I always wanted to be married. As a little girl, my dream was to grow up, meet the man of my dreams and live happily ever after. I’ve always liked boys. I was never one of those little girls who went through a stage where boys were “icky” or “gross.” In elementary school, I was the girl on the playground chasing them. Even to this day, I get along with boys better than girls.
I’ve always had a strong desire for a husband, and I always believed God put that desire in my heart. The problem was I never surrendered that desire back to Him. I never released Him to work in my life. Instead, I placed my expectations on God. I wanted it to happen in my time (around 22 years old) and with the person I chose. I never fully committed to letting God bring my husband to me. I was determined that I would find him and that God would bless our union once we were together.
So, my story goes like this:
- Girl wants to grow up and get married.
- Girl tries to find “the one” on her own and suffers a lot of hurt and heartache in the process.
- Girl doesn’t find “the one” by her 20s.
- Girl keeps getting older … fear sets in.
- Girl finally decides to surrender everything to God, including her desires.
- Girl allows God to fill the emptiness in her heart.
- Girl realizes that God has so fulfilled her that she is 100% OK to always be single.
- Girl meets the man of her dreams at church … God’s house. (No irony here!)
- Girl gets married 10 years later than SHE planned!
- Girl knows that God is in control of every aspect of her life.
My journey isn’t unique. The timing may be different. The choices may be different. But I know a lot of women out there have a story like this. Through my journey, I feel like there are several things God put on my heart to share with women, specifically single women.
If I could meet one-on-one with each single woman out there, here are a few things I’d say to help them on their journey of singleness:
- Let Go. Let God.
Stop searching! Stop trying to do it on your own. I’m not saying to just sit back and let life pass you by as you “wait” on God to bring a man in your life. What I’m saying is stop trying to do it on your own. If God has given you a desire for a husband, trust Him and believe that He will honor His promise to you.
- Live your life to the fullest.
Make the most of every day. Get out there and have fun. Always be open to meeting new people and building relationships. Go on a cruise or a road trip with friends. Don’t let life pass you by just because you’re single. Grab the bull by horns and have fun! Remember, God wants us to enjoy life and live it to the fullest. You can’t do that if you’re always focusing on finding a husband.
- Get to really know your friends.
Once you’re married, you won’t have time to develop the types of friendships you have when you’re single. Don’t waste this valuable opportunity to spend time connecting with people. You could very well be forming friendships that will last a lifetime.
- Get involved in your church.
Who knew that I’d meet my husband by volunteering to host a Bible fellowship?!?! You never know when or how God is going to bring him into your life. Don’t be afraid to get involved in your church and get to know other people who are going through the same life experiences as you. It definitely helps to have friends you can relate to.
- Always be open to new possibilities.
I have a close friend who says she will never say no to a blind date. I love that she doesn’t let blind dates intimidate her. I also love that she doesn’t put God in a box. I know plenty of people who have met and gotten married after going on a blind date.
- Develop an intimate relationship with the Lord.
It’s important to find your satisfaction in Him and to allow Him to completely fulfill your desires. Now is the perfect time to get to know your Lord and Savior on a more intimate level.
The most important thing I want to get across is this: Never cease to pray and ask God to fulfill the desires of your heart. Never. God loves a persistent prayer. He is a jealous and loving God, and He wants to bring all of your hopes and dreams to Him. In fact, our best desires come from God. What He wants is for us to surrender our will, our hopes, our dreams … our desires … to Him. And then He will give us more than we could ever imagine. If you do this and trust Him, I know He will give you the desires of your heart. In His time, in His way.
Until then, I encourage you to live … pray … believe!
_________________________________________________________________
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Glory to God in the church! Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus! Glory down all the generations! Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes! Ephesians 3:20
“Dance like no one is watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like no one is listening, and live like it’s heaven on earth.”
William Purkey
Stacy, this is good. I enjoyed hearing your story. These principles apply to any dream we have–it spoke to me regarding some things I am waiting for God to do. Thanks.
As I sit at my desk in tears I am truly touched by your words. My story to a T except I’m still struggling with the let go and let God part. I’m 31 years old and in MY plan I would be having my 3rd child about now with my wonderful husband of 9 years. Instead I am single with no kids. I enjoy my life very much but often find myself “looking” for my husband in every mans face. Thank you for the encouragement! I do believe I will keep this one to read over and over.
