I sat frustrated and uncomfortably pregnant in my tiny apartment listening to the screams of my baby who was suppose to be napping in the other room. My husband had swept me away from my familiar city life to a tiny town surrounded by things that make me sneeze and a life style I don’t understand to help plant a church. We were young, but he was younger. We had only been married for three years, and the one thing I knew was I had it all figured out. My only problem was how I was going to transfer my great wisdom on to my husband. Arguing didn’t work, manipulation was hopeless, and he never cared to even open any of the books I gave him to prove my way of thinking.
I had just finished reading Stormie Omartian’s book, Power Of A Praying Wife and hated every second of it. Maybe I didn’t finish it after all. I couldn’t see myself ever becoming so weak that I would be the one to change. I was the one who was right and my husband needed to change. He put ministry before us, he didn’t believe in living debt free, he was beginning to expect me to be responsible for all the cleaning, meals, and late nights up with the baby. Before having children we didn’t believe in his and hers duties. I never wanted to be the cookie cutter wife. I was smart and independent and an equal maybe even superior but I wouldn’t say that out loud.
Here I was once again at the feet of the Lord asking for change, for deliverance, when something began to change in my heart in His presence. Many of my frustrations with my husband stemmed from his influences rather than directly from the man I had once committed my life to. I began to see the man I fell in love with and the gifts of God in his life. We are in this thing together, partners through life rather than opponents looking to carry away a personal trophy if we beat the other.
I allowed myself to be humbled under God’s authority over me. Then He asked me to do something that has changed my perspective, changed my marriage, and even changed my husband forever.
With Travis away ministering to youth, and our baby’s cries finally subsiding I began to write a letter to the man I had committed my life to, calling out the gifts of God in him. I allowed the Holy Spirit to give me eyes to see my husband as his Maker created him to be. I honored my spouse in this letter and I spoke life and blessings over him.
When Travis read the letter there were no tears, apologies, or a big deal made of it. I think he thanked me once. But, he put it in his brief case and took it with him wherever he went for the next couple of years. He said that when he felt down he would read it again to encourage himself.
The day I wrote the letter something began to change in me. I stopped complaining about my husband and started believing in him through eyes of faith and trust in the Lord.
The day I gave that letter to Travis something began to change in him. He began to allow me to come along side of him.
The day I wrote that letter God began an amazing work in our marriage. He sent a spiritual storm to shake everything around us and off of us that brought us both to our knees. We clung to Him and we were left with nothing but each other and our children. Travis grew to become the spiritual head of our home and his attention was turned to his family. He immediately got our finances in order as well.
Within a few years God had restored us financially and planted us firmly on a new foundation that is unshakeable. He made all things new in our personal lives and in our marriage. And how did it start? It started with speaking God’s words of life over my spouse. It began with prophecy!
The Bible says that the power of life and death are in our words. As women, how often are we speaking death over our husband and our children in the name of “venting”? We share with our friends all of our husband’s weakness. We stand before God as our mate’s accuser. In essence, we are standing in agreement with the devil as the Bible says that Satan is the accuser of the brethren.
We are called to be prophetesses in our homes. It is our job to honor our husband. It is our job to call out greatness in his life. And when we don’t do our jobs, it is evident in who he becomes.
“A wise women builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1
When God asked me to prophecy over my husband by speaking over him who He (God) had showed me he was, I was simply a young housewife of no reputation. I was no one special. In fact, I didn’t even realize at the time that I was prophesying. Call it what you want rather prophecy or encouragement, but the bottom line is that “love covers a multitude of sins”, “love believes and hopes all things” and love has the power to change lives. It was God’s love rather than His judgment that changed our lives. When has condemnation ever propelled anyone?!
Let’s stand up in the authority that God has given each of us and declare the works of God over our husband and our children. Let’s propel our family to greatness with our words. Then watch expectantly as God does miracles in the ones we love most and answers even the deepest cries of our heart; the prayers for our children to walk victoriously with God; the prayers for a rich and fulfilling marriage. God moves quickly when we agree with Him and declare His will and calling. So, let’s be prophetic!
Great Rebecca! Thank you for sharing.
Rebecca that was incredible! I loved every bit of it. You write so well!
This was great!! Your words always encourage me to press on.
wow rebecca! this is amazing! i LOVE your heart and the example you are.
This lifts my heart and soul! Yesterday I found out another couple friend is getting a divorce. With 2 young kids, four lives will be shattered. Just thinking of it again brings me to tears. It is not the result God desires for marriage. Your story is what God intends. And while this couple must believe the marriage is irrevocably broken, I stand with God praying for reconciliation, restoration, healing and wholeness. Thank-you for your beautiful story.
Thanks for sharing. Your words are exactly what I needed to hear today!
thanks for spilling your heart on that one.
Rebecca
Thanks for sharing your heart and your love for the Lord. It is amazing to see God at work and to see His fingerprints in our lives.
Great wisdom Rebecca! Thanks for sharing your heart and what God is doing in your life.
R- I love that you share your heart in your writting. We have gone through tremendous changes in our marriage as well- and it is so awesome to look back and see Gods hands in it! It is an awesome thing to fully give your marriage and your life over to the one who created you and knows you better than anyone else could. Love you!
