All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France
In The beginning:
Jon- Hey hunny, there’s an opening at my old church in Brownsville.
Me- Oh, that’s nice dear.
Jon- They have never had a full time Children’s Pastor before.
Me- Huh. Well that will be nice for someone.
Next day:
Jon- What are your thoughts about the position at my old church?
Me- Oh, I don’t really have any. I mean, we’re good here, right?
Jon- Well, would you at least pray about God’s will?
Me- Sure, get all spiritual on me …
The following day:
Jon- Did you get anything from God?
Me- Um, go and be blessed?! Gesh.
A couple days later:
Jon- I talked to the Pastor.
Me- Well, why did you do a thing like that? (I’m just keeping it real here people)
Jon- I just wanted to talk to him. Have you been praying about Gods will with this new position?
Me- Honestly? Um, I’ve been busy. But I’m good here.
Me (again)- What about my writing here?
Jon- You can write in Brownsville, can’t you? And just think of all the great blogs you can get out of this!
Me- What if I just stay here and write fiction?
True Story~
Truth be told, I knew the possibility of God speaking to me. It’s happened before. And I really wasn’t ready to think about the fact that God might be done with us here. I mean, I was practically living in the Promised Land. One night my husband approached me, and asked me to seriously pray about this because he felt very strongly in his heart that God was done with us here and was moving us on. His eyes were watery and there was almost an urgency in his spirit. He knew he couldn’t change my heart, and that any move we would make, we would have to be 100% united. I had to hear from God myself on this one. As I began to cry because the reality was setting in, I promised I would really seek God and pray about this. And I did. And within about 2 days, a peace overcame me about this next chapter in our lives. And as I wrestled with God over this life-changing event that was about to take place, He showed me a few things that I needed to deal with in my own heart. I was so focused on me that I couldn’t see God’s plan for our family and for the little lives He wanted to touch through us.
My conversation with God sounded something like this: “Lord, people travel from all over the world to visit Colorado. I live here!” “Every run and triathlon and bike ride a girl could ever want to do is right here in my backyard!” “My writer’s group- I’ve finally found a really great group and I love everything about it. I’m learning so much and love the people there.” “My church is amazing. Love the people so much. Really, love the people we work with.” “Lord, the trails and mountains yet undiscovered.” “And my girlfriends here are amazing. I finally found some friends that love me for being me, a place where I can just be myself.” Okay, so you can see where this is going. There’s a lot of ME in there! God couldn’t move my heart until I moved out of the way. And I did.
So here I am, knee deep in boxes, with stuff literally scattered all over my house (not a pretty sight, I promise). My kids have been in their pajamas for a few days, I can’t remember when they’ve had their last bath (or meal, lol). I too have turned in the clock for packing. Although I would love to spend my summer taking them to the pool and on adventures, we are on a serious time crunch. You see, the summer is also, as children’s pastors, the busiest time of the year for us. We are smack in the middle of camps. 2 weeks of VBS, and my husband also has a few events planned for our CORE group. And he’s also officiating his brother’s wedding in a couple of weeks in Minnesota (which we are all going to).
Here are a few of the lessons God has taught me along the way regarding change:
- Change is inevitable- If you are not experiencing any change ever in your life, you are probably dead, (sorry).
- When God is doing a new thing, you can either fight Him on it and cause delay in that change or you can embrace change with an adventurous spirit and say, “let’s do this Lord”. Either way the change will occur if it’s from God. It’s just a matter of when. (Hopefully it doesn’t take 40 years!)
- Take it one day at a time- When you think about all that needs to get done, it can be overwhelming. Today, I will do what needs to get done for today. Matthew 6:34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
- Ask for help- This has always been a hard one for me. My aunt Patty encouraged me the other day. She told me to go ahead and ask a few girlfriends to help with the kids so I had about 5 solid days to focus on packing. And it was so hard to ask for help! Why is it hard for us women to ask for help? I think it’s because we try to do it all on our own. But that’s not how God created us to be. And we don’t want to inconvenience anyone. God created us for community, to be there for each other. How can someone be there for you, if you never give them the chance? But you do have to be specific in what you need. Don’t expect people to read your mind, and then get offended because they weren’t there for you.
