves part … my goodness is that the truth! Thanks Celeste and praying we keep those bad attitudes under submission to our precious Holy Spirit:)

    Love you lots!
    ~Ris

  82. Baby!!! This is totally dedicated to you! Thanks for making me better and being so lovingly patient with me. Thank you for letting me live in such a transparent way in order to give God glory for all we are becoming and overcoming! I wouldn't want to go on this adventure with any one else:) Thank you for holding my hands up when I am weak … you continue to inspire me with your love for me and others!

    With all my love!
    ~ YOUR Ris

  83. Thanks Jan! Totally bringing sexy back;) Your leadership is always so encouraging and it always blesses and inspires me!

    Great love! ~Ris

  84. Thanks Nancy!

  85. I miss you Georgia!!! May God cross our paths again! Thanks for your sweet comment and encouraging words!

    Great Love! ~Ris

  86. Thanks Jean!

  87. Thanks Becky, I am so blessed by your humility and willingness to repent to your husband … wow … that makes you a force to be reckoned with … a woman that can powerfully harness her husband's heart! Keep at it girl!

    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  88. Smashly!

    No one can touch the Smashly part of my heart … I just love you so much! I think of the days at CFNI that we linked arms and prayed … crying out to God for Godly marriages and hearts after Him! Love that though distances separates us … we can be connected in God. Love your heart and know God is revealing His own special plan for your marriage to you and you are going to ROCK it!

    Love you always!
    ~Ris

  89. I am glad I made you laugh especially since I know you love to laugh as much as I do! :)

    Thanks Amy … love you so much!
    ~Ris

  90. Joseph,

    I am so blessed by your maturity and love how the Lord took this and showed you a way to apply it in your own life … totally inspired by your heart! Blessings in all your endeavors to honor the Lord by honoring others!

    Great Love,
    ~Ris

  91. Thanks Nicole!!! Pass it on girl:)
    Love you back!

    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  92. I love that you talked to your man about this … it's always great to learn something new from their perspective. You are great wife for even opening communication about it … so proud of you … I know God will bless you and your marriage in coming days!

    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  93. Adultness and Ris … never in a million years would I think those two would go together:) Well with God all things are possible! :)

    Love you my friend and hello you are the friendship guru! :)

    Loving YOU,
    ~Ris

  94. Jess thank you so much! Book …hugh? Giggles and smirks … love that:)
    Thank you for sharing your heart with me and keep on keepin' on being such a great recreational companion!

    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  95. So glad to have a sista that can't do sexy posing either;P
    Thanks Britten for your words of encouragement … hope to see you in the Gateway halls soon!

    Great Love!
    ~Ris

  96. Thanks Suezanne!

  97. Umm … what can I say that 101 other people haven't said?! Yikes! What a lot of comments, Ris! But very well deserved, my friend, because this is a GOOD word full of wisdom! Thanks so much for sharing. Love you!

  98. Oh reading this was sooo much fun! Thanks for bringing light and humor to a sensitive subject. I'm spurred on and challenged to undertake the big experiment myself. Pray for me :)

  99. Thank you Tirzah! I love you too! ~Ris

  100. Praying for you Jen! I believe in you and know God will show you the way girl! :)

  101. For me this is the best article I have read of yours. It's so honest and encouraging. Maybe you could put all these great articles in a book for us. I for sure want to read this one more than once and will pass it on to friends. "I walked away with tears in my eyes as my pride kneeled to the wisdom of humility." As a writer that sentence really caught me. Love it!! So meaningful.

  102. Thanks for this….this was so good! (I may have read it before, but not sure….)
    It's always a good reminder for me to hear about how to honor my husband more…..it's something that at times I've been very poor at.