An Ugly Little Word
posted on August 3rd, 2011 / by Kelli Jones / 18 CommentsMy kids are always asking me, but usually I say no. Tonight I gave in and agreed to let my middle son give it a whirl. After all, he is the very low maintenance “middle child”, and I try to look for special things for him to do so that he doesn’t get lost in our crowd of many children.
So I thought, why not? I mean at what age should you let your children run on the treadmill anyway? Is there a law about that? Well, if there is I’m sure I broke it. At least he felt accomplished running his little heart out on the treadmill tonight. And he gave his Momma a little Jesus moment in the process.
What’s that? Jesus speaks through treadmills and under-age child runners on them no less? Hold that thought …
Regret. It’s an ugly word. Just look at it. Those letters aren’t even cute ones. But the meaning is even uglier and the damage it does to our lives greater. A feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done is how regret is defined. Um, yeah, I’m not seeing anything good or happy about it so far.
When I think about regret and a downward spiral of actions caused by it in the Bible, the first story that comes to mind is David and Bathsheba. You can go to 2 Samuel 11 to read the story, but let me summarize it for you. David woke up from his nap (pretty sure his Momma didn’t put him down for it) and went out for some fresh air on the roof of his palace. He was looking out over the city when he spied with his big peering eye a hot girl named Bathsheba across the way. Well, Bathsheba wasn’t wearing a turtle neck that day but rather was taking a bath. Suddenly, David starts hearing songs by 50cent playing in his head and well … ahem, wait … um, yeah, back to the real story.
David sends for Bathsheba and he “lays” with her. That’s not what we call it in my house but you get the point. Anyway, soon thereafter Bathsheba takes a First Response® Pregnancy test and gives David the exciting news. Oh, but wait, did I fail to mention Bathsheba is married and her poor little knight in shining armor is off at war? So it’s not even possible for it to look like he’s this “baby daddy”! This is where I assume the regret sets in for David. I’m sure he called Bathsheba on her iPhone (probably the first generation iPhone back then) and asked her why in the world she had to be bathing that day and cause him to stumble. I’m sure he was saddened, disappointed and, well, regretful about his actions. But, instead of taking his regret to the Lord he did what most of us do. He FREAKED out!
David called for Bathsheba’s husband to come back from the war for a little break and tried to arrange for him to lay with her. Every stinking time he came up with a plan for them to “lay together” it would fail. So eventually he sent him back to the war with orders for him to be put on the front line. Yep, he gave him a death sentence. So now he was not only an adulterer but also pretty much a murderer.
When our regret is left to fester it can take us to all sorts of crazy places.
The cool thing about David’s story is that even though he did freak out and do some pretty crazy things, we see in the Bible where he eventually repented and God restored him. Check out Psalm 51 when you have a second.
Maybe you struggle with your weight and you spend your life regretting the bad food choices you made the day before. Or for some, it might be a struggle with parenting and yelling at your kids that causes you to live with constant regret that you’re not the parent you want to be. Perhaps you live your life in the past “what ifs” and regret choices you made in relationships. Many people are gripped with feelings of regret over a loved one that has passed away and things that went unsaid. Some people struggle with regretting marrying their spouse and think they must have made the wrong decision. Or maybe, just maybe you regret letting your kids eat donuts every weekend! Gasp! Whatever, the reason, we all have something we can look back on and be regretful about.
And that’s where my little under-aged treadmill running middle child returns to this story.
My sweet boy is only seven years old but it didn’t take him long to figure out how to run on the treadmill without holding on to the bars and not fall off. I let him run for about fifteen minutes, and around minute thirteen (uh yeah, I was timing him) he looked at me and said, “Mom, am I not supposed to look backwards?” I responded with “No, if you look back too long you’ll fall off.”
That was my little Jesus moment. One little question from a cute under-aged treadmill runner and Jesus downloaded so much more to my heart.
Here’s what I got: It’s okay to glance back.
It’s good sometimes to look back and see how far God has brought us and cultivate a heart of thanksgiving for the blessings and amazing things He has done in our life. It’s also good to learn from our past mistakes so that we can avoid doing the same things in the future. The problem comes when we look back for too long. God didn’t intend for us to move forward in Him with our head stuck back in yesterday. Actually, it’s pretty much impossible to move forward with God if we’re looking backwards, because He’s only moving forward. And when we keep our attention focused behind us for too long we become imbalanced and well, fall off!
I love what Paul has to say about where our attention should be focused and the way it is written in The Message translation:
“I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.” Philippians 3:14
If you are struggling with regret over a sin that you have not confessed, then take that to the Lord and receive the forgiveness that He so freely gives. But if you have allowed Him to deal with it and yet you keep “re-living” it, then it’s time to turn the treadmill on high speed and run with all you’ve got with your eyes fixed on the prize. Reach out for Christ and keep on running without turning back! He has so much more in store for us that cannot be hindered by the mistakes of our past when we keep our eyes on Him and let Him do the rest. I love that it doesn’t say in the Bible “If we confess our sins He will be faithful and just to forgive us as long as we remain regretful.” I checked all 4,293 versions of the Bible and none of them say anything about being regretful after He forgives our sins.