- Allow your kids to express their feelings- Whatever the change, your kids will go through an adjustment period also. If it’s a new job for mommy, your time will now be less with them. Or you might be more tired than normal. You might need to make a few special dates with them so they have some things to look forward to. If it’s a move like myself, they will go through excitement and also sadness. I have allowed my daughter to grieve the loss of her dearest friends while encouraging her that God will bring new friends. Remember how scary change can be for us as adults, the unknown can be even scarier for them. And I encourage you to pray with them regarding God’s faithfulness. He is always good.
- Do not neglect your time with God during a transition- You may be tempted to put your Bible reading and prayer time on the shelf, so you can get everything done. DO NOT DO THIS! If ever you needed to hear from God, it’s when He’s doing something new. If ever you needed to rely and depend on His strength, it’s now, not later. Trust me from experience. He will redeem the time. Time spent with Him is NEVER wasted.
“But seek first His kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Matthew 6:33
I entitled this post “Change Can Be Bitter Sweet” because while I am excited about the new things ahead at the church, and being near to family (sweet) I must also face saying goodbye to those who I will forever carry in my heart (bitter). The adjective for bittersweet is: pleasant but tinged with sadness. And that is where I am. I know myself well enough to know that even though change is hard and I do sometimes fight it, that God’s will is always good. I get in my comfort zone, and sometimes just want to stay there. But I have realized through all of this some wonderful little nuggets: (1) Wherever I go, God is with me and nothing will ever change that. My relationship with Him can only get sweeter (2) Whatever we do, or wherever we may travel, our family will always be together (3) Stuff is just stuff! I have been purging so much stuff and it feels so good! Although I like cute stuff in my house, they will never replace people and relationships!
So as my tagline is on my personal blog and in life, wherever this road may take you, pursue God and His plan for you, don’t stay in your comfort zone, and Enjoy The Journey!
Celeste, I haven't commented on DIB in too long. But this blog drew me out! I love that you wrote it like a conversation. If we were walking a Colorado path together (which I did 2 weeks ago on an adventure), I would thank you for sharing your heart. And tell you how much I gleaned from your honest hesitancy but willing obedience!!! Blessings on this new journey. Thank you for helping me see my own clearer.
Celeste ~ I was just telling my husband last night that we all need to get out of our comfort zones. If we stay comfortable, we're not growing. I know that for me, change has always been bittersweet. I know that God always has something better and I grow more in Him, but it's hard. I can totally relate to this blog (especially to the part about the kids … I moved seven times growing up). I wish you all the best as you begin this exciting new adventure in your life. ~ Stacy
Wow! Congratulations on a new adventure! My guess is that it will be even more exhilarating than the trails and mountains not yet discovered.
You will definitely find things to blog/write about here! And new friends waiting your arrival. Can't wait!
Celeste! You truly are a gifted writer! Blessings on You and your family with your move!
Janice
Crying…You are such a wonderful example of Gods grace and love to me. We are excited for your adventure coming, and yet will miss you so. I watch you as you reach out to little ones who are timid to step out on their own and your love gives them courage to do it. I watch as God moves when Jonathan speaks to the kids and creates something eternal in their hearts. You are just a freakin blessing! Praise God for YOU! Celeste! hug hug hug!!!!! May many good cups of coffee be waiting for you and id love to keep up with you and enjoy a cuppie on skypie with all you girls! love you!!!! xoxo
Hey neighbor,
Thanks as always for your honesty and transparency. Please know that we will miss you, but go with God. Be blessed. I know I will miss yelling across the street, and waving at you each day. I know that God has something wonderful for you, and being in agreement with Jonathan proves that. God is good, all the time – even when it seems hard. Love you sista!
Meredith
Oh sweetness, i completely understand. I was giving you a hard time but at the same time I did want to let you know that I do accept you. Your testimony helped me show grace toward my husband. I can tell from the pix that CO did exactly what you said it did for you. You look so free and happy and fulfilled. You inspire me and I love you!!! So glad we have fb so that we were able to reconnect and we can move anywhere and still stay in touch.