Rebecca, Love the encouragement you give us from a biblical perspective as wives. I have to tell you, this hits home. Although, I’m MUCH better at not tearing down my husband, I need to be ‘intentional’ about building him up. The rest of the world could speak of the great work they do- But if they don’t hear it from us, it won’t matter. I just might have to work on my letter this week! God has given you much wisdom through your many experiences~Thanks for your words. Love you, Celeste
Rebecca, this is so well written. Oh, if only we would get how powerful our words. If only spouses realized they are not in competition, but rather on the same team…on the same side. Thanks for your transparency! Glad to call you friend.
This is by far my favorite of all your blogs for this reason … I have known you and had the opportunity to do this “thang” called life with you the last 12 years … I have seen you in crisis and victory … I know to be true the integrity that every word of this story holds. I am touched by the re-telling of this story and the abundant fruit produced by this moment, when you could of chose bitterness … you chose GOD!!!
Again, amazing encouragement and inspiration!
Great Love!
~Ris
You are so amazing for being willing to share such a profound moment in your marriage..I am so excited you are writing and using the awesome gift he has given you..destinybloom is just the beginning for you and the other wonderful women of this site. I look forward to seeing how God uses this in bigger ways than any of us could have imagined!! Thanks for sharing, I know it will touch many!!! I am honored to call you my friend!!!
Love and Hugs,
Heather
That completely rocked my world! I loved it! (even if you made me cry and smudged my make-up, i’ll let it go just this once… LOL)
Rebecca-thank you for your transparency and heart to share. What an awesome way to describe the ability to prophecy in my own home! I love you and miss you!
Love you much~m
Thank you everyone for your sweet comments. You make me smile!
Simply put … I n-e-e-d-e-d to read this. And you simply didn’t have to be this vulnerable! But I am so thankful you were. So thankful that this snapshot of your life brought mine into better focus.
I’m hungry for married woman to share their hearts, in a worthy way. I pray you will do this again soon!
There is so much wisdom in this blog! God has blessed you indeed with the wisdom you have! I prayed for wisdom in my marriage many years ago since I come from a broken family and it seems to run in the family too! I was pretty clear that I had no idea on how to do the marriage thing when I got married! So I prayed for wisdom and never really felt like God answered my prayer…until many years later, I realized that He did answer my prayer, but over the years! I don’t know why I expected an immediate “download” of wisdom from God, but I did! I don’t believe God works that way! He teaches us wisdom thru different experiences over time! I believe that is what God did for you too! Now you have this great wisdom to share with others and I thank you for that! You are a gifted writer Rebecca and God is going to use you in mighty ways though this gift He has given you! Now I’m just waiting for wisdom in parenting–still waiting for the immediate “download”!!! lol ;o)
I’m a little late commenting on this blog but it’s not for lack of reading it. I have read this particular blog 3 times now [and probably will again and again] because it spoke to my heart in such a deep way. You have taught me something very profound in the re-telling of your story…you have taught the importance of humility and honor and obedience in the face of tough times. I have not written a letter like yours but even without knowing the words contained in your letter to Travis, my heart was incredibly moved by your one, simple act. Your honored your husband in such an incredible way, and at the same time you honored your Lord even more. Writing my letter to my Groom is on my list of priorities now. And so is speaking and praying words of life over my marriage and family. You’re right…we do hold the power of life in our words and too often I lose sight of that very important responsibility. Thank you for sharing… I LOVED this blog!
Amen girl!! Tear it up!! It’s the hardest thing to humble yourself to the Father’s call to uplift our love who looks like another child at the time! We know we could “do it better” or are ‘doing it all’, but He calls us to then uplift and bow our knee to being a love messenger! I’m like, “I’ve got a message for ya right here, buddy, I mean, my beloved!”, but God says, “Start over! You’ve got this! I equipped you for such a time is this!” Sometimes it’s even felt like something inside of me was dying to do that! It was flesh and it was broken dreams, but good thing we’re best friends with the restoration maker!! He took my broken heart and gave me a song! Rebecca!I LOVE your story!!!:)
Amen! Preach it girl! Rebecca, this spoke directly to my heart and spirit. Thank you for your transparency in sharing these truths. I needed to hear it today.
You are a very wise young woman. I totally enjoyed reading this and highly reccommend it to other women of all ages, whether married or to those who would like to be. Our words truly frame our world and the world of those around us…for good or evil. You communicated the message very well…
So so beautiful Rebecca, and has really touched my heart on a personal level. Thank you so much for sharing. God truly brings angels in our lives, whether by a meeting, a kind word, or a short story like this to remind us of what’s important in life. You came at the right time, this moment, to remind me that God is AWESOME and walking with us every step of the way! It’s our choice to embrace it, or turn away.
Thanks so much!
Rebecca, thanks for your transparency and this powerful truth. This challenges me in how I pray for my family.
What a wonderful, amazing TRUE reminder to start my day
Rebecca, it took me a while to get around to reading all the blogs on this site, but I wanted to tell you the I love and appreciate your transparency. You have such wisdom! I love what God is doing in you!