Hmmm, so maybe if it’s not in there, then we aren’t supposed to live there?
Whatever it is-murder, relationships, parenting mistakes or donuts, He wipes the slate clean when we receive His forgiveness. The blood He shed on the cross for everything we could ever do is more than enough for my sins and yours. I wonder if He sees it as a slap in the face when we just can’t let it go.
I’ve got my eye on the goal. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.
What a great message Kelli! Thanks for speaking to me this morning. I was reminded yesterday that I need to run to God in times of desperation… My lazy butt sometimes just wants to walk or stroll to Him. He knows the difference in my heart
Love ya!
Thank you! That's exactly where I have been stuck lately and now it all makes sense why. Thank you for sharing this story and giving me an understanding of what's going on under the surface.
Kelli, Love it!!! I love that you have showed us how even over little things we can stop focusing on the one who can change us. Keep running, looking to Him! So where I'm at, daily! Thank you!
Thank you Kelli!! Perfect words for my family in this particular season.
Kelli,
SO you know I love this! I had to go find the email I orig. sent you after I read it the first time before editing!
"LOVED it my friend … Made me smile, good truth too, It's my new favorite of yours!"
Thought I'd say it twice … love you much. LOVE you getting that BIG VOICE inside of you out! <3
Great Love!
~Ris
this BLEW me away today!! so timely for and so perfectly put! thank you!! and the entire time i read it i could picture you saying it…love that you write real….LOVE you!
This was such "God timing" for me! I've been dealing with some regret lately and you nailed everything I needed to hear right on the spot, lady! I love that you write in my language … Cause you know I love me some 50 cent
This might even be one of my fav blogs! Love to laugh and get revelation all in one!
Love. Love. Love.
~Princess
Kelli, this was great! Such a great reminder…so so so thankful that because of Jesus and the freedom in his forgiveness, I don't have to live with those nagging, empty feelings of regret. I always want to be moving forward…even with all the little bumps in the road! Thank you Jesus for redeeming ME!! Love you!
SO, SO, SO good!!!!! I love that God takes the everyday things in our lives to speak His truth to us. Love you and your heart for Jesus!!!!
Good stuff, Kelli! I love what Paul says in verse 13 "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead"….a good reminder that it's not always easy to keep looking forward, but necessary anyway. Thank you for sharing..and for hearing God in everyday treadmill moments! xoxo
I wasn't sure where you were going with the treadmill, your 7-year old, and David, but I loved it in the end! Thank you for sharing-I love those moments when we least expect it-God speaks. I love you friend~m
I love this Kelli! One of my favorite things is to see God's truths through the adventures of everyday living, so I for sure loved this "God moment" on the treadmill with your son. As someone who has actually fallen off a treadmill from trying to talk to someone behind me, this REALLY hit home! HA! Thank you for this awesome reminder and truth!
What a great post Kelli! And timely too! Those times when God speaks through the everyday happenings are some of the coolest moments ever!! Thanks for sharing…you rock!
My sweet Kelli girl,
I absolutely loved this article!! You have such a gift for bringing truth through a creative and comical way!! I seriously laughed out loud when you wrote about David's regret!! It made me look at the Bible in a whole new way! You should think about having your own stand up show. I would be on the front row!!:)
You also got me thinking of how I have had moments of all the "should've, could've, would've" regrets in my own life and how I should focus on all the blessings and areas that He has brought me through because of my past.
I especially loved this:"It’s good sometimes to look back and see how far God has brought us and cultivate a heart of thanksgiving for the blessings and amazing things He has done in our life. It’s also good to learn from our past mistakes so that we can avoid doing the same things in the future. The problem comes when we look back for too long. God didn’t intend for us to move forward in Him with our head stuck back in yesterday."
Keeping my eyes on the prize!
Love you,
Maree
Kelli! Loved this!! And I loved your updated version of King David and Bathsheba!! You really brought it to life! I always enjoy reading your stuff- it's so easy to read and well written. =} love where you went with the whole treadmill thing. Keep your eyes on prize, and don't look back! No regrets, but forgiveness! Blessings to you my friend~ good stuff! =}
Wow kelli, I know I'm late here (I blame the baby) but I have to agree with Ris, this is my new fav of yours. i sat here and read it twice and it's still sinking in. I still have a lot of regret from my teen years (oh AND the Ice Cream I keep eating) and your words about looking back too long so resonated. I think I'll bookmark this one!
Yep thats a keeper! Gonna lock it up in my memory bank! Regret is an ugly word and its gets you absolutely nowhere!!! Thanks Kelli!!
Kelli, Just now got to read your article – you are so GOOD. The Lord has really gifted you in expressing His truths. I identify with the "middle child" since I am one. Jerry has 6 more radiation treatments to go. They are draining his energy level but he is staying active. He will be preaching twice this Sun.
The first time at 9 am at a small church on the Tennessee River where friends of ours have a cabin and
then at 11 am at a small church in Parsons. Know he will be worn out – please remember him in prayer. Jonnie