Cherise- thank you my friend!! I've already told you I will miss you like crazy glue! (well, not in so many words..) =) I truly believe God brought us together and He put us there at the same time to be there for each other. His plans are perfect! I know this birdies about to fly, but I also know that we friends forever! Our nests will just be a little farther away..lol.. Love you SO much. Thank you for 5 GREAT years of friendship~ Love..Me.
Such wonderful and inspiring words written on the topic of change! Thank you for sharing. I certainly needed these words now. You are a blessing to many!! And I am super glad that you decided to "step out" of Gods way.
I am so looking forward to being able to get to learn from, laugh with, and share with you with our MUCH closer adresses.
Celeste–your blog is so heartfelt. You will truely be missed by the Rock Congregation. I am sorry I did not get a chance to know you more. Thanks for all you have done for the children through the years–perhaps we can stay in touch via electronic communication. I know God has awesome things in store for all of you and your new (old) church has the best VBS in store for them!!!! Love, Thea Pearman
This area needs HIM more than any other area I have EVER been in!! My heart breaks for the families. My husband (whom is a doc) comes home from work, talking about delivering babies who are addicted to drugs…patients who are wanting drugs prescribed to help cope with marajuana addictions. It breaks my heart that sooo many people are soo lost!! With that all said, it gave me more peace about being uprooted from my "comfort zone" and getting moved over 2,000 miles away with a little one! Thank you for sharing your story with us and reminding me that i am not the only one going through "change!"
Blessings,
Stacy
You really are a great writer, and I know Mikayla and I will miss you guys very much. I hope your new live in Texas is wonderful. I can't wait to read all about it.
Just what I needed to hear. God is speaking change into my life right now, and while I am certain of His direction, it is truly "bittersweet". You are speaking my heart! I pray blessings over your move. Thank you for sharing!
Hey sweet girl! Good word. It blessed me. I can relate well to change when I gave up everything that I knew and loved to move here. Excited for you and look forward to hearing what God does in and through you. Wish we could've got together more! Keep in touch and continue to enjoy the journey. Love you!
you will be missed… and have one awesome place to return for vacations! Thank you for reminding me… deep breathes, change is good, embrace it, let it work for you…
Celeste!! You hit the nail on the head with this one girl!! I frequently ask myself, "Why is change so difficult?" It is a daily surrender for me to truly trust Him in every direction that life brings.
I love your ending,"wherever this road may take you, pursue God and His plan for you, don’t stay in your comfort zone, and Enjoy The Journey!"
Your writing is so inspiring to me because of the authentic practical truths that you bring to the table. Keep up the good work!! I can't wait to read more from you and I am excited for this new place God is taking you and your family!!
Love you,
Maree
Coli- thank you! I pray God would continue to make your path clear. As you seek Him, He will guide and direct your paths! blessings! Celeste
Stacy- It's so true isn't it, our comfort zone- while so comfortable can be a dangerous place. Sometimes God just wants us to take a step of faith and He will meet us there in that place. I am a creature of habit. Sometimes He has to really wake me up! But then when I do step out-I'm like, I never want to go back where I was. I'm sure glad He's in control, cuz every time I try and take over it's not good! Blessings to you! ~ Celeste
yes, probably very true. I am looking forward to our new adventure! =)
Aww. Thank you Christina! I hope there's no more giant mosquitoes for me to blog about..haha =)
I am looking forward to getting to know you! See ya soon!