This is really good…even for a “mature” single gal. Living life to the fullest and developing an intimate relationship with the Lord are wonderful truths. Thanks for sharing.
This is very good! I hope many singles read it and realize the truth in all you said.
“All the single ladies”!
So good and so true Stacy. I remember when i decided that my single years were probably going to be shorter than I realized so I wanted to cram as much into them as possible. When I met MY Travis I was only slightly disappointed that I didn’t get to travel to Europe 1st. Instead of feeling like I was waiting around, I felt like it was a race against time.
So, Stacy, what do you think about doing a little singles ministry? I can totally see you being a blessing to the ladies. Just sayin…
Beautifully written Stacy! Full of truth and well, LIFE! Definitely going to be passing this along to some dear friends!
Stacy,
I’ve actually been prayin’ for da single ladies! I would love to have more write for us! There is a lot of opportunity in singleness … I know I loved getting to go on many missions trips and really get grounded in my faith for myself. I LOVE LOVE this!!! I could hear your voice in your very candid way … by far one of my favorite things about you … your grand candidness … so refreshing and needed! I love who you are and what you bring to the table. Thanks for writing this … I kinda wish I had this to read when I was single:)
Great Love girl!
~Ris
Stacy,
I love how you are not afraid to be real. You are an amazing writer, friend, daughter, WIFE, and the list goes on. Thanks for always being willing to share words of life with others. Love you!
Such a great blog!! Thank you so much for sharing your heart! About a month ago I finally came to the place you are talking about where I finally let go & surrendered my will to the Lord. I was so focused on wanting the relationship with the person I’m meant to be with that my will was getting in the way of God’s will for me. God told me it’s not time for that right now, I know what’s best for you so just let it go and let me take care of you. Stop resisting My right to control your future plans. Don’t worry about your future, surrender it to me & I will bring you the best. When you let go, it really does bring such freedom & contentment!
Thank you all for taking the time to comment on this blog. The candidness and sincerity of your comments are so encouraging to me.
I love it! If more single gals would be willing to live what you are sharing WOW!!! Such fulfillment and joy! FUN!!!!!!!!! I loved this for me as well, to remember Gods timing in our dreams is always better than ours. He never lets our dreams go and never stops working on our behalves. This part we often get uncomfortable with cause it sometimes mean in that season of waiting we let go. But he never does!
Thank you for being real with us and for being practical as well.
Just wish I could sit and chat with you for hours I sense we would just have a blast doing that.
Such great advice and such an easy read! I remember at bible college all I wanted was Jesus, and once I was totally filled up by Him, then he brought me my husband. And even as a married, we still need to be filled up by Him so we don’t put unrealistic expectations on our husbands! Good stuff girl!
This story is powerful in every walk of life. God’s timing is always perfect. I went to a Christian conference over the weekend and was “expecting” God to do some very specific things. He did do awesome and amazing things but my specific things were not part of it. I’m learning to let go and let God as you so elequently wrote! God’s timing is absolutely perfect-not a minute too soon and not a minute too late. Besides, the growing is always in the waiting! Thank you for sharing your story of trust and growth in the One who knows best.
I love this! Such honestly and practical advice. I think my story is quite similar to yours actually. God has been working on my heart and giving me a burden for these girls who find themselves settling for second best. Nothing is better than God’s best.
Love Love,
Cassie
I love that you reached back to where you had formerly walked for this blog. God saved marriage for you for a reason and that timing has enabled you to minister to a special group of women.
What is an important part of this testimony is that your desire for marriage didn’t blossom six months before God’s divine appointment in meeting your future husband. You walked in that heart’s desire for many, many years and God still said, “Wait for My timing.”
This is a great story of walking out God’s will for your life with expected patience. I pray that this blog ministers deeply to those women who are walking, just like you did, in expectant patience.
Stacy, I loved this! I still have 3 single daughters so I forwarded it to them to read. I agree that every single woman should read this! I brought back memories from my early single years also. Thanks so much for sharing!