She turned the corner he saw her and his breathing stopped.  Her form was a silhouette against the stained glass behind her, when she moved forward his heart beat faster.  She was beautiful and she was giving herself to him today.  She glided down the aisle and the light illuminated her dress.  He could hardly wait for her to come to his side.  In a few moments he would lift the veil, and kiss the woman he loved.

The veil separated them, though it was only a sheer fabric.  It was enough to obscure his view.  They stood face to face, and still could not see each other the way that they would soon.  For a moment she felt fear; what would he feel when he sees her?  Then she rested in the fact that she spent the whole day, in some ways her whole life preparing for this moment.  As the veil lifted, He saw her face.  And she saw him. Looking in his eyes she saw herself, not as in a mirror, but in the look in his eyes.

The veil separates and obscures the view.  It hangs between the bride and the groom, waiting for the moment of unveiling.  The veil of the lovers’ ceremony is a visible picture of the veil we read about in Jesus’ own love story.  We read throughout the scriptures of this veil that obscures our view of reality.  And we think often of the day when the veil will be lifted, and we will see Him face to face.  But do we ever think of how He made it possible for the veil to be lifted?  Specifically, Jesus crossed over to our side of the veil first.

Jesus’ journey from heaven to earth spanned more than geography.  He moved from the realm of ultimate beauty into the things you most dislike about yourself.  The things we hope no one ever knows about us, He knew and, purposefully, lovingly stepped right into them.  The thing you are most ashamed of and most try to hide, even the thing that is most hidden to your eyes. He lifted the veil and entered in.

The thing that allows us to lift the veil and approach Him with confidence is the assurance that He already knows what is underneath.  And He finds us lovely.

Paul tells the Corinthian church that there is a veil over our heart when “Moses is read” and it is only removed when we turn to the Lord.  Does this mean we should avoid the Old Testament?  Certainly not.  Paul is referring to the Law.  In our world we must understand the law as a reference to our focus on external, human standards.  The Law is anything that provokes self-reliance and self-sufficiency.  It also provokes comparison.

Under the law we begin to measure ourselves and one another by external, temporary standards, we are blinded and this veil remains.  How do I look?  Am I performing well?  These kinds of questions provoke hiding.  Hiding our true condition and hiding our hearts.  We fear that someone may look past the surface, see the truth and reject us.  The veil provides a false sense of safety.  If others see dimly I may not be rejected.  When we read the law, measure by man’s standards of comparison we hide.

Now comes Jesus.  In case you did not know, it is worse behind your veil than you think.  Part of the effect of the veil is that it blinds even the one who wears it.  Behind your veil was more than a mess, it stinks.  The smell of death was there. Behind your veil are all the things you fear and more.

Without hesitation He plunged in.  Fully aware and with healing in His wings, He climbed behind the veil of His bride.  Not to point out flaws but to prepare her.  The bride fears that anyone might see behind the veil.  This was not just anyone, this was God, and He did not just see, he knew.  And He began to work.

Now look with me.

She turns the corner and His breathing stops.  As the two draw close, His heart beats faster.  He knows she is beautiful though she is wearing a veil He has seen her face before.  Finally, the two are face to face.  He reaches for the veil.  Her heart beats now.  She fears that when He sees her face, He will turn away.  She knows He is radiant and glorious.

But He spent His life preparing for this moment.  It is He who has been at work behind her veil, and she has no idea of all that has been accomplished.  She looks from behind the veil, afraid of the look in His eyes when He finally sees her face.  She feels a momentary wash of shame, and then He sees her unveiled.  She looks at Him and sees herself in His eyes.  Not as in a mirror, but she sees His response to her.  She is loved and cherished.  She rests in the fact that He sees her and looks pleased.

Bob Hamp is a our Recurring Special Guest and his full bio can be read on our About page.

You can also follow him at:

http://bobhamp.com

http://twitter.com/bobhamp

I love fresh starts.  Don’t you?  There’s something so awesome about the opportunity to just clear the decks and begin again.   I enjoy cracking the cover on a brand new book or the potential of a blank piece of white paper.  How about a new set of sheets on your bed or maybe getting a “do over” when you whiff the ball?  There’s just something about a new start that gives us a sense of hope and a fresh wind in our sails.

Isn’t that the whole reason we make New Year’s resolutions?  We take a look at where we’ve been and where we thought we’d be by now.  We evaluate our progress, deal with our disappointments, consider our plan of action, and then we simply give ourselves a fresh start.

Maybe that’s why the changing of the calendar from December to January – from 2009 to 2010 – has filled me with such a new sense of hope.   I’m so ready for a fresh start!

In 2009, I found myself in the cross hairs of a very scary and unexpected trial.  Diagnosis:  breast cancer. The diagnosis was devastating, the prognosis questionable and the process of recovery continues to be lengthy.  In those first few months I felt my sense of equilibrium was surely destroyed.   My natural body was weakened, and then weakened again.  It was a disaster – one of those “Oh no!” moments that no one wants to encounter.

What seemed to be the worst has in fact brought so much blessing.  A friend said to me in the early days, “Please take this right – take time to enjoy the journey.”  Well, I have.  It hasn’t all been pleasant or orderly or awesome, but everyday I have arisen (with a fresh start) and encountered a faithful God.  He is kinder than I thought, wiser than I knew and more fun than I had ever imagined.

God can and does meet us in our moments of devastation in a unique and tender way.  But guess what?  You don’t need devastation in order to experience the same revelation.  He is just as willing to meet us in a stage of our journey.  Whether you are in a spring season of growth and potential, or a winter of loss and loneliness, it makes no difference.  You can dare to begin again!

In 2010 I am being given a second chance, a fresh start, and a do-over!  I am cancer free and on the road to recovery!  I am cooperating with God and man to experience new levels of health, wholeness and hope.  I am experiencing a renewal in my body, soul and spirit!

Renew:

To start again.

To restore, resume, reaffirm, revive, replenish, reestablish

Maybe in 2009 you had a few “oh no” moments of your own.  Well, be encouraged!  After all, our God is all about the fresh start and the second chance.  He is always inviting us to begin again with Him.  When we are saved, we begin again.  When we forgive, we begin again.  When we obey, we begin again.  When we love one another, we begin again.  The possibilities for His intervention through us are endless.

He can renew your spirit!

Create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me. PS 51:10

He can renew your mind!

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind… Romans 12:2

He can renew your past!

They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations. Is. 61:4

He can renew your strength!

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength… Is. 40:31

He can renew your body!

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Cor. 4:16

The list goes on and on!  In everyway He is ready to meet you and me in our need!  He’s not intimidated by our disasters or confused by our circumstances or even overwhelmed by the depth of our desperation.  Instead, our God is able to renew us – to give us a fresh start, a new beginning.

Here’s one of my favorite passages from Psalms 51:7-15 (MSG) that says it all.  I believe that God is shaping a “Genesis week from the chaos of my life!”  Won’t you believe with me?

Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,

scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don’t look too close for blemishes,
give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don’t throw me out with the trash,
or fail to breathe holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile,
put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
and I’ll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God;

I’ll let loose with your praise.

Jan is passionate about seeing people – especially women – fall in love with Jesus.  She is a visionary leader who has a heart to encourage, inspire and empower others to believe in themselves and their God-given destiny.  Since 2006, Jan has been an integral part of the PINK- Gateway Women team.  At Gateway Church, she has been behind the scenes of every major gathering of women, including Pink Impact, sharing in the fun of being a part of a magnificent troop of women.   She is a teacher, speaker, and gifted communicator.  Jan is a “blooming” writer, recently launching her first blog and dreaming of books to come.  She is a wife of 26 years to her high school sweetheart, Mark.  They have four children:  Ashley, John, Luke and Matthew and 2 dogs: Mocha and Katy.

To learn more about Jan please visit:

• Jangreenwood.blogspot.com
• pink.gatewaypeople.com
• pinkimpact.com
• studiogmag.com

Or follow her at:

• http://twitter.com//jangreenwood
• http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?ref=profile&id=1408794663

It is so awesome to watch God transform lives and make dreams come true. He has such a wonderful destiny and plan for each of us. He has made amazing changes in my life, and I have watched Him fulfill countless dreams. One of those dreams was birthed in my heart 14 years ago. At that time, I had a dream to publish a Bible Study. This is the story of my journey to a wonderfully transformed life and a tremendous dream fulfilled …

In the spring of 1996, I was looking for just the right Bible Study to lead the following fall for our Women’s Bible Study Ministry at my church in Colleyville, Texas. At that time, I went to several Christian Book Stores to look at Bible Studies. I searched diligently, but I was not able to find one that seemed to be the right fit for me. As I continued to seek God, I heard Him say, “I want you to write a study.”

As I prayed, He reminded me of a teaching that I had shared with the Women’s Group at my church when we were living in New Hampshire nine years earlier. While we were in New Hampshire, I experienced remarkable emotional healing, and the teaching I shared came out of that experience.

Six years before our move to New Hampshire, God had touched my life in a profound way with His love. I was so changed through the revelation of His love that I did not see a need in my life for emotional healing. I later discovered that I needed healing on many levels.  Growing up in a home with a dad who struggled with alcohol had left some holes in my heart. Dad stopped drinking the year I married, but the emotional instability of the preceding years had taken its toll.

On the other hand, my mom had a close relationship with God that was very obvious to me. She took my twin sister, my brother, and me to church faithfully. Because of her commitment to God, I came to understand His love at an early age. But I had never felt the depth of His love like I did in January of 1979. That is when my life took an exciting turn …

One day, I asked God to help me let go of some resentment I had been harboring in my heart. Later that evening, I realized that the resentment was gone. As I began to praise and thank God for His amazing answer to my prayer, I had an experience that felt like liquid love was being poured from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.

I instantly had a strong desire to visit my dad so that I could tell him how much I loved him and how much God loved him. I wanted to share God’s love with everyone. I began spending concentrated time reading and studying my Bible. I started leading Prayer Groups and Bible Study Groups. I was seeking after God with all my heart.

Four years later, in January of 1983, my husband was transferred to California. I knew that the move was in God’s will, but it was very difficult for me to leave family and friends behind in Texas.  While we were living in California, emotions began to surface that caused me to see that I needed help. I realized that I needed revelation from God in order to receive that help, but before I received that revelation, my husband informed me that we were moving to New England, and my focus turned to the move.

We found a beautiful home in New Hampshire, and I could feel God’s love every day, but I cried often. I was struggling emotionally. I desperately needed to let go and trust God with my whole heart. One day I prayed, “God, make me willing to be willing to do your will.” Not long after praying that prayer, God brought Scripture to mind that made it clear to me that He wanted me to allow His Word to bring the healing and freedom I was seeking (Joshua 1:8 and Proverbs 4:20-22). At that point, my life took another exciting turn …

I took two months, and I read through the entire Bible specifically for healing of my emotions. I started in the New Testament, and then I read through the Old Testament, reading as God directed me. Every time I opened my Bible I would say, “Lord, I am taking my medicine.” As I stayed in the Word, I made decisions to follow the revelation that I received.

Through the power of God’s Word and His Spirit, I was released from invisible chains that had been holding me captive for a very long time. Out of that experience, I put together a teaching to present to our Ladies’ Group in New Hampshire. When God placed the desire in my heart to write a Bible Study in the spring or 1996, He brought that teaching to mind. I decided to use the revelation He had given me to write a study entitle Walking in Victory.  I would share with others the keys to victory that God had given me.

Wanting to be obedient to the voice and call of God, I called the leader of our Bible Study Ministry and asked her if it would be possible for me to write a study. She told me to write a sample lesson, and then submit the lesson to the pastor over the Women’s Ministry. I did, and he gave me permission.

I had written individual lessons prior to that time, but I had never written an entire Bible Study. Even though I had no real experience as a writer, I believed that God told me to write, and I was determined to be obedient to His instructions. He had been speaking to me through other people about writing for some time, and it was time for me to take a step of faith …

I spent the summer of 1996 working on the lessons for Walking in Victory. When it came time to register for the Bible Study Ministry in late August, there were three studies from which the ladies could choose in addition to mine, all written by amazing authors. I was both nervous and excited. Would anyone choose to go through a study I had written when there was such an outstanding selection of studies from which to choose?

As it turned out, 25 ladies signed up to go through Walking in Victory with me. God sent me some precious young moms. A number of them had just quit working to stay home with their first baby. Most of them had never met me, but God led them to my group. It was very exciting for me to see God work in their lives. I began hearing testimonies that the truths in the study were changing lives, like they had changed mine.

I sent Walking in Victory to a couple of publishers. I knew some people who had connections. One publisher gave me encouraging feedback, but they were already publishing a book with a similar theme that year. I was told that I could resubmit the study at a later time. As I continued to seek the Lord for wisdom, I began to sense that the timing was not right for me to publish. The next year I asked the Lord if it was time, and I heard Him say, “Wait.” Each year I would ask, and the answer was the same.

God has a perfect time for everything He does in our lives, and it was important for me to wait on His timing. Meanwhile, I continued to be diligent in writing. After my husband and I started attending Gateway Church in Southlake, Texas, I served on the Women’s Writing Team for several years. Being a member of a writing team was very fulfilling, but the dream to publish was still in my heart.

One day, I heard God say, “It’s time to pull out Walking in Victory and rework it.” I did, and several of our Women’s Groups used it that year. I again received some wonderful testimonies. I asked God if it was time for me to publish, and once again He said, “Wait.” In the interim time, I continued to write and pursue the things that I felt God was leading me to do …

Then in January of 2009, I felt that God gave me the release to pursue finding a publisher. I found a literary agent that said she would look at my material, and I began putting together the things that were required by her agency.

When God had first told me to wait, I felt that He also told me that when it was time for me to publish it would be supernatural. Sending material to a literary agent did not seem very supernatural to me, but it was all I knew to do because my contacts with the publishing companies were no longer in place. Then one night, I was ministering at a Professional Women’s Group at Gateway, and I met Wendy Walters. We began talking, and I discovered that she and her husband owed and ran a Christian Publishing Company—Palm Tree Publications.

There was an excitement in my heart when I met Wendy. I felt that she was my supernatural encounter. As it turned out, she was. Five months later Walking in Victory was in print. Wendy did a beautiful job getting the book ready for publication. I am always amazed as I watch God set things in place. He has a wonderful plan, and I am convinced that when we diligently seek to follow Him, He will not let us miss His plan.

I am eager to take the next step. I am dreaming of publishing some more Bible Studies. What is your dream? I know that God has great things in store for you and for me. It is never to late for us to dream big dreams. Our part in fulfilling our dreams is to listen, trust, and obey. God is the One who puts dreams in our hearts, and He will be faithful to open every door in His perfect timing. He is absolutely amazing in every way. If you do not have a dream, ask God to give you one. He is a life-changer and a dream-fulfiller!!

Gaye and her husband Pete reside in Keller, Texas. They are celebrating their 40th anniversary this month! She is a mother, grandmother, teacher, speaker, mentor, and spiritual mom to many. Gaye and Pete attend Gateway Church in Southlake, Texas where she has served as a Group Leader, Section Leader, on the Women’s Writing Team, and on the Women’s Prophetic Team. You can contact her at GayeMoss.com. Walking in Victory can be purchased through the Gateway Book Store or through her website.

All of us have been in a restaurant, shopping mall, or Wal-Mart and seen a child “out of control” in need of correction and thought, “that would never happen under my watch.”  As we watched things unfold we may have said something like, “That kid would be toast, why don’t the parents do something!”  It’s the equivalence of armchair quarterbacking by grandparents, friends, family and even strangers.  It is also true that before we become parents we absolutely know what we would do, or not do, allow and not allow, it is so obvious as we observe a child’s meltdown.  However, when we became parents we found it is not as easy as it looks.  All sorts of factors come into play … naps, without naps, new environment, hungry, ADD personality … all of a sudden what seemed clear and simple as a spectator is not that clear at all.

Then we become aware of the scriptural mandates related to parenting like “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he won’t depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6; “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.” Proverbs 13:24; “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” Proverbs 22:15; Or how about this one, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.” Colossians 3:21

Add on the foundation of biblical truth, and personal experience, society views that any act of physical correction to a child is abusive and what we find out is this: parenting is difficult and complicated!  Doing it well requires God’s assistance.  No parent is smart enough to produce God’s best results alone.  Understanding our need for heavens assistance will naturally lead us to ask a simple question.  What is the purpose of discipline?  Is it to satisfy vows we made in response to other peoples out of control children?  Is it to save us from public embarrassment because of our own children’s behavior?  Noooooo … well then, what is discipline’s purpose?

Discipline has two distinct purposes but a singular focus.  The singular focus of discipline is to teach our children how to respond to God by the way we allow them to respond to us.  Will they obey His command to stop or will they carry on with the activity of the moment as long as they desire?  Will they ignore Him and make Him count to three, while raising His voice before they respond to His commands?  Will they respond only to angry threats of punitive action?  In actuality, how they respond to God will most likely mirror the way they are responding to us.  The focus of discipline is training.

We are our children’s image of God.  If we really understand this fact we will carefully craft our response to them knowing that our response is creating in them their impression of God!  We must ask, “How does God respond to us?”  Is He gracious, kind, understanding, does He raise His voice in frustration, does He give us firm boundaries, does He correct us for disobedience?  Are we modeling what God is like in the way we respond for our children to understand?  Our goal should be to parent just like He does, knowing that without His help we can’t consistently reflect His nature to our children.

Once we understand that the focus of discipline is to train, we are able to work toward fulfilling the two purposes of discipline.  The first purpose of discipline is to teach an obedient response to our voice so that as adults they will make the transition to respond to God’s inner voice as He speaks to them.   And the second purpose is to teach them to embrace boundaries as good and necessary in their life so that when they are adults they will embrace God’s boundaries and live under His blessing.

As good teachers we respond to our children’s behavior, both good and bad, to reinforce, establish, and correct them in order to fulfill these two purposes.  To accomplish this work of parenting it takes diligent effort and the assistance of the Holy Spirit.  I have good news!  The Holy Spirit will help our parenting effort if we will ask.  However, be aware that when you ask you will become the learner even as you act as the teacher.  We must learn God’s ways to impart them in our responses to our children.

If you’re not a parent yet, no worries, it is a good time to check your own response to discipline issues both past and present before you have the blessing of children and the responsibility of parenting.  The discipline you have received in your life may not have been as purposeful as I have described.  Maybe your parents didn’t know any better. Maybe they disciplined you the way their parents disciplined them.  The Bible tells us that we suffer because of a lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). The discipline you received may have been harsh or even punitive or it could have been neglectful and nonexistent.  Allow God to heal your past hurts and embrace His love and discipline in your life right now.  No matter what you’ve experienced God is ready to become your father and His discipline is always loving and redemptive.

May God bless all your efforts to reflect Him and His greatness!  May discipline fulfill its God ordained purpose in your life, as well as your children’s, and may you enjoy parenting in partnership with God!!

Tom Lane is the Executive Senior Pastor of Gateway Church.  He is responsible to execute the vision of Gateway through leading the senior team of the church as they oversee the staff and volunteers is service to God and people.

Tom graduated from the University of Nebraska at Omaha with a bachelor of science in business administration.  His major was accounting.  After graduation he spent 7 years in various capacities while working for a wholesale paper distributor.

In 1982, he left business and joined the staff of Trinity Fellowship Church in Amarillo as business administrator.  During his 22 years of ministry he held different positions, ultimately serving as co-senior pastor.  In 2000 Trinity Fellowship was the planting church that launched Gateway Church and in 2004 Tom made the move to Southlake to assist with the growing ministry.

Tom also serves on the Board of Directors of Marriage Today, a nationally broadcasted TV program whose mission is to help train and encourage families for success.

He is the author of the book, The Influence of a Father.  He is a pastor, conference speaker, teacher, and church consultant.  His relational style and personal experiences bring a warm, tender touch to his leadership, speaking, writing, and pastoral ministry.

Tom and his wife, Jan, have been married for over 37 years. They have four married children and six grandchildren.

This is one of my favorite times of the year. It’s always the busiest but the most memorable.  For some reason, I have always struggled with depression during the holidays. I’ve never been able to understand why the depression comes when I have such a precious family, a wonderful home, the dearest of friends and yet the dark place in my mind where I have to literally choose to step over. Several years ago I realized the sadness I felt was greatly due to those around me who were alone, experiencing grief, walking through financial difficulties or other challenges. I was picking up on their circumstances. Through this I learned that if I would reach out to someone else, I would in turn be blessed. Thus the tradition began!

Being a southern girl, I love tradition.  Purposefully making sure I had all my preparations in place where on Christmas Eve, we could visit a local candlelight service, and then drive around with fogged over windows admiring the beautiful lights in nearby neighborhoods.  That tradition started years ago, when as a child during the Christmas season, our family would pile up in the station wagon, usually with a picnic that my dad prepared for us, that always included something homemade, Pimento cheese or egg salad sandwiches and some type of cookie.  (Yes, those of you that laugh at me because I always insist on something homemade, I came by it naturally) Dad was a cook in the U.S. Army and served in WWII as well as the Korean War, his love for cooking was passed right on to me. I am so grateful. I will never forget the year he was unemployed, yet we never knew the struggles he faced to provide for our family until he landed a new job. We never missed a meal.  It might have been pinto beans with Dodgers (hot water corn bread, that to this day, none of us can make like he did) but we always had something on the table.

Every year, we would drive down in the Turtle Creek district in Dallas. There was a huge house, with a life size Santa on the porch. The Stuffed Santa held a basket, and children would run up to the porch to find a bucket of nickels and a sign that said “Take One” Merry Christmas.  Wow, I couldn’t believe someone had a huge basket of nickels to give away! As the years went by, the nickels became peppermints, but it was still just as special. What sweet memories of learning at an early age to always include others. Every year as far back as I remember, Dad would make miniature fruitcakes to give as gifts to neighbors and close friends. My palate never adapted to the taste of the fruit cake, but he would spend hours chopping that candied fruit, nuts and preparing to be a blessing to someone that might need a little something to know they were thought of during the holidays.  (I always loved Bill Cosby’s statement that there is really only one fruitcake in the world, it just gets passed from family to family) Of course I knew that wasn’t true because over the years I watched my dad make hundreds of those cakes. I wonder if there wasn’t an impartation to me to always remember others. How I wish he were still here for me to thank him for that. My Parents were always such givers.

After I married and had children of my own, it was important to me to pass down these traditions.  When the kids were younger we always did something as a family to share Christmas with others. Whether it was baking and decorating cookies for widows, (or anyone on their heart, everyone got to choose who they gave to) delivering blankets or gloves to the homeless, we would drive downtown and just hand them out the window.  When Kari was 6, we went caroling with her at a senior citizen facility, we had purchased tiny tubes of hand lotion, Kari was so excited to take her turn and go into a room to give a tube to a lady, however, the lady yelled, “Get out of here, little girl”. The look on Kari’s face was one of total terror, yet, she didn’t back away, every year she wanted to know what our Christmas project would be, hoping we would go to a different place where the people were happy.

Another year we made sandwiches to deliver to the homeless and Kristen, my sweet second child was so distraught when someone screamed at her, “I want pastrami, I don’t like turkey”. She wanted us to go buy pastrami so he could have his favorite. We had to share with her that he needed to be grateful for what was given. Maybe we should have tried to ease her young heart and get him some pastrami. We still talk about that memory to this day.  It was a sweet lesson, of how it’s a heart issue.  I can’t help but tear up every time I remember how years later in High school she served as an aide for the disabled students. She was assigned to a blind student, and in striking up conversation after the holidays, she asked him about his Christmas. He said, “We had a nice meal”.  She knew he was hoping for a new walking stick that folded, so even though Christmas was over, she got all of us involved to help contribute financially and had to have the school administration get his height because they have to be specially ordered. She then waited with great anticipation for the call from the Lighthouse for the blind saying that her order had arrived. The joy she experienced giving that student a new walking cane will be in our minds and hearts forever.

Several years ago, we participated in “adopting” a boy from a project we were doing at our local church. We gave Caleb, our third child and only son, the list and a budget and let him make all of the selections for the child. He came home so excited, but repented for being overly excited and going over budget. He said, “I’ll pay the difference, I just had so much fun, it was hard to stop”. It was precious that he was willing to give so another could have a beautiful Christmas.

We are far from being the perfect family by any means and have had our share of what we call “Come to Jesus meetings”, but our kids have learned to be givers.  Whether it’s participating in the Christmas for the Single Parents, providing groceries for Holiday dinners, serving at the local soup kitchen or Gospel mission. It’s not always convenient to add something else to a busy schedule, but the memories of giving and sharing with others will last a lifetime.   Even a $10 grocery gift card can provide a meal for someone or a small family.  I will always remember the words to a song we sang at our church “Little is much when God is in it”.  If it’s in your heart to share, you’ll make provision. If we ever get too busy to care for others, we are too busy!

Every year now I make some homemade candies and distribute them to the neighbors, mail carrier, and a few others. Most of the time there will only be 6 pieces per family (2-3 pieces for singles). I’ve learned that it doesn’t have to be a huge portion. It leaves them wanting more and allows me to have 15-20 small gifts to give away. It’s not costly and so rewarding to remember the real meaning of Christmas where God gave us the best gift of all.

This year, our immediate family will make sack lunches for the homeless. We’ll have our Christmas together then load up and go play “Santa” and give the lunches away. The sack will include a sandwich (peanut butter and jelly will keep for days) an orange, a small bag of chips, a small bottle of water, a homemade treat of some type, a pair of gloves, socks or a hat and a little note card reminding them they were thought of during this time of year.

Our big family Christmas includes about 35 of us. We usually bring 4-5 wrapped gifts each and play bingo. This year, we are buying suggested items from a list provided by the local USO office that soldiers being deployed overseas can get things they might have forgotten or be in need of.  They allow them to select a book and record a special message for their own children or nieces and nephews at home and attach the CD with the book and mail it to their families.  Other items include socks, eye drops, batteries, razors, prepaid phone cards and other assorted things.  We will collect everything our family brings and will get it to the local USO area at the DFW airport.

Whether you struggle with the whole “Over Commercialized Christmas Scene” or maybe even fight a little sadness or depression during the holidays. Why not make this year different by seeing what those around you are in need of. Maybe there is nothing in your budget to add one more thing, but anyone can budget their time and find some to give away to make the Christmas of another memorable. Just think, raking leaves to tidy a widow’s yard will mean the world to her and not cost you a dime.  This Holiday season, step outside your comfort zone and change someone’s world, at least for a moment! And then maybe it will become a tradition; one worth passing down!

Here’s the recipe for one of my traditional Christmas treats for sharing.

Peanut Butter Truffles

2 cups creamy peanut butter

1 stick melted butter

4 cups powdered sugar

3 cups Rice Krispies

Chocolate for dipping (I use Wilton light chocolate dipping discs)

Cream the peanut butter and butter together, add the powdered sugar, stir in

rice krispies. Make into about 60 -75 small balls, roll in the melted

chocolate (Don’t baptize them) Place on a non stick surface and allow to dry

at room temperature, store in airtight container until you package them to

give away.

Enjoy this season of Giving!

Sandy has been married for 30 years to her husband Mark. They have three grown children Kari, Kris and her husband Michael and their son Caleb who all live in Grapevine Texas. Sandy enjoys baking, mentoring young moms and is all about the family table.

We see it everywhere this time of year. Depicted on Christmas cards. Acted out in Christmas plays. Painted on tree ornaments. Displayed as gracious figurines on mantles and entry tables. And every time we see the Christmas scene it is moving. We don’t always slow down to think about it. But even those who have no personal relationship with the Christ know the story and it is endearing: There was no room for Joseph and Mary in the Inn. They had to sleep in a stable. And it was there that Jesus was born and placed in a manger after being wrapped in swaddling clothes. The star above casts a beautiful glow over the heavenly scene which wise men used as a guide to find their long awaited and promised Savior. It’s a beautiful thing. And I love that it has made its way into the celebration of Christmas and now represents the meaning of the season.

The birth of Jesus that starry night so long ago brought Joy to the World. And I’m sure that God was watching each second unfold with much love and joy and pride as any father would. But while God was watching the real nativity taking place in Bethlehem that precious night I wonder what all He must have seen. He may have seen concern on the faces of Mary and Joseph knowing that they were about to deliver, alone with no doctor, the prophesied King into a stable with no baby linens and no bed. I’m sure that God rejoiced at seeing His Son become the Son of Man and saw the tears of joy as they streamed down the face of the virgin mother. God probably also saw the first worship of the newly born King when the wise men arrived. Wow, to have been one of the first to worship Him! What an honor and what a sight to behold. I’m sure God saw it all and was weeping and rejoicing with each one.

Yes, the Nativity scene is one of joy and celebration. The beauty of Him coming to earth overrides the sadness of the difficult circumstances. Rightfully so. We focus on the birth—the coming of the Savior who had been promised. Immanuel—God with us. We sing about it. The First Noel. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear. Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright. When we see the manger scene, this is what we see. What we think of. What we feel. Joy to the World, the Lord has come. Let earth receive her King. But I can’t help but wonder, what else did God see that glorious night. He may have been seeing another picture entirely. While the world began to rejoice that their Savior had come, I wonder if God was also envisioning the purpose of His Son being earth-born. I wonder if above that stable He also envisioned His newborn Son’s brutal, sacrificial death. After all, Jesus of Nazareth was the only person ever to have been born with the sole purpose of dying. While all of humanity—every person born in the whole world—from every country and every continent was born with the purpose to live, He was the only person born with the intended purpose of death.  Now I never look at the Nativity in the same way. It was a beautiful moment when Jesus became human. And I’m so grateful for Immanuel—God with us. I’m so grateful that He came. But I don’t know that I’ll ever see the manger without now also seeing the cross.

This new view of the Nativity has brought a new gift to me this Christmas. I have often wondered why I was born. What is my purpose? But now, with the simple understanding that Jesus was born to DIE makes it imminently clear that I was born to LIVE. My gift this Christmas is the understanding of my purpose in its simplest form. Christ’s fundamental purpose was to die. Mine is to live.  Christ’s earthly title did not give Him purpose. He was not born unto man, given the title as Savior and then realized He needed to die. His immediate purpose for being born was to die. I have come to realize that my titles don’t give me purpose either. My purpose gives me a title. Saved.

Did you know that you were born to live? You have purpose too. You are invaluable. No one can live your life except for you. And no one can accept Jesus as Savior for you. Have you fulfilled your purpose? If you don’t feel alive right now or if you don’t know that you will live forever, this is your moment. Say these words, “Jesus, Thank you for coming to earth and thank you for dying for me so I can live. I receive you as my personal Savior. I want to fulfill my purpose. I want to LIVE, forever.”

What an awesome thing to know this Christmas that you are doing exactly what you were purposed for, to LIVE on this earth for such a time as this, and then to continue your life with God forever.

“For to me, to live is Christ….”

Philippians 1:21a

Also see:

Romans 8:11

1 Corinthians 8:6

1 John 3:16

Mary Beth is passionate about souls, worship and the arts. In recent years she formed and directed the Media Department at Gateway Church and began the publication of Gateway’s ladies magazine, Studio G. Mary Beth is married to Thomas Miller who is the worship pastor of Gateway Church where she enjoys ministering along side him and raising up worshipers with a heart after God. They are grateful parents of their promised miracle child, Harrison, who recently turned five. Outside of her part-time ministry life, Mary Beth spends most of her time being a mom and wife and using her love of creativity to celebrate holidays and birthdays with family and friends.

“Honey, do we have to have her again this Christmas?  She shows up every year and you know I do not like her.  I feel uncomfortable when she’s around.” “Again, remind me Brenda, why you dislike her so much?” “Because she’s ugly, that’s why. She doesn’t look normal.  Her eyes bug out and her lips are huge. It’s not just me, everyone thinks she’s ugly. Come on, please let me just get rid of her.  You know yourself she was a mistake from the very beginning.”

Twenty years earlier, our son John was a toddler and fascinated by the bright twinkling lights and pretty decorations on our Christmas tree.  I loved to watch him look at the “big tee,” as he described it, make happy-noises and clap his tiny hands together with delight. While doing my daily chores I would pass through the family room where the tree stood and notice his gaze fixed upon the little red, round, shiny ornaments hung on the trees limbs.  If he reached out his finger to gently touch the cherry red balls I would remind him “we just look, don’t touch.”  He would sweetly grin at me, spat one hand with his other hand and tell himself “no, no.”  I didn’t worry about him looking at the tree because he was a smart little guy and I was certain he completely understood my warnings.  After all, he was a step ahead of the other boys his age and was certain to have his father’s intelligence and his mother’s good reasoning. One evening I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and little John was in the family room watching Big Bird, or so I thought. Suddenly, I heard the sound of fifty glass ornaments clinking against five hundred twinkling lights and the sound of a loud crunch.  Running into the room I saw John standing in front of the wobbling Christmas tree with his mouth open, and his tongue stuck out as if to say “yuck.” In his mouth was half of a red shiny, glass ornament.  He was crying and looking at me for an answer as to what was happening. Quickly, I grabbed the tree and stabilized it to keep it from falling over on him and then grabbed his cheeks and pinched them open. While bending his face toward the ground I tried to make the pieces of glass fall out.  Cautiously, I probed my finger in his mouth to remove the tiny pieces of broken red glass.  Struggling to remain calm I kept saying, “don’t swallow, what ever you do sweetie, don’t swallow until Mommy gets all of it out.” After rinsing his mouth with water several times I finally felt confident the dangerous glass had been removed. Exhausted from a frightful thirty minutes in emergency nursing mode, I began my normal routine of emotionally beating myself up for not being a better mother, and not watching my child more closely.  That night I made a promise to myself, “as long as we have small children in our home we will never have another glass ornament on our tree.”

I kept my promise.  But the next year when we put up our Christmas tree I realized it looked very drab and bare without the shiny red balls.  It was the early eighties and the standard home décor guidelines were; the gaudier the better.  My friend, Diana the decorator, had advised me “in decorating there is no such thing as too much.”  She was a good Christian example to me and a diva of a woman all at the same time.  I figured if Diana said it, it had to be true, and realized we needed a lot of ornaments to properly trim our tree.  I decided to ask her what she thought we should put on our bare Christmas tree, (after all Diana had started a Holiday Decorating business, so who better to ask?)  She knew my husband and I were on a tight budget having just started on staff as Pastors of a new church, so Diana suggested I make bread dough ornaments. “They are so easy to make, and it is a wonderful family holiday project.  My girls and I (who were the same ages as my kids) made them together in just a week.”

I wasn’t particularly crafty and when I was a career woman I saw no need in trying to learn. But since I had quit working and become a new mother, I realized if I was ever going to be accepted into this new community of “stay at home moms,” or the elite society of “Super Women,” I would have to excel in one of the implied categories of importance. I soon learned the categories that would possibly secure me a nomination into their society were; crafts, quilting, toile painting, decorating, education, or exquisite physical beauty (even if augmentations were used.)  I didn’t inherently find myself with any of the necessary categories, but somehow I got it into my mind that the “wonderful family holiday” bread dough project was my winning ticket for nomination by my peers.  Diana invited me to her house and showed me her beautiful hand crafted bread dough ornaments. She was right; they “set her tree to life” and looked easy enough.  She shared her recipe for the dough and some tips of how to made specialty features like the ones she had put on her beautiful, 3D, life-like Santa.

I couldn’t wait to get home and tell my husband about our new family holiday project; one that would make our tree beautiful, safe for the kids (after all it was just bread dough) plus it was cheap and easy.  How could he not get excited about it?  Well, he didn’t get excited, but in his usual supportive loving way he said “Sweetheart, if that’s what you want to do, I’ll do the dishes every night next week after dinner, and you and the kids can make the ornaments.”

Two long months later, which was one week before Christmas, I was still working on the “easy” hand crafted ornaments when my husband asked me, “are we ever going to live normally again, like before these silly ornaments stole you away from me and the kids every waking hour?”  He was right; what was supposed to be a wonderful family project we could all do together had consumed my time and taken me away from my family.  My quest to be accepted by the “girls” had become more important to me than anything else.  Having become disillusioned with being a housewife I found myself longing for a respected position. I missed the promotions and raises I used to receive as a professional woman and was now searching to find value as a “professional mom.” The bread dough project was not bringing me the fulfillment I hoped it would and I was tired of it myself.  I decided after baking one more batch I would stop.  For my final creation I used a cookie cutter to cut out the cutest little angel and added my special touch of dough to form real looking eyes, nose and mouth, like Diana sculpted on her Santa. I knew this work of art would be my star creation and claim to fame.  However, while she was baking, the kids looked in the oven door and began to laugh.  “Mommy, look, the angel has big eyes and big lips, and I think they are still getting bigger.” I prayed “Lord, please let her puffy eyes and lips go down when I take her out of the oven and put her on the cooling rack.”  But they didn’t.  My special creation that was to be my passageway into becoming a professional mom, turned out to be one deformed, Ugly Angel.  Elizabeth, our daughter loved her and thought she was so cute she asked if she could help paint “her big eyes, and big lips.”  John liked her too just because she made him laugh every time he looked at her.  Rick thought she should, at least, be a permanent “conversation starter” on our tree. I was out-voted and had no choice but to hang her on our family Christmas tree.  She was always on there alright, but at the very back, so no one would see her.  Throughout the next week the kids asked “can we show our friends the Ugly Angel,” and I would reluctantly answer “I guess, but I don’t know why you want them to see her, she’s ugly.”  They had so much fun on Christmas day showing their cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents and friends “Mom’s Ugly Angel.”

About seven years ago I was decorating our Christmas tree and decided to throw that Ugly Angel away.  The kids were grown, married, and they hadn’t even requested her appearance for the last few years.  I was certain they would never miss her.  Besides, this was my husbands and my tree now, and I could decorate it just like I wanted it to look. Finally, I would lay the Angel to rest, and I gladly put her in the kitchen trash can. That afternoon our daughter stopped by the house to visit and saw I had the homemade ornaments lying out, “Hey mom, where is that Ugly Angel you made?” “I put her in the trash can and threw her away.”  “No, don’t throw her away, she’s a part of our Christmas and she makes everyone laugh.”  “I know, but I didn’t make her for everyone to laugh at her, I made her to be beautiful on our tree.”  “We all think she is beautiful because she brings us joy, she may not be perfect, but she’s our “special” Angel.  Maybe to you she means something else, but to the rest of us we love her just like she is.”

“Maybe to you she means something else.”   Those words kept ringing in my ears and I knew it was a true statement, but what “else” did she mean to me?  The next morning I prayed about it in my quiet time, asking the Lord to show me why that Angel bothered me so much. Later that day I realized what she represented.  She reminded me of my failure to become like Diana, and many other women I had admired throughout my life.  Over and over again I would see women who I wished I was like and I would try to be like them, but somehow could never fit in their mold.  I began to laugh, laugh out loud, because I saw my self as the Ugly Angel.  I was never formed to function like those other women, and in trying to do so it seemed I had failed.  Our Angel was never meant to be beautiful and elegant like other angels, she was formed to bring us conversation and laughter, and she had done an excellent job of filling her role.  My failure was only perceived in my own mind, and the angel’s ugliness was too.  My Ugly Angel wasn’t a failure of mine, or a roadblock to my success as a woman. She was a guiding source to keep me from hiding the true me by trying to act like someone I was never created to be. Over the years I have had people and circumstances seem like road blocks to positions and fame I earnestly desired.  Now, that I am “more mature” I realize they weren’t road blocks to my success, they were little nudging angles guiding me to live in the roles and positions I was created to be in.  They steered me away from roads that would have caused me to squelch who I really was and miss living to my full potential.  I’ve learned I can’t look to others to find who I am; none of us can but discover our identity from the One who uniquely created each of us.

From that day seven years ago until now, I have learned to walk in a new freedom of being satisfied and accepting myself for who I am. In this new freedom, I have discovered the very positions and recognition I always desired were the ones I have held all along. My most favored titles and badges of fame have always been to be my husband’s Beauty, my kid’s Mother, my other kid’s Mother-in-law and now, my grandchildren’s Grandma GiGi.  These are unique positions only I can fill, ones made just for me. No matter what roles or titles I currently hold, or shall ever acquire, I am most fulfilled to be like my Ugly Angel placed right in the front of our family tree. It is there we both remain not hidden, but free!

Brenda has a true shepherd’s heart with a mom’s touch.  She has been ministering to women for over 20 years as Pastor, women’s leader and Bible teacher.

Most recently Brenda served as the Women’s Pastor of Gateway Church in Southlake, TX.  Her ministry style is warm and passionate, filled with personal humor from her own life’s adventures as wife, mother, professional woman and minister.  She believes that with God there is hope in every situation and by trusting Him all things are possible.  Brenda is passionate about seeing women reach their full potential in God and have fun in the process.

To learn more about Brenda visit:

www.kingdomlifestyleministries.com

One amazing husband, six children, one son-n-law, two grandbabies, two dogs and a hermit crab named Captain America.  Life is busy!  God is faithful!

One afternoon my daughter came wandering into the kitchen complaining about being bored.  I reminded her the dryer was full of towels so she went to the laundry room and began folding.  A few minutes later my son came bouncing down the stairs and collided with the living room. I asked him to pick up his shoes, hang up his jacket and put up some other items of clothing that were flung across the room.  Oh, if you could have seen the questioning look on his face.  He looked me straight in the eye and with a wrinkled brow asked, “Why do I have to do everything?  No one else is doing anything!”

What??? Oh no he DID’NT!! I looked straight back at him and said, “Number one, your sister’s in the laundry room folding towels for me right now.  Number two, even if she was sitting in front of the TV eating ice cream, you still have to do what I ask you to do.”

I hadn’t even finished that sentence when the Lord started talking.  I just stood there watching as my son reluctantly obeyed and listening as the Holy Spirit revealed truth.

(JOHN 21:22) Jesus said to him, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.”

Jesus was saying to me, “don’t worry about what happens to him, what I do for him, what I bless him with or don’t bless him with.  Take your eyes off him and get them on me.  FOCUS on Me!  Quit worrying about what he is or isn’t doing and you do what I tell YOU to do!  Quit worrying about where he is or isn’t going and YOU FOLLOW ME!”

Or maybe He was just saying this to me as I stood there receiving the download.  Looking back, I believe this could be applied to every area of my life but God took me straight to my marriage that day.

So many times I had cried out to God, “Why do I have to do everything!  He’s not doing anything!”  Each time, as I expected God to fix the situation by fixing my husband, I was amazed with what God revealed to me – about me.

This time God showed me my eyes were on my husband and not on Him – again!  See, when I focus on my relationship with God and let Him have full access to my heart, He perfects that which concerns me (Psalm 138:8).  I had taken my eyes off God and put them on what my husband was or wasn’t doing.  I knew from past experience that if I didn’t refocus, what was concerning me would begin consuming me.  I would start seeing everything from a negative perspective – again.

This is one deception I’ve always had to be aware of.  I remember early in our marriage my husband diagnosed me with Prince Charming Syndrome.  I certainly didn’t like hearing it but the symptoms spoke for themselves.  I had set our marriage and my husband up for failure on more than one occasion.  He could never live up to my expectations.  When he fell short, I wasted no time pointing it out and just as quickly expressed my disappointment.

I remember thinking everything would be great if only he would …   Now I know God had been saying, “Stacy, don’t worry about what he’s doing, you follow ME!”

Of course, I had not been obeying or following God.  How could I?  After all, I was way to busy obsessing over how to make the beautiful mural of my marriage I’d painted in my mind a reality.  This fairy-tale I had conceived and couldn’t live without preoccupied my every moment.  The more perfect the fairy-tale picture in my mind became the more imperfect my reality became.  One might say I was living in La-La-Land.

I remember times when I would come home from such powerful prayer meetings, walk in the door and immediately become frustrated because things were in disarray and I would blame my husband.  If only he …  Looking back it’s funny how the little things were so big at the time.   It really didn’t matter what I saw when I got home.  What mattered was my response to what I saw.  There were so many missed opportunities for God to work and love through me.

Again, the Lord had been saying, “It doesn’t matter what he’s doing or not doing.  You follow ME!  You obey ME!”

I was reminded of when Samuel was sent by God to anoint David.  Samuel, because he looked at the outward appearance, wanted to anoint the wrong guy.  Just like Samuel, I had been using my natural eyes and expecting to see the spiritual.  The Lord told Samuel … “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7) God didn’t just see something good in David, he saw what He had deposited in David.  I’m excited about seeing the deposit that God has placed on the inside of my husband and watching the plans He has for us and for our family unfold.

I’ll admit it was hard for me to do what God told me to do and not see any change in the situation.  (At least not at first, anyway.)  I had to learn not to base my obedience on results.  It didn’t matter what I saw.  I had to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).  I had to take my eyes off me, off my expectations, off what my husband was or wasn’t doing and put them back on God and follow HIM!

If only I had listened to God during those years and walked in love instead of demanding my own way, I could have avoided so much turmoil.                (1 Corinthians 13:5 NLT) “love does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.”

How beautiful it is when we get passed those early years and God’s restoring and healing power erases the scars.  However, isn’t sharing our testimony used in overcoming the enemy?  God’s no respecter of persons and what He did for us and what He’s STILL doing for us, He’ll do for others.  Not that I want to live in the past, but I am encouraged when I look back and see God’s amazing faithfulness (even when we weren’t faithful).  I love Him so much for carrying us, loving us in spite of us, and NEVER giving up on us.

I see God in my husband more now than ever.   To look where we started and to see where we are.  God is so good and so faithful!!!  Prince Charming Syndrome?!  HA!!  I laugh at that now.  WHY?  Because, God gave me my Prince Charming after all!

“He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20)

Stacy is amazed at the glory of God and his faithfulness in making so many prophetic  words and dreams come to pass.  She is married to Monty, her wonderful husband of 14 yrs. They have  six children and two grand babies (God has Blessed them with the gift of adopting four of their children). Stacy loves to spend time with Jesus and journal all the marvelous things He says to her.  She has such a heart for women and cherishes those ministry opportunities. God is overwhelming.

Have you ever had a time in your life when you thought, “This is so screwed up! Even God can’t fix this!”? I have. I was just 18 years old. I was a college dropout, but not for the usual reasons. I was a singer, and I was already doing what I was going to school for. I was traveling with different ministries, singing on Christian television, doing concerts in small venues, and working at a local recording studio. I was walking in what I believed was God’s call on my life. Every day I would think about how amazing God was and how good He was to me. Then the unthinkable happened. Some well-meaning friends fixed me up on a blind date with a “good Christian” man. I went out with him, and he raped me.

I remember going home after it happened. I was living with my parents at the time, and they were out of town. I must have taken 10 showers just trying to get clean. Then I got my pillow and blanket and curled up under the bar counter in the kitchen, so my back could be against the wall … so I would feel safe enough to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I realized I had bruises all over my body, my lip was cut and swollen twice its size, and I had a black eye. I felt ashamed and responsible. I remember saying, “God, I don’t even know if you can fix this one.” I turned on the TV hoping the noise would drown out all the noise in my head. The TV was set to the local Christian station. A teaching show was coming on and opened with this song, “The seed of faith is all it takes to move the mountains in your life.” I thought, “I am being crushed by a mountain.” As I began to listen to the Word being preached, I felt the love of God come over me. I decided to take a shower and as the water ran over my beaten up body, I sang a song we were learning in choir: “I know that He, is Lord, He, is King, He is Lord of everything.” As I sang, God began to flood my heart with His love, and I was strengthened in my soul. After I got out of the shower, I sat down on the floor in the bathroom and cried my heart out to Him. I mean I cried tears, and I cried out with a loud voice: “God where are you? How could you let this happen to me? I’m not out there partying! I’m serving you!” As I got quiet, God began to hold me with His precious presence. Then, in a still small voice, he spoke: “There is nothing that is too difficult for Me.” I responded, “What man would want me after this? How can I ever trust again?” Then, in a still small voice, He spoke again: “I have created such a man.” I said, “Okay, God, if that’s true, you must sign, seal and deliver him to me. I am done with men and dating until my heart knows it’s You.”

Throughout the next two weeks, God began pointing out things in the Bible that were character traits my husband would have. He showed me areas not to compromise in and things I needed to adjust in my life. During this time, the sweet Holy Spirit led me in personal deliverance from rejection, fear and the pain of that awful event.

I was working at a local church as a youth leader, and it seems like I was always there. One Sunday evening I was walking down the hall in a hurry when I passed a room where the singles’ pastor was talking with a very handsome young man. I didn’t hear him, but as I passed by the door the pastor said, “Hello.” The young man asked the pastor, “Who is that girl?” I heard my name called, so I went back to the room. Now, I couldn’t have been more uninterested in men at that time. But nonetheless, the singles’ pastor introduced me to him. I happened to be good friends with his sister. I thought He is really cute, but, like I said, I wasn’t interested.

Over the next two weeks, I ran into him a few times and would turn and run away. But he was persistent. He even anonymously paid my way to go on a retreat with the singles just so he could get to know me. I remember wondering, “Is this guy the one?” After a while, he asked me out. I abruptly responded, “I’m fasting from dating. I’m believing that God will bring my husband to me.” I didn’t see him for a couple of weeks. Then after church one day, he chased me to my car. I tried to get away before he could talk to me, but he was too fast. He said, “There is a Christian concert this Saturday, and I have an extra ticket. If you would like to go, we could go on a non-date type thing. You can even drive your own car.” I laughed and said, “Okay, I will go.” Everyday that week, he showed up at my home just to talk. We spent hours talking on my parent’s sofa. Without knowing it, he was systematically telling me everything God had been saying to me in private about my future husband. God used this man to show me how tender and caring my heavenly Father is.

Through our conversations, I became convinced he was probably my husband, and I must tell you, it scared me. On Thursday evening before the Friday “non-date” concert, we ran an errand for my Mom. I looked at him and said, “What is your deal? You know I am fasting from dating. Yet you keep coming over to my house. What’s up?” He looked at me with kind, piercing hazel eyes and said, “Maybe I am him, and I should get to know you better.” I looked him straight in the eye and said, “I am so sorry I asked!”

Two weeks later he told me he knew I was the one he would marry. Six months later we were engaged, and now, 25 years later, he is still the love of my life. To this day, I get goose bumps when he touches me.

Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Trouble will come; but because of what Jesus did at the cross, it has lost its ability to damage you permanently. There isn’t anything He can’t do! He can heal you and restore what’s been taken if you will just run to Him. He can make a tragedy into a fairy tale, just run to Him. He will answer. He knows the way out and, believe me, there truly is nothing He can’t fix!

Carin Prickett, Married to Dr. Josh Prickett, and mother to two grown children, Jonathan and Whitney.  Carin’s greatest passion in life is helping people connect with God.  Recognize His voice.  And cooperate with Him.

Our oldest daughter, Caitlin, will be 21 years old in a few months. But she still calls me “Daddy” from time to time, and I love that. It takes me back to those days when our three girls were small, utterly un-self-conscious, and therefore, hilarious. They were a source of endless entertainment.

There was a brief season of time back when Caitlin was around three and our middle daughter, Grayson, was just an infant, in which I rented a small office in a modest little one-story building in Edmond, Oklahoma. The offices in the building were all arranged on either side of a long central hallway. My office was located way down the hallway toward the back of the building.

I was just launching an effort to support my family through freelance writing and things were pretty lean financially. Extraordinarily lean, actually. The best parts of the best days back then would be the times my wife, Tracy, would bring the girls up for a surprise visit to my drab, Spartan little work space.

I would hear the chime that indicated someone had opened the front door of the building, quickly followed by the rising sound of stumpy sneakered feet hitting carpet at a full gallop down the hallway. A few seconds later, Caitlin would burst through my doorway with a giant smile, a giddy “Hi Daddy!” and body language that shouted, “I’m here! Isn’t it wonderful!”

And it was.

My sincere response was always one of delighted welcome. Outstretched arms. A hug. A gathering into the lap. A breathless request for the latest news from her world.

Caitlin was too young—as she was charging down that hallway—to have ever once considered that I might be on an important phone call, or in a bad mood, or upset at her for some act of disobedience I’d heard about earlier in the day.

Those things never entered her mind. No she approached with wild, confident abandon—and usually with a request ready on her lips. “Can we go get pizza tonight? Mommy, said it’s up to you.”

There is a thoroughly biblical, immensely powerful secret to effective prayer hidden in those treasured little moments with my Caitlin. Allow me to explain.

In my journey of growth and discovery as a believer, I have learned that seeing answered prayer—experiencing daily, miraculous incursions of heaven’s power into our circumstances—is a simple thing involving three spiritual principles.

Together, these three elements have revolutionized our life as a family and enriched our relationships with God in countless ways. They are:

The Law of Gratitude

The Law of Asking

The Law of Heart Confidence

I won’t elaborate much on the first two principles here. I will simply point out that dozens of scriptures exhort, even command, us to “ask.” And that many of those same scriptures encourage us to blend our asking with thanksgiving.  Here we find all three principles:

The Lord is at hand; therefore do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Phil. 4:5-7)

We must get this deep into our hearts and understandings . . .  God wants us to ask!

“But doesn’t He already know what I need?” many wonder. Yes, but he commands us to ask, anyway. “You have not because you ask not . . .”  James reminds us.

It is the third of these principles that too few believers understand—the principle of Heart Confidence. You’ll find it here:

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)

The testimony of scripture is that it is not the neediest or the most desperate who see miraculous answers to prayer. Nor is it the most pious, or self-disciplined, or “deserving” who find heaven’s windows flying open when they speak. No, it is those who approach and ask with the most confident hearts that see mountains move.

Take in the words of James with fresh eyes:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:5,6)

The mystery of the power of heart confidence is embedded in the familiar words of First John 3:21,22. There we’re told that “if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God, and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.”

The equally valid inverse corollary of that biblical statement would be this: “If our hearts do condemn us, we have no confidence before God, and do not receive from him anything we ask . . .”

This is at once a great mystery and a liberating truth. It means that disobedience, or sin, does indeed damage our prayer effectiveness, but not for the reason we assume.

We think God disqualifies us from getting answers from Him when we sin. The truth is, we stop getting answers because sin persuades us to disqualify ourselves. How? It robs us of heart confidence—the only prerequisite to answered prayer!

This is why the enemy of our souls spends almost all of his time and energy accusing us and reminding us of all the ways in which we fall short. Satan (the accuser of the brethren) knows what many of us do not – that our heart confidence is the key to keeping the windows of heaven open so God can move his promises and provision into our lives and circumstances.

I’ve discovered that most believers’ attempts at prayer are entangled by dozens of disqualifying thoughts.

“I’ve sinned.”

“I haven’t done enough.”

“ I haven’t followed through on that commitment.”

“I haven’t had a quiet time in weeks.”

“I screamed at my kids.”

“Other people get answers because they’re better Christians.”

Amid this hailstorm of accusation and condemnation, many believers give up on even making a request of God. They tell themselves they need to get their act together and become a little more “deserving” first. Then they’ll petition God for help.

Those who do manage to make it to God’s throne slink in on their bellies, laden with guilt and an overwhelming sense of unworthiness. When their prayers prove to be ineffective, they’re not surprised.

I know this pattern because I’ve lived it. But I’ve been set free. I’ve learned that when Proverbs 4:23 warns me to “Guard your heart with all diligence, for out if flow the issues (forces) of life,” that it means I need to guard and protect my “heart confidence” because it is the key to my connection with God.

When I’m convicted of sin, I confess it (1 John 1:9), count it as covered and paid for by the blood of Jesus, and mentally re-assert my legal standing as righteous before God.

I have also renewed my mind to a wonderful truth about Christ’s work on the cross. We all know that Jesus suffered for our sins, having literally had our sins laid upon Him as he was crucified. Most of us are aware that Jesus bore our sicknesses and infirmities, that we might know health and healing.

But have we ever considered the fact that Jesus suffered the ultimate in rejection by God that we might experience the acceptance He knew as the Son of God?

In his extraordinary book, The Atonement, the late Bible teacher Derek Prince wrote:

In His final moments, Jesus was given sour wine or vinegar, which was bitter. This may have been intended to keep Him from losing consciousness. By accepting this sour wine, Jesus symbolically drained the bitter cup of rejection to its dregs. No human being has ever experienced such total rejection as Jesus experienced on the cross.

Prince built that truth into this powerful faith declaration: “Jesus suffered my rejection so I might have His acceptance.” I have purposed never again to insult the enormity of Jesus’ sacrifice by approaching God on the basis of my own worthiness.

Yes, I still fall back into the trap of disqualifying thoughts from time to time. But I’ve learned to fight for my heart confidence. To feed it and strengthen it with God’s Word. To attack undermining, disqualifying thoughts with scriptural truth.

And I have learned to recall that picture of a three-year-old Caitlin running full-tilt down a hallway into my delighted, open arms.

May I encourage you to do the same?

Fly to Him, child of God. Run as fast as your little feet can carry you. Know that you are accepted, loved and unspeakably welcome. Then with grateful mindfulness of all He has done for you in the past, pour out to Him your requests.

This is the secret of heart confidence. It is the secret of power in prayer.

David A. Holland is in way over his head most of the time. He divides the balance of his limited time between misplaced confidence and dangerous complacency.

Inexplicably, his wife of 20+ years thinks he’s handsome and his three daughters think him very kind and smart. And these happy blessings are all the evidence he needs to justify his belief in a benevolent, miracle-working God.

He is the co-author of the book Paul Harvey’s America: The Life, Art and Faith of a Man who Transformed Radio and Inspired a Nation. Previously, he has ghost written dozens of other books but can’t tell you which ones or for whom because of confidentiality agreements and such. But believe him when he says you would be so impressed if you knew. Or not.

He makes his home in Grapevine, Texas.

You can read more by David at his personal blog: www.BlatherWinceRepeat.com

To follow David on TWITTER: http://twitter.com/DavidHolland