Janna- yes, I'm sure you can so relate to this! But I am looking forward to getting to know ya'll and doing life with you guys! And of course, with a BIG cup of coffee..haha…
thanks hunny! I love you and love doing life with you! Let the adventures begin! =)
thank you so much Janice! =)
Michelle- you are too kind. Thank you. hug hug hug back to ya! Let's definitely get this skype thing working! We can totally do girl/coffee time over skype!! love you girl, you are quite the blessing yourself to many!!
hi neighbor! I have also enjoyed yelling across the street with you! Thank you for kind words. You guys have a great family, and I know good things are ahead for you! Blessings! Celeste
Hi Mima!! Thank you!! I know God's got great things ahead too! You know I am excited, just hard to say good bye. So don't pinch yourself too hard, cuz were coming! I love you and I will see you in a couple of days!! Love, Celeste!
thank you Debbie- Hope is really going to miss Mikayla and we will miss you guys. I will be blogging about our new adventures so you can stay up and our journeys! thanks for reading! Celeste
Hey girl- I will miss everyone here (including you!)! Thank you for always reading my blogs and being so supportive! Ok, so let's say it together..change is good, breathe, God's in control, not us! Glad we still have facebook to stay connected! Enjoy Colorado for me! =)
Hey girl! Thank you! I do agree, I wish we could have got together more too! I know you moved away from a place that was very dear to your heart. Sometimes we just have to step out in faith knowing that God is in control of everything. Love you, look forward to continuing to hear what God puts on your heart!
Maree, So true isn't it- change is hard, yet change is the inevitable! Thank you for your encouragement and kind words. I think it's so cool how our paths crossed at CFNI and here we again, crossing paths! Love it! Blessings to you and yours!
thanks Jeanne. Sometimes we have to get through the bitter to taste the sweet! I pray He would guide you and give you the strength that you need! =)
Rosie- you are so sweet! Thank you for reading! Thank you for your prayers during this time. We look forward to our many new adventures ahead!
Nadelle- A huge THANK YOU to you! Your words have blessed me so. Jon and I were privileged to work with your kids! They are truly a gift. I know you have quite the story to tell and I pray God would continue to use you to share Gods love and faithfulness wherever you go. I just love your heart, and I know we can keep touch with facebook and blogs. So, we will talk to ya later ('cuz I just hate good byes!).. =)
Jennifer, Thank you. =) I know you are going through lots of change right now! And yes, I'm looking forward to hanging out and spending time together with my new neighbor! Love you, and we'll see ya at the wedding! =)
Thea- we will miss you guys! We can definitely stay updated via facebook! Thank you guys for all of your support, and encouraging words! =) Blessings to you! =)
Do you wanna know what is bitter sweet?! You being in Texas and too far to share a latte':) lol!
Celeste … I just love … LOVE the dialogue part … thank you for being so vulnerable through the process and inviting us in to see what God might say to our hearts.
Cheers to this new season of life … just think your influence has broadened
Praying some kindred new friends who LOVE Starbucks and a good laugh your way!
Great Love!
~Ris
Babs- Thank you! You know what's funny- my husband does too. (maybe its a guy thing?) He likes change, and I like my little roots down deep ;} We're hoping this is it for a very long time! Thanks for the prayers, I'll take em! Bless you girl! =)
Rebecca- I'm so glad I got a to chat with you for a few minutes yesterday! I know we're still going to be 12 hours away, but at least now there's more chance of us meeting 1/2 way for a little getaway (San Antonio…) Would be fun? I know you of all people have the packing/moving stories! (that you would probably like to forget..lol) Thank you for that prayer, it was exactly what I needed! Love you, Celeste =)
You will be missed more then words can describe!!!! I love you so much my dear friend!!!
You rock, girlfriend. Totally blessed by this, even though I am reading it 7 months later
Need to keep this bookmarked because Ryan has always said he doesn't see himself always being an attorney- maybe wanting to go back into ministry again someday- yeah- talk about moving my cheese (someday.) Thanks for your perspective. Jesus is good like that, huh. You guys are awesome and gifted in what you are doing. Wish my kids could be there to experience it but I am happy knowing you've left a legacy here in Sylvia/Nicole/Luke to carry on. Kieran just told me the other day that she didn't mind going to 3 services in a row on weekend (I had strep and ry was on worship) because she really got into the story about Jesus telling the disciples to let all the children come unto Him. She said, "It was so good to hear it 3 times- i totally will remember it forever now!!" Love ya- Cort