If you are over the age of 25, you can probably remember life without cell phones and email. Those of us a little older and wiser than 20 somethings can even remember talking on telephones that were plugged into a wall and had a cord that connected the receiver to the base. (My parents were smart and installed an extra, extra long cord on our kitchen phone, which facilitated my sisters and I being able to hand wash dishes—no automatic dishwasher back then–and talk on the phone at the same time.) Way back in those days of corded phones when people actually answered their home phone and couldn’t screen their calls, a salesperson would call and ask, “Can I speak to the mother of the house?”
The telemarketer knew that the mother of the house makes many of the decisions about what products to buy and how the money is spent. They didn’t want to waste time talking to a non-decision maker. The mother of the house had and still has tremendous influence on her family.
In this post I want to borrow that phrase from the telemarketers and slightly modify it to say, “Can I speak to the lady of the house?” Can I speak to you about your influence? If you are not a mother or wife, I believe the principles still apply. If you are not a female, I hope I at least give you some food for thought. I don’t want to sell you anything. I simply want to remind you of the power of your influence.
Every single person on the planet has influence. Most of us desire to exert positive influence, but negative influence also happens. Even the most isolated person makes an impact on others because we are not born in a vacuum. What we do, how we act, and who we are affect the people around us in both good and bad ways. So whether you feel important or not, you do have influence. Whether you see the fruit of your influence or not, you are making ripples in other people’s ponds.
Not only do you have influence, but your influence is as unique as you are. No two thumbprints look exactly the same, and no two DNA’s match up identically, and no two people touch the same lives in exactly the same way. I can’t influence the same people as you, first of all because I don’t know everyone you know, and secondly because our personalities, beliefs, habits, interests, strengths and weaknesses are not all the same. Our lives find purpose in part in knowing that I am the only me that is me, and you are the only you that is you. I can’t help but marvel at the intelligence and greatness of our Creator to imagine and create the roughly 6 billion unique people alive today, much less all those who have lived before us. (See Psalm 139.)
Not only do you have influence, not only is your influence unique, but you can choose how you will spend your influence. Adolf Hitler cultivated influence then used it to annihilate a generation. Mother Teresa gained more influence every time she gave her life to those who couldn’t give back. Your sixth grade teacher chose to extend her influence by investing in young lives. You and I probably land with the teacher, somewhere between Hitler and Teresa, in how we impact others. But you never know where your choices will take you–Mother Teresa started out as a teacher!
Can I speak to the lady of the house?
You have influence.
Your influence is unique.
How will you spend your influence?
Great Job Honey!
Pam,
Oooh, loved this one! I so get what you are saying, that we all have unique ways to touch others’ lives. That’s why I don’t like that ‘best friend’ phrase. I know you’ve heard me say this. haha One friend cannot ever touch another in all of the ways that we as women need. I like the idea that many women in our lives give us a healthier and more balanced perspective. I am amazed at the differences in my firends in all of the ways you described. I like to celebrate each for who she is in my life because no one else can be who she is. I also loved how you called that out in us, to remind us that those unique qualities do effect who we are with, whether we want them to or not. This was a great reminder. I feel special but it also reminds me of my responsibility to give to others the special gift of that moment that I am with them. Thank you! Keep these coming!!
Love you my thought provoking, kind, fun-loving, adventurous,faithful, amazing friend,
LeAnn
wow- that was SO good, pam! thank you for sharing, I forget sometimes that what I say and do matters. thank you for the reminder!
Pam,
Loved your piece today. I remember those days of the long-corded telephones. I even remember the days of rotary-dial telephones!!
Thanks for the reminder of how our actions and our words matter and make a difference. Very well written. I’m a visual person and I will remember this. We are all “seed planters” wherever we go. Thanks for your thoughts.
Love ya!
Laura
I love that I have influence–and that those little ones who crowd me every time I’m trying to answer the phone are under my influence. Thank you for encouraging women to step up and not only own their influence, but use it for all that it’s worth. I love that you influence so many of us around you and love seeing that “around you” part getting larger and bigger–means it can only make you louder!! love you~m
Remember the Fuller Brush man??
Just yesterday while serving in the cafeteria, I made the mistake of trying to be overly helpful to a grumpy and probably bitter woman close to my age. She is one of those who no, matter how hard you try, you can’t break down her tough exterior to win her over, at least not in the 1st 3 hours of trying. Anyway, the walls she put up meant to protect her influenced my attitude towards serving. It stole just a little of my joy. While she was being paid to be there I was volunteering my time and left feeling unappreciated in my efforts to make her day easier. I chose not to let it ruin my day and was able to limit her influence. But that experience, combined with your blog demonstrates to me how easy it is to let my own pain turn me into the kind of person who influences others to believe that they don’t have value. Even if for one “bad day”, or week out of the month. I hope that in the future I will not allow myself to make excuses like these to justify being a bad influencer.
Great blog!!! Great reminder to use my influence to bring life.
Great job Pam-finally see a face with a name-wish you had had time for our speaking group-lots of good food there-congrats and keep making a difference with your influence.
Holly Smith
Good Morning Pam,
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I have to say that it truly does make you see the worth of a person. How much their actions my truly impact another. Something as simple as a smile has more impact on a person’s day then we think. I hope that this blog brings out more smiles and truly helps people see their worth. I hope that you have a blessed day and I look forward to reading more. I will leave you with a quote that I have posted at my desk…
“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort”
May God Bless,
Jessica
Pam,
Thank you for such a sweet reminder that no matter what season of life we have influence. I remember as a nursing mom needing that reassurance in my life. Now as my influence ripples out I am grateful God cultivated in me the desire to influence for His kingdom at home and in the marketplace!
Pam, very well said! God sees greatness in each one of us, and it’s what we do with what He’s put in us that really starts to make a difference in people’s lives. Thank you for sharing your heart…you are a great influence!
Pam- this is so true! Whenever I see someone who is always cranky, I wonder if she realizes how it affects others around her. And just in our day to day surroundings, we influence others by our attitudes! Great blog ; )
Hi Pam – sorry for the late response – reading several at one time. Lady of the house? Love that! So much meaning wrapped in a simple phase. Blown away by the comment about Hitler and Mother Teresa. Thank you for encouraging us to use and steward our influence with wisdom. You are a woman of wisdom and a good example for me to follow.
Love that mother thing…
Jan
Pam,
You so are the lady of the house! It’s almost a perfect picture:) You impart importance and value to ALL the women you know … it’s a blessing to be able to view. Thank you for the inspiration to do the same. To influence … to choose to influence … to discern how we influence … so much wisdom in this nugget of truth!
Great Love,
~